


Superman

by thousand_miles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 47,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thousand_miles/pseuds/thousand_miles
Summary: In the middle of the night Rafael gets a call from Noah who’s scared and in tears asking his Uncle Rafa for help.





	1. Introducing Superman

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me and I finally wrote it down. I like the idea of Rafael being Noah and Olivia’s Superman. I hope you’ll like the idea too. No promises on updates because I have With Coco’s help to write too and I have no idea where this is going.

It was the ringing of his phone that woke him up. With a loud groan he rolled over and blindly grabbed it. He didn’t know what time it was, but he felt like he’d only just fallen asleep. 

“Hello.” He grumbled into the phone. He’d expected it to be work related, he couldn’t have been more wrong though.

“Uncle Rafa?” A little trembling voice said his name.

Rafael immediately sat up. “Noah?” 

“I’m scared, uncle Rafa.”

He immediately was too, but he couldn’t show it. A million things were running through his mind. Where was Olivia? Was she hurt? Was someone hurting Noah? He thought about how long it would take him to get there. How was he going to calm Noah down? He could hear the boy softly crying. He took a calming breath. He needed to stay calm to be able to help Noah. “What’s wrong, Noah?”

“Mommy.” Was all the boy could say. 

Fear gripped his heart. Was Olivia hurt? “What about your mom, Noah?”

“Mommy’s hurt.” 

Rafael was out of bed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and a hoodie. He put Noah on speaker as he put on his clothes. “Where are you? Are you safe?”

“Mommy’s crying.” Noah was crying in earnest now and he could hear the boy’s hiccups.

He needed to really try to calm Noah down if he was going to find out what was going on and if he needed to call Carisi or Rollins. “Take a deep breath.”

Noah hiccuped again. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can.” He hoped he sounded reassuring despite the panic he felt. “Try to breath with me.” He breathed loudly into the telephone and after a few seconds he heard Noah copying him. The hiccups slowly got less. “That’s it. Can you tell me where mommy is?”

“In her bedroom, I think.” 

“Do you hear anyone else?”

“No.” 

All he wanted to do was get to Noah and Olivia and wrap them in his arms and keep them safe. He was a little reassured now knowing that there appeared to be no one else in Olivia’s apartment. Still how certain could he be about that? The fact that Olivia wasn’t on the phone with him, that she had no idea her little boy was scared and crying, made it all too clear something was wrong with Olivia. Should he call an ambulance already? Was it better to be safe than sorry? No, he needed to check on her first. He knew if he’d call the calvary and she wasn’t truly in danger, she’d be embarrassed. Her need to be strong, to avoid weakness was very important to her. Now with his sweatpants, shirt and hoodie on, all he needed to do was put on his sneakers, grab his jacket and he was ready to go. “Noah, I’m going to come over okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Hurry, uncle Rafa.”

“I will. Are you still in your room?” 

“Yes.” 

“Can you open the door for me when I’m there?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” With his jacket now on and keys in his hand he closed the door to his apartment behind him. “Okay, I’ll call you when I’m there.”

“No.” Noah yelled. “No, you can’t leave me.”

“Okay, okay.” Rafael immediately said. He didn’t want to frighten Noah even more. “I’ll stay on the phone with you till I’m at your place.”

“Promise?” The boy’s voice was small and trembling again.

“I promise.” He needed to take the boy’s mind off of whatever was going on to try to keep him calm. And just maybe it would help keep him calm too. He knew how much Noah liked animals and knew Olivia was going to take him to the zoo that weekend. Because of that Noah was reading up on all the different animals. He guessed it was a good subject to keep him distracted. “What do you want to see first when you visit the zoo on Saturday with your mother?”

“The elephants!” 

Rafael smiled at Noah’s enthusiasm, but even more so that he’d managed to distract the boy. For the rest of the time, till he arrived at Olivia’s apartment, Noah and he talked about the zoo and the animals they liked. At one point Noah told him to go with them so they could look at all the animals together. Now wanting to upset him, he’d said he’d join them.

It was when he was at her apartment and as if Noah knew Rafael was standing outside at the apartment that Noah stopped talking about the animals. “Mommy said to call you.”

“What do you mean, Noah?”

“When I’m scared or hurt and mommy can’t help me. I have to call you. Mommy says you’re Superman.”

Rafael sucked in a breath. Noah’s words stunned him and even more so that Olivia had told her son to call him if anything were to happen. Where was this coming from? He’d been spending more time with the both of them. Olivia was letting him into their lives and he treated it like she’d given him a precious gift because that was what it was for him. This though, this told him how much she trusted him. He hadn’t known that. Their friendship was strong. His feelings for her that went beyond friendship were even stronger, but he pushed them aside. He accepted the status quo and was too afraid to disrupt it. She couldn’t tell her son these things. Not when all he wanted was to be Superman for them. That was of course without the tights. He’d be a modern Superman with suspenders. He shook his head. He needed to stay focused. “I’m here Noah. Can you come open the door for me?”

TBC


	2. Superman at Olivia’s apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael arrives at Olivia’s apartment. After reassuring Noah he finds Olivia in her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments to the first chapter surprised me. Thank you for that. I’m glad you liked it. I have no clue where this fic is going. There will be angst, there will be fluff.   
> I am currently on vacation and so I’m not really writing a lot. I managed to finish this chapter. No promises on when the next chapter will be up. Plus I also need to continue my other fic. Still I hope you like this chapter.

With the door barely opened, Noah threw himself at Rafael who quickly scooped down and wrapped the boy in his arms. His little arms wound tightly around Rafael’s neck, head on his shoulder with his forehead and nose pressed against the man’s neck. The boy was slightly shaking in his arms and he rubbed his back softly.  
  
“It’s all right, Noah. I’m here now.” Hoping to calm him down.  
  
“Superman.” The boy whispered against his neck.  
  
Rafael couldn’t stop his smile at the boy’s words. He was relieved when Noah stopped trembling and could feel him starting to relax. He was glad to give him some comfort. With the boy in his arms he carefully made his way from the small hall way to the living room and kitchen, keeping an eye out for any movement or other suspicious activities that could give him any clue to what was going on. He was relieved when there was nothing to worry about.   
  
After checking the hallway, kitchen and living room, he checked Noah’s bedroom to be certain the boy was safe there. He also checked the bathroom and found it empty too. That meant whatever was happening was happening in Olivia’s bedroom. He needed to go into her bedroom and check on her. He also knew that he couldn’t go in there with Noah in his arms. Judging from the way the boy was clinging to him he would be reluctant to let him go. He was just as reluctant, wanting to give Noah the safety and security he so clearly craved. He would have to though. He needed to check on Olivia, needed to know she wasn’t hurt. With Noah in his arms, he walked to the boy’s bedroom and sat down on the bed.  
  
“I need to check on you mom.” He felt Noah’s nod against his neck. “That means you need to stay in your room.”  
  
“No.”

“I promise you’ll be safe.”

“I’m scared.” Noah whispered again.

“I know mi niño.” He held the boy close. “I need to check on her and make sure she’s safe. I need you to be brave for your mom. Can you do that?”

“Okay.” With some hesitance Noah let go of Rafael. “You promise to come back?”

“I promise.”

“You’re not going to leave?”

Rafael shook his head. “I won’t leave.” He helped Noah into bed, pulled the covers over him and handed him his trusted friend, Eddie the elephant which Noah immediately pulled against his chest. Rafael leaned in to kiss the boy’s forehead. “Stay here.” He ran his hand through Noah’s curls. He was about to step out of the bedroom when Noah called for him again. He turned around.

“What if momma’s hurt?” 

Rafael’s shoulders sagged. He didn’t know how to answer that. He was afraid it was a real possibility. He wasn’t sure what he was going to find. He wasn’t going to lie to Noah. “I don’t know, Noah.” He saw the immediate distress on Noah’s face and he quickly tried to reassure him again. “I will take care of her and if she’s hurt, I will do everything I can to make sure she’ll be okay.” Noah’s tear filled eyes were begging him to come back to him and he did. He kissed Noah’s temple. “I promise you, Noah.” His voice was soft, but the conviction he felt was clear.   
At the bedroom door he glanced over his shoulder once more to make sure Noah was okay. Feeling somewhat assured that he was, Rafael made his way to Olivia’s bedroom.

He hadn’t seen or talked to Olivia the entire week. He’d been put on a high profile case and another ADA had momentarily been taking over his cases. He didn’t know what the team had been working on. He hadn’t been in contact with any of them. He’d been so busy that he’d been completely caught up in his case. He missed talking to her, missed being around her. He should have called her, should have checked in with her to see how she was doing. Whatever had been going on, he maybe could have prevented it, maybe could have helped her? He shook his head slightly. There was no use in his line of thought. He needed to see what was happening behind the bedroom door he was currently standing at. He prepared himself for the worst even if he didn’t know what that exactly was. He listened for a moment for any sounds. He didn’t hear any and in a way that was a relief. It meant that there was no one else with her in the room, or at least that was what he thought. The lack of any sound could also mean that Olivia was hurt and maybe even unconscious. He realized this was also going to be the first time he would be in Olivia’s bedroom. He took a deep breath, put his hand on the doorknob and carefully opened the door.   
The room was dark and it took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light. He looked around but couldn’t see her. The bed was empty, but clearly slept in. It was then that he heard a sound. It was soft, barely audible, but it was there. He hesitated if he should turn on the light. He decided against it. He was afraid it was going to frighten her. He quietly took some more steps into the room and closed the door behind him. He waited a moment for any indication that she knew someone else was with her in the room. There was nothing. Walking closer to the bed, he finally saw a mop of brown hair on the opposite side of where he was standing, next to her bedside table, in the corner. He couldn’t see more of her, just her brown hair. He walked around the bed. There she was huddled in the corner, knees drawn up against her chest, arms wrapped around them and her chin leaning on the top of her knees. She still showed now indication that she knew he was there with him. He crouched down, guessing that if he kept standing he might frighten her. 

“Olivia.” His voice was a mere whisper, but in the silence of the room, it still sounded too loud. He watched her for a reaction, but there was none. He really didn’t want to raise his voice, nor did he think touching her was the right course of action. “Olivia.” He tried again just as softly. 

“No.” Olivia suddenly said. Her voice hoarse and uneven. 

He didn’t understand why she was saying no. He wanted to look at her, but she had her head turned away from him. He also really wanted to turn the lights on to check if she wasn’t hurt. He suspected she still wasn’t fully aware of her surroundings. That was going to have to be his first priority. Then he could start dealing with everything else, including Noah who he suspected was anxiously waiting in his own bedroom for either of them. 

He stood back up again, made his way over to her and carefully sat down near her. He didn’t sit down as close as he wanted, but he was within arms reach. “Olivia.” He said once more. “It’s okay. You’re safe here. Nothing’s going to happen.” He paused. He could see a bit of the tension leaving her. “You’re safe, Olivia.” He kept his voice soft and low. 

A silence ensued. He watched her closely and saw her softly shake her head. Was it because she didn’t know if she really was safe or because she was shaking herself from whatever was having a hold on her? He didn’t know and it didn’t matter. He guessed maybe she needed a bit more reassurance. He put his hand on the floor and slowly slid it forward, closer to her. Maybe she would reach for him? Maybe knowing he was there would help her come back to him. “Liv, cariño I’m here.”

TBC...


	3. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah wants to know his mother is okay. Olivia needs Rafael. Rafael makes them both feel safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have no idea where this is going. I’m making it up as I go. Despite that I hope you like it.

He waited in silence and held himself still. If she wasn’t going to react to him, he wasn’t sure what he would do next. Luckily he didn’t have to think about it. He watched as she unwrapped her arms from her knees. She slowly put her hand on the floor and slid it to his until her pinkie touched his. He kept silent.

“Rafael?” Olivia’s voice was a mere whisper. She put her pinkie on his. “You really here?”

“I am.” He decided to let Olivia set the pace and ignore the urge he felt to wrap her in his arms. Another silence settled between them. The only sounds were Olivia’s shuddering breaths. He wondered if she would reach for him. She didn’t. Nor did she pull her pinkie away from his. 

“Can I get you a glass of water?” He finally asked. 

“Sure.” Not that she needed one. She didn’t want him to leave. She took another shuddering breath. 

Even though it was his suggestion to get her some water, he was reluctant to leave her alone. When he got up, he noticed how her hand moved towards him before she quickly put her arm back around her knees. At the bedroom door he warned her. “I’m going to put the light on.”  
Closing the door behind him Rafael sighed in relief that Olivia wasn’t hurt. 

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah was waiting outside his bedroom.

“Noah, I asked you to stay in your room.” He walked over to the boy and Noah immediately grabbed his hand.

“Sorry.” He apologized for not staying in his room. “I’m worried about momma.”

“I know you are.”

“Is momma okay?” 

She wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to tell Noah that. He also didn’t want to lie to him. “She’ll be fine, Noah.”

“I wanna see her.”

Rafael gently held him back with his hand on his shoulder. “I know you do, but not right now. You need to go back to bed.”

“Okay.” Noah grabbed the man’s hand again and followed Rafael to his bedroom. 

Rafael tucked Noah in again. “Try to get some sleep.”

“You won’t leave?” Noah wanted his uncle Rafa to promise once more.

“I won’t leave.”

“You’ll be here tomorrow?”

“I will.”

“And you’ll keep momma safe?”

“Yes, I will keep her safe.” 

It appeared Noah was now reassured. He put his head on his pillow. “Nigh, uncle Rafa.”

“Night.” He caressed the boy’s hair before he left. He was glad to have reassured Noah, but wondered if now Olivia would think he’d left. He quickly went to the kitchen, got out a glass and filled it with water. Back at Olivia’s bedroom he quietly opened the door. She was still in the same spot. Not entirely sure if she knew he was back, he carefully approached her. He set the glass down on the bedside table. He sat down again on the same spot as before. Olivia moved her hand over the floor to where his had been before he’d left. He quickly slid his hand towards her, but didn’t touch her. Olivia did and again her pinkie covered his. 

“Noah?” She asked.

“He’s fine.”

“Scared?”

“You or Noah?” He asked to clarify though he knew it was both.

“Noah.”

“Not anymore.”

“Thank you.” 

“What about you?” He wanted to try to get her talking.

“What about me?”

“Olivia.” It was only her name but he knew it was all he had to say.

“I can’t.” Was the only thing she said. 

He didn’t want to push her, at least not yet. “Okay.” He nodded. “Okay. How about you get back in bed and try to get some more sleep.”

“I don’t think I can.”

He didn’t think she could either. “At least get back in bed and try to get some rest.”

She kept silent, unmoving, contemplating his words. “Will you stay?”

“I’ll be on the couch.”

“No. Stay here.”

He doubted that was a good idea. He didn’t want to argue with her. He just wanted her to get off the floor and in bed. As if she sensed his hesitance or maybe it was reluctance she uttered words that made it impossible for him to refuse her anything. 

“I need to feel safe.” Her pinkie curled around his. “You make me feel safe.”

He shuddered at her words. “I’ll stay.” When she released him, he felt the loss of contact immediately and more deeply than he expected. He watched her get up and saw how unsteady she was on her feet. He immediately got on his feet and kept close in case she fell. It was when she got under the covers that he saw she was hurt. There was blood at her eyebrow or near her eyebrow. Upon closer inspection he saw it was dried blood. He was relieved she was no longer bleeding, but the fact that she had been all alone, scared and hurt, it scared him because it could have been so much worse. He kept his eyes on her as he helped her under the covers. Olivia kept her eyes cast downwards, clearly avoiding his eyes. From the way she’d clung to his hand, even if it was just with her pinkie, he knew she needed closeness. He guessed she was reluctant to ask for it. With Olivia completely wrapped in the covers he sat down on the edge of the bed. He gently caressed her hair, just as he’d done with her son. “You’re safe.” He whispered. 

TBC...


	4. A new day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael wants Olivia to get some more rest. Noah doesn’t want to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea of Rafael taking care of Noah and Olivia. And with Olivia being vulnerable he is willing to push the boundaries. He gets to be more affectionate and I like that.   
> I hope you will like it too. Thank you for reading and thank you for the kudos and comments.

He hadn’t really slept. After Olivia had finally fallen asleep he’d taken a seat on the bed. He’d kept his eyes on her, wanting to be able to reassure her if she needed it. A couple of times she’d started whimpering in distress, but every time he’d managed to calm her down with a gentle caress of her arm or shoulder before it got worse. He was also glad that Noah apparently had been able to sleep for the rest of the night. He looked at the time and knew he had to get up. Even though it was Saturday he’d planned to go to work. He needed to prepare his case that was going to trial the next week. With the amount of publicity he needed to be prepared for everything. He looked at Olivia. She was on her side, facing him, her face relaxed, her hair spread across her pillow and her hand out to the side, as if reaching for something, or someone. He was reluctant to leave her side. He was afraid she would deny what had happened, hide behind her walls and brush it off. Another reason was that he guessed she would go back to work when she really needed to rest. And she needed to spend time with Noah to reassure him all was okay. Carefully he got off the bed. Just before he left her bedroom he looked over his shoulder and was relieved he hadn’t woken her up. He checked on Noah and noticed the boy was still asleep too. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he called Fin. He needed to know what was going on and he needed him to take over to give Olivia some time to recover. He was sure she was going to be angry at him. Angry for him undermining her, for making decision for her, for thinking she was weak. He could deal with her anger. What he couldn’t deal with was her pain.

After talking to Fin Rafael walked to the kitchen when he saw movement from the corner of his eyes. It was Noah who, in his pajamas, was making his was to his mother’s bedroom. He had his trusty companion Eddie in his hand and with his other hand he was rubbing his eyes. Rafael quickly made his way to him before he could knock on the bedroom door and wake his mother up. 

“Buenos dias mi amigo.” He softly greeted Noah.

“Morning uncle Rafa.” Noah mumbled still a bit sleepy. Noah looked at the bedroom door. “I wanna see momma.”

“Your mom’s still asleep. Let’s let het sleep some more.” Noah contemplated his words and nodded. “How about I make you breakfast? Pancakes?” Putting his hand on Noah’s shoulder he guided him to the kitchen.

At first Noah was quiet, probably still needing to wake up, but after a short while he was back to his usual talkative self. It was only after breakfast that Noah got quiet again. He had Eddie on his lap and was plucking at either a visible or invisible thread. 

“Uncle Rafa.” He finally started. “Can you stay with me today?”

Rafael ran a hand through his hair. Noah didn’t really give him a chance to answer because he continued. 

“Or maybe call Lucy? I think momma’s gotta work. I don’t wanna stay home alone. I get scared.” He explained looking at his uncle with big eyes.

He wondered if Noah and Olivia knew what it did to them when they looked at him with these big eyes full of hope and wonder. It tugged at his heart and all he wanted was to love them with all his heart and keep them with him. Well he loved them with all his heart already. He just hadn’t said the words to them. He realized Noah needed some more comfort, the effects of last night still lingering within him. An idea dawned on him. He wanted to give Olivia some time to get some rest and recover. He also knew that she would need Noah with her to reassure him and also for herself. Noah always helped her chase the demons away. He decided to go home, change clothes, go to his office and take his work with him back to Olivia’s home. And he would take Noah with him.

“You want to go with me to my apartment and office before we come back here? Then your mom can get some more sleep and we will have some fun too.”

“Yes.” Noah cheered, but immediately quieted down. 

“Go get ready. I’ll clean everything up.”

After cleaning the kitchen Rafael needed to check on Olivia. He also needed to wake her up to tell her he would take Noah with him. If he didn’t and she wouldn’t find Noah at home she’d panic. He was about to ask Noah to keep himself occupied in the living room when he saw that Noah had done exactly that already. He was playing with his legos. He told Noah he would be right back and made his way to Olivia’s bedroom. 

He quietly opened the bedroom door. He was relieved that she was still asleep. He walked over to her side of the bed and sat down on the edge near her hip. He didn’t want to wake her up. He gently ran his hand over her hair. “Olivia.” He whispered. She stirred but that was it. “Cariño.” He again whispered. He continued to run his hand over her hair. 

She started to stir. “Rafa.” 

He didn’t want her to wake up enough that she would get up. “I’m going to take Noah with me to my apartment and office. We’ll be back, okay?” 

“Kay.” 

The fact that she didn’t even object or try to get up made it clear he’d made the right decision. She didn’t even try to fight to keep her eyes open. He didn’t really know why he gave in to his need to kiss her this time. He usually was very good at resisting that particular urge. It had practically become second nature. When she challenged him, when they argued, when she smiled at him, when she laughed with him, it didn’t actually matter what she did. He always wanted to kiss her. He leaned in and softly brushed his lips over her cheek, he even nuzzled his nose against her cheek. “Sleep, mi amor.” 

TBC...


	5. Rita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael forgets about his meeting with Rita and so when Rita walks into his office it’s not Rafael at his desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Rita and I thought it would be nice to bring her in to this fic. Not much Rafael and Olivia in this one. Still I hope you like it. I still have no idea where this is going. For those still hanging in there with me. Thank you!

Rafael watched Noah sitting happily at his desk in his office. They’d already gone to his apartment. He’d quickly showered and grabbed his bag. Now at his office he was glad he’d brought Noah’s bag with him too. There was a coloring book, several colored pencils, a few toy cars and some legos and he was quietly playing with his legos at the moment. 

On his table were several folders Rafael was sorting through when suddenly Rita walked into his office. Focused on the folder in her hand she didn’t notice Rafael wasn’t at his desk. When she finally did look up, Rita was surprised. “Who are you?” Rita asked in her familiar, somewhat blunt, manner. 

Noah looked up from his legos and stared at the tall woman. “I’m Noah. Who are you?”

Instead of answering she had another question. “Where’s Rafael?” 

“Right here, Rita.” Rafael finally spoke up. It wasn’t often that he managed to catch Rita off guard and when he did, he enjoyed the moment. 

“New client?” She joined him at the table. 

“No.”

“Then what’s the boy doing here? I know he’s not a part of our case.” 

“Shit.” Rafael muttered. He’d completely forgotten about his appointment with Rita. Turned out he’d also completely forgotten Noah was present.

“That’s a bad word uncle Rafa.” Noah giggled. 

He glanced at Rita who had a big grin on her face. He knew he was in for some remarks. He turned to Noah. “Noah, will you be okay by yourself for a moment? I’ll be just outside the door, okay?”

“Okay, uncle Rafa.”

He smiled. “How about you take out your coloring book and color one for your mom? I bet she’d like that.”

Noah immediately nodded his agreement and grabbed his coloring book and several crayons. Rafael waited for Rita to precede him out of his office and followed her. He left the door to his office ajar in case Noah needed him. 

“Uncle Rafa?” Rita immediately pounced on him the case suddenly far less interesting.Then it dawned on her. “Is that Benson’s kid?” She knew all about Olivia Benson. That wasn’t true. What she knew was what her friend told her about the SVU lieutenant and that was actually quite a lot. So maybe she did know all about Olivia Benson. She wondered if Rafael knew how much he talked about her. 

“Yes.” He knew he was in trouble. He just hoped Rita would go easy on him.

“Why is Benson’s son in your office? And where is your Lieutenant?” She put her hands on her hips and smirked. 

“Olivia’s busy. She’s working on a case.”

“And she asked you to take care of her son? Exactly how close are you two?” 

Rafael ran his hand over the back of his neck and shifted on his feet. “She needed help.” He eventually said. 

His discomfort in the direction their conversation had taken was obvious. He was fidgeting, kept shifting on his feet and his shoulders were tense. It surprised her. Never before had he been this uncomfortable when they’d talked about Olivia Benson. She’d long ago guessed her friend’s feelings for the head of the SVU squad ran much deeper than he was willing to admit. For all the teasing that she did, she considered Rafael to be one of her closest friends. She cared for him and wanted him to be happy. Yet she also felt protective of him because he sometimes forgot to protect himself. “What’s really going on?”

He hesitated. He knew Olivia wouldn’t want him to share why Noah was currently with him. On the other hand, he knew Rita wasn’t going to let this one go either. Besides, Rita was a close friend. He knew he could trust her. And so he told her the recent events and why Noah was here. “She needs some time to find her footing again.” He explained.

“Rafael.” He’d said it all rather matter-of-factly but his worry for Benson was obvious. She didn’t even have to say more.

“I know what you’re thinking, Rita. I want to take care of them. When Noah called me last night, I got scared. For a moment I was confronted with the thought of having to live life without her. I know it’s silly. She’s a cop, something can happen on the job. But in her own home, with her son there, I thought it was going to be like Lewis all over again.” He’d mostly dealt with his guilt regarding his part in the Lewis case and trial, but that call had brought it too close to the surface again. “She always takes care of everyone and tends to forget herself.”  
Rafael looked away for a moment. “She’s always so strong. To see her so vulnerable, I just want to take her pain away.”

“And when you have to leave again? She’s not to only one who tends to forget herself.” 

“I’ll manage.” 

Rita stepped forward. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

Rafael nodded. He was about to say something when his phone rang. It was Olivia. “Olivia?” He quickly greeted her. 

“I can’t find Noah.” The panic in her voice obvious.”He’s not at home. I don’t know where he is. I...”

“He’s with me Liv.” Despite the reassurance her breathing was still too short and too fast. She needed to calm. “Take a deep breath, cariño.” He waited for her to do so. “I took Noah with me, remember? I wanted to let you sleep in.”

“I forgot.” Olivia softly admitted. 

“I should have left you a note. I woke you up and you weren’t fully awake yet.”

“When will you be home?” 

Her words and the way she said it, so soft and vulnerable with a slight tremble, it tugged at his heart. How he wanted her and Noah to be his home. “We’ll be home soon, I promise.” He said his goodbye and hung up. He stayed silent for a moment. He felt Rita’s eyes on him. Surely she wasn’t going to let this one go either.

She’d watched and listened to the interaction closely. The term of endearment wasn’t lost on her either. Though she’d only heard his part of the short conversation, it was more than enough. Her friend was in way much deeper than she’d expected. When he finally met her eyes, he was practically pleading her to let it go. She nodded. She saw it was hard enough for him already. 

“I need to do this Rita. I can’t...” He ran a hand through his hair. 

She put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. “I’m just worried for you.”

“Thank you. I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.” She collected her briefcase and folder and made her way to the exit. “I’ll see you Monday.”

TBC....


	6. Strike a pose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their way back to Olivia’s apartment, Noah convinces Rafael to buy them all some shirts. Some Superman shirts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was time for a lighter chapter and thought this could be fun. Also though I have no trouble imagining Rafael in a nice tight fitting shirt, I have trouble being able to describe it and it’s at moments like that that the fact that English isn’t my native language turns into a problem. Still I hope it’s not too big of a problem. Otherwise just imagine him standing there in a tight shirt. And I hope it doesn’t take away from you reading this chapter and hopefully also liking the chapter. Thanks for the reads, kudos and comments.

They arrived later at Olivia’s apartment than he’d intended. Noah had spotted a comic store shop on their way home and it sold not only comic books but also comic related clothes. In the display there was a Superman shirt and as soon as Noah saw it he was determined his uncle Rafa needed to have one. Though he didn’t want to keep Olivia waiting too long, he also had a hard time refusing Noah. He’d guessed the quickest way to get to Olivia was to take Noah to the store and get a shirt. He’d of course bought one for Noah and when Noah had suggested to buy one for his Mom Rafael once again agreed and so he left the store with three Superman shirts. He just hoped Noah wasn’t going to make him wear his. 

As soon as he opened the door Noah stormed inside in search of his mother. “Momma.” Rafael put his briefcase and bag down and hung his jacket. When he joined mother and son in the living room, Noah had gotten rid of his coat and was proudly showing Olivia his Superman shirt he had in his hands. His shirt was blue with the familiar logo in the middle. On the back of the shirt was Superman, standing in his familiar pose. 

“That’s a really cool shirt.”

“Uncle Rafa bought it for me.”

Then Olivia and Rafael’s eyes met for the first time. He could see she was still tired, but she wasn’t tense. Her eyes, the eyes that so often captivated him, were open and soft and he felt himself getting lost in them. 

“And why was that?” Olivia asked her son but kept her eyes on Rafael. She was so glad to see him. He’d managed to calm her down when she’d called him in a panic. The previous night had been a bit of a blur to her. The entire week had been a struggle and she realized that without him at her side and with such a difficult case she felt unbalanced and she kept everything bottled up. It had only been a matter of time till it would flow over. She’d just hoped it wouldn’t have happened when Noah was around. When she’d woken up she thought she’d dreamed Rafael had been at her home and had woken her up. It was then that she went in search of Noah and hadn’t found him. Her first call had been Rafael who had immediately calmed her down and she found out that his presence at her home hadn’t been a dream. She still wasn’t sure what had happened and how Rafael had showed up at her place and that made her feel unsure of herself. She needed to find out what had happened and if in any way she’d frightened Noah. Though looking at him she seemed fine. 

“Uncle Rafa got one too, mom.” Noah continued. He was too excited to tell about the shirts that he forgot about her question. “And we got you one too.” Noah turned towards Rafael. “Where’s Momma’s shirt?” 

Rafael held up the bag and handed it to Noah who handed it over to his mother. Olivia took the shirt out of the bag. It was a long sleeve shirt with a v-neck, blue of course and the logo in the middle. Unlike Noah’s this one didn’t have anything on the back. “Thank you sweet boy.” Olivia hugged her son and kissed his head. 

“Show yours Uncle Rafa.” 

“Eeuuh.” Rafael hesitated. “It’s similar to yours.” He hoped that answer would satisfy both Bensons. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of the shirt, it was more that the reason for it, what Noah had told him, he didn’t want to embarrass Olivia. It most likely was something she didn’t want him to know.

Olivia saw Rafael was uncomfortable, but couldn’t understand why. Had something happened between him and Noah? She was about to say something when Noah spoke up.

Noah had an idea. “You gotta wear yours.” 

“I don’t think...” It was all Rafael got to say.

“Please Uncle Rafa? Please?” Noah pleaded. He walked over to his Uncle Rafa, looked up at him, his eyes big and widened grabbed his hand. “ Please.” He asked again softly.

Rafael looked from Noah to Olivia, who was grinning, back to Noah. He tried to glare but it was no use. The Bensons eyes were his weak spot. But he had an idea that might dissuade Noah. “Only if you wear yours too.” That idea backfired on him though.

“Yes!” And Noah immediately grabbed the hem of his sweater and started pulling it up. 

Olivia watched her son for a moment with a smile on her face but quickly looked at Rafael and laughed at his expression of defeat. “He’s got you there.” She whispered. She held his eyes and for a long moment Rafael and Olivia just looked at each other.

Noah had, his excitement gotten his sweater stuck around his head. “Mom.” He ended Rafael’s and Olivia’s moment. “I’m stuck.” 

Olivia laughed at her son who was flailing his arms in the air in the hopes to get the sweater up and over his head. 

“Uncle Rafa, are you wearing your shirt already?” His voice muffled by the sweater. 

“Not yet amigo.” He watched Olivia help her son get the sweater up and over his head. 

With his hair wild and sticking out Noah grinned at the man. “Momma can help you with your sweater too Uncle Rafa if you get stuck.”

He glanced at Olivia and delighted in the sparkle in her eyes. “I’m sure I can manage.” 

“Okay.” Noah shrugged and grabbed his shirt and quickly put it on. “Uncle Rafa, you gotta wear the shirt. You promised.”

“Yes, I’ll go change.”

“You can change here, just like me.” Noah suggested. He didn’t see the need to change somewhere else. 

“I’ll go change in the bath room.” He felt Olivia’s eyes on him as he made his way to the bath room. 

A couple of minutes later Rafael reappeared. Olivia immediately noticed how nice the shirt fit him. It was snug an stretched nicely over his well built chest. Those suits, and his sweaters too, hid quite a physique. His strong arms seemed even more muscular because of the tight short sleeves. She had to stop herself from staring but she felt she had to make sure she really knew how the shirt looked. It was blue, just like hers and Noah’s. The Superman logo of course also in the middle of his shirt.   
“Turn around Uncle Rafa.”

She knew she had to look at the design of the shirt, but she got distracted by Rafael’s backside. He was wearing jeans and they fit him ooh so nice and snug around his ass. She told herself to avert her eyes and though they lingered she managed to do so. When she saw the back of her shirt she laughed. On the back was the familiar red cape in such a way that it seemed like it moved, caught by the wind. Before she could say anything to Rafael, who had turned back round and was facing the Bensons again, Noah had another idea.

He moved to stand next to his uncle and looked up at him a gain. “We have to stand like Superman.” He was full of excitement again. 

Rafael heard Olivia’s laugh despite the fact she tried to muffle it by covering her mouth with her hand. He looked down at Noah who was already in his Superman pose. The little boy had his chest puffed out, chin up, a wide stand and his hands on his hips with the elbows to the outside. He smiled and copied Noah’s pose. Noah’s big bright smile at seeing him in the Superman pose had him smiling. Together they looked expectantly at Olivia with big goofy grins on their faces.

Olivia had the same big goofy grin on her face and her heart, her heart felt like it could explode. There was her Rafael with her son, posing as Superman and her son looked at the man as if he hung the moon. “You boys look fantastic. Like real superheroes.” She loved them both so much. “I’m going to have to take a picture.” 

Noah jumped at the idea. “Yes. Can you print it and put it up on the fridge?” He turned to the Superman beside him. “You want one too Uncle Rafa?”

He actually really did. He smiled and nodded at Noah. When Olivia came back with her phone to take the picture, he and Noah got back in position and Olivia took the picture.

TBC...


	7. Back to work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia finds out the reason for the Superman shirts. It’s also time for her to go back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that there were some issues with my previous chapters. There was no explanation why Noah wasn’t at school. The time line isn’t really clear either but all I know it’s still the work week. And then there was the issue if Rafael knew what kind of case Olivia was dealing with. So I felt I had to clear that up. Some tension between Olivia and Rafael in this chapter. I also felt like I needed to emphasize how Olivia’s used to dealing with things on her own and that she might struggle with this feeling of needing someone, needing Rafael. Or that is at least how I see it.  
> Thank you for all who reviewed, left kudos and read this doc so far. I am really happy you’re enjoying it.

Noah decided he was going to keep his Superman shirt on. He was slightly disappointed when his uncle Rafa changed back into his sweater. He was standing at the printer waiting anxiously for the pictures they’d taken. 

In the kitchen Rafael and Olivia finally had a moment. “Thank you for taking care of him.” Olivia softly said. She kept herself busy by preparing coffee for the both of them. She felt a bit unsure of herself. It felt like she’d failed her son and in a way Rafael too. He had to step in and take care of Noah when she couldn’t. The previous night was still somewhat of a blur to her. She still didn’t know how Rafael had showed up at her apartment. 

“You’re welcome.” He noticed how Olivia tried to keep herself busy. He wanted to breach the subject of what had happened, but not when she was this uncomfortable. Besides he thought they had to talk without there being a chance of them being disturbed by Noah. 

“I’m sorry we kept you from your work. I know you’ve been busy with your case.” The case that had kept him away from her. Not that she blamed him for that. She just hadn’t realized how much she missed having him by her side. How much she relied on him. It kinda bugged her too. She had managed fine by herself for so long. It was hard on her to feel dependent. 

“I brought my briefcase with me so I can get some work done from here.”

Surprised, Olivia turned around. “You’re staying with us?” 

He smiled at her hopeful tone. He nodded. “Noah asked me to stay. He thought you had to go back to work.”

She actually had taken this day off weeks ago because Noah didn’t have to go to school today. Which was also why Lucy had the day off. She’d actually looked forward to be able to spend the day with Noah. The case they’d been working on this week had kind of thrown her for a loop and now all she wanted was to stay home and relax. But she couldn’t. She indeed had to go back to work. She ran a hand of her face. “Yes.” She sighed. “He’s right. I need to go back in.” The mere thought of going back made her tense up.

Rafael saw the change in her, saw her tense up, as soon as she started to talk about going back to work. He wanted to go to her, wanted to take that tension away, but it was clear from her crossed arms that she wanted the distance. Or maybe she needed it, but he didn’t like it. He was about to ignore her, when Noah ran back into the kitchen and up to him. 

“Look uncle Rafa.” Noah showed him their pictures full of pride.”These are for you.” 

Rafael tore his eyes away from Olivia and focused on Noah. The pictures were good and they made him smile. He had one favorite. Olivia had taken one where Noah was looking up at him with so much love in his eyes. “They’re great Noah.” He hugged the boy and kissed his head. 

Olivia watched how Noah put one of the pictures on the fridge. It was Rafael and Noah looking proudly into the camera while standing in that familiar Superman pose. She realized there was still one question she hadn’t asked Noah. “Why did you pick Superman shirts, Noah?” Noah wasn’t a real Superman fan. Sometimes he watched a cartoon with the superhero but that was it. 

Noah looked from his mother to his uncle Rafa and back to his mother. “Because uncle Rafa is Superman.” 

Olivia glanced over at Rafael who seemed to not want to meet her eyes. She didn’t know what Noah meant. “Because he puts the bad guys away?”

Noah shook his head. “You said so momma. When I’m scared or hurt and you can’t help, I have to find uncle Rafa because uncle Rafa is like Superman. He helps to keep us safe.” Proudly Noah smiled up at his mother. He’d done exactly what his mother had told him to do. 

Olivia felt Rafael’s eyes on her and wanted to run and hide. She felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. She remembered the conversation she’d had with Noah one night. He’d woken up from a nightmare and she’d tried to get him to calm down but he was worried what he had to do when he was scared and she wasn’t there. So she’d thought of the one person she always thought of when she was scared and who could make her feel safe. She’d told him to call his uncle Rafa because uncle Rafa was like Superman. It had settled her son down enough to get him to go back to sleep again and apparently it had stuck with him. 

“I got scared last night momma. You were crying and there were noises.” Noah explained some more. His voice was now softer afraid that he might have done something wrong. “I called uncle Rafa.” When it stayed silent he asked. “Are you mad, momma? Did I do something wrong?”

Olivia immediately went to her son, crouched down and pulled him into her arms. She kissed his temple. “No sweet boy, I’m not mad. You did great. I’m sorry I scared you.” And she was. She never wanted to frighten her son. She’d always been good at keeping her work and the horrors she saw away from him. Now she’d brought it home and she’d scared him. She held him close and she felt Noah’s small arms tighten around her.

“Uncle Rafa really is Superman.” Noah whispered in his mother’s ear. Though it was hardly a whisper and she was pretty sure their Superman heard every word. “I wasn’t scared anymore and he helped you too momma.”

“You did good, sweetheart.” Se said once more. She needed him to know that he did nothing wrong. She glanced over at Rafael who looked at her sheepishly. 

Rafael wanted to give the twin Bensons some privacy. He felt like he was intruding. He guessed Olivia thought he already had heard too much so he quietly left the kitchen. 

“Did you have a bad dream momma? Is that why you cried?” Noah mumbled against his mother’s neck.

“Something like that.” It was the easiest explanation for her son and in a way it was true. 

“Maybe uncle Rafa can stay with us?”

“What do you mean?”

“When I have a bad dream you cuddle with me and always make me feel better. Uncle Rafa made me feel better yesterday and you too. If uncle Rafa stays he can cuddle with you and make you feel better.”

Olivia was speechless. She couldn’t really argue with his logic. Plus cuddling with Rafael didn’t sound bad at all. “Uncle Rafa has his own home, Noah. He can’t stay with us.” 

Noah stayed silent after his mother’s words. “But he can still visit?” He finally asked.

“Of course. He’s always welcome.”

“And uncle Rafa will always help us and keep us safe?” Noah didn’t give his mother a chance to answer. He felt like this important question needed to be answered by his uncle Rafa and so he called for him.

At the sound of Noah calling his name Rafael quickly walked back into the kitchen. He was afraid something was wrong. “What’s wrong, Noah?”

“Momma says you can’t stay with us, but you will always help us and keep us safe, right uncle Rafa?”

Rafael was stuck on the words that he couldn’t stay with them. He didn’t understand. She hadn’t objected to him staying a few minutes ago. He looked at her, but unsurprisingly she avoided his eyes. Apparently he was taking too long to answer. Noah was now at his side tugging at his sleeve. 

“Right uncle Rafa?”

Rafael crouched down. “Right, amigo. I’ll always keep you and your mom safe.”

“And you’re going to stay with me today?”

Rafael stood back up again. He wasn’t really sure he was welcome anymore. Olivia understood his hesitance and answered for him. “Yes, but you have to be good because uncle Rafa needs to work so he can’t play with you all the time.”

“Okay.” Noah turned around and left the two adults alone. 

“Look, I can leave if you want?” Rafael started as soon as Noah was out of earshot. 

“No.” Olivia immediately said. “It’s not like that. He...” She wasn’t sure if she should tell him what her son had asked. 

Seeing her hesitance he quickly latched on to it. “He what?” 

“He asked if you could stay with us.”

“And you told him I couldn’t? I thought I..”

She interrupted him. “No.” She ran a hand through her hair. “He wanted you to stay on a more permanent basis.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He thought that if I got a nightmare again, which he thinks I had last night, you can...” She didn’t really have to tell him about the cuddling, did she? No, she didn’t. “You can help me again.” Is what she settled on. 

He wasn’t sure if she was really telling the truth, but felt like it wasn’t the time to question her about it. He decided it was probably best to change the subject. “Why don’t you stay home. Spend time with Noah, relax.” He knew she needed it.

She shook her head. “I can’t. This case...”

He knew he needed to question her wavering, otherwise she would retreat. “Tell me.” He stepped closer.

She hated the uncertainty she felt. On the one hand she wanted to confide in him, on the other hand she felt like she had to do this on her own. She couldn’t or shouldn’t be so reliant on him. She didn’t like that. When she felt his hand on her arm, she immediately shrugged it off. “I need to go.” 

“Liv.” He tried. He saw her struggling. “If it’s too much.”

“No.” She didn’t want him to finish that sentence. “I can do this. I need to do this.”

When she was like this, stubborn and defensive, there was no use in him objecting. Besides it wasn’t the time. Later he would return to this subject and he would push her. Fin hadn’t told him much about the case. He knew Fin was loyal to Olivia and he appreciated that loyalty. All he had said was that Olivia’s state of mind didn’t surprise him and that the case was a tough one for all of them. Of course he could have gotten more information if he had wanted to. There were other sources than Fin but he felt like he would have betrayed Olivia’s trust if he had done so. He couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to do that. “Okay. Just stay safe.” He watched her nod and leave. He followed her to the living room where she grabbed her coat and purse. 

“Be good for your uncle Rafa, sweetheart.” She kissed her son’s head and bid him goodbye. 

At the door, she glanced over her shoulder, catching Rafael’s eyes, seeing him and only him. Part of her yearned to go to him, to give into the comfort only he seemed to be able to give her. But she couldn’t. Others counted on her to be strong. She had to go. Just before she closed the door she heard his words.

“I’m here, Liv.”

TBC...


	8. A trip to the squad room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafel spends the day with Noah and gets a call from Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I still have no clue where this is going. I had this idea for this chapter and just wrote it. I hope you like it. Thanks fo the kudos, the comments and thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter.   
> The next update most likely take a bit longer because I need to write my fic for the Barson Secret Santa exchange.

Rafael was in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. His day with Noah had been good. He’d been able to get quite a lot done. Noah had occupied himself with a movie and later on with his Legos. Then he’d joined Rafael at the table to make some drawings for his mother. He’d send Olivia a couple of text messages during the day, but she hadn’t returned either of them. He wasn’t sure what to make of that. Now, after having eaten dinner with Noah and still no word from Olivia he got concerned. He wanted to call, but also didn’t want her to think he doubted her. He also considered calling Fin once more, but decided against him. Noah had asked about his mother a few times and Rafael had explained him his mother was busy at work.

He was staring at his phone willing it to ring when it suddenly did. It startled him. It was Fin and he was pretty sure that wasn’t a good sign. As to be expected Fin’s call was short and to the point. He was needed at the station to get Olivia. It didn’t lessen his worries at all. He and Noah walked into the station a short while later. Noah held his hand tightly. The boy was nervous even though Rafael had tried to reassure him that nothing was wrong with his mother. He looked around and spotted Rollins and Carisi at their desk both looking exhausted. He glanced at Olivia’s office and saw the shades were drawn which meant he couldn’t see if she was there. He walked with Noah to the break room.  
“Can you stay here for a moment while I check on your mom?”

“Okay uncle Rafa. Then we can go home?”

“Yes.”

“Momma will come home with us too?”

“I hope so. If you need anything, ask aunt Amanda or uncle Sonny, okay.” He left the break room and checked in with Amanda and Sonny asking them to keep an eye on Noah. After an affirmative nod from them he was about to walk to Olivia’s office when Fin called for him. He looked around and spotted him near the interrogation rooms. 

“Where is she?” Rafael asked. 

“Interrogation room. She’s been there for a while now.”

“What’s going on Fin?”

Fin rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I honestly don’t know. All I know is that she needs you.”

“And the case?”

“It’s done. Rollins and Carisi are finishing up the paperwork.”

“So I can take her home?”

“Yeah and make sure she takes a few days. We can handle it.”

“You all look exhausted.”

“Nothing that a few hours of sleep can’t fix. Liv needs more than that.” Fin turned away. He patted Rafael on the back before leaving him. 

At the interrogation room he took a moment to look at Olivia. She was sitting on one of the chairs, her back towards the door. She was bend forward, her elbows on her knees, head in his hands. He wondered how long she’d been in there. He quietly opened the door. She gave no indication that she’d heard him. He decided that his first priority was taking her home. They could talk later and this time he was going to make sure they were going to talk. 

He crouched down in front of her and gently put his hands on her knees. He tilted his head, hoping to catch her eyes. He wasn’t sure if she was aware of his presence. She certainly didn’t give any indication of it. “Liv.” He finally whispered after a moment of silence. Still there was no reaction. He cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. Gently he caressed her cheek with his thumb. It took a moment and her brown eyes finally focused on him. She didn’t have to say a word. The sense of defeat she felt was clear in her eyes. With her focus now on him he could still see that familiar Benson stubbornness. He was glad it was still there. He reluctantly lifted his hand from her cheek. Her light, and probably unintentional, whimper at the loss of contact secretly delighted him. He covered both her hands which she had in fists on her knees. “Time to go home.”

She shook her head. “I can’t. I..”

There was that stubbornness. “No.” And he really wasn’t going to accept any kind of objection. She was going to come home. His rather harsh tone had startled her and he immediately softened his tone. His thumbs caressed her hands until she finally uncurled them. It was then that he laced their fingers together. “Your squad can handle the paperwork. We’re going home. You’re going to cuddle with Noah and let me take care of you two.” She didn’t need to ask her next question. “Noah’s in the break room.”   
“He can’t see me like this. I don’t want him to worry.” Olivia whispered.

“And he wants to see you to know you’re all right.” He countered. He stood back up on his feet and in doing so lifted her to her feet. He wanted to pull her in his arms, wanting to give her the comfort she clearly needed but was refusing. Whether it was because she was at work and she didn’t want to show him any weakness, he didn’t know. When they were back home, he was going to take her in his arms. With one hand still holding hers, their fingers still laced, he led her out of the interrogation room. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her hair had fallen in front of her face, shielding her from the people around her. He guessed that it was what she preferred at the moment, not wanting to show anymore weakness. “Let’s get your stuff and go home.” 

In her office, he let go of her hand and helped her in her coat. After she grabbed her purse and keys, Rafael took her hand in his again and just liked before entwined their fingers. In the break room Noah immediately spotted his mother and ran up to her. Rafael expected Olivia to let go of his hand immediately, but she didn’t. She slowly let go, her fingers slowly slipping from his, before completely letting go and hugging her son. 

“Can we go home now, momma?”

“Yes.”

“Yes!” Noah cheered and hugged his mother tighter.

“Okay, Bensons. Let’s go home.” Rafael held one hand out to Noah who immediately grabbed it and the other to Olivia. After a moment of hesitance she slipped her hand into his. He held her eyes for a moment, before he turned, leading them both out of the squad room. 

Back at Olivia’s apartment Rafael had ushered Olivia and Noah to their bedrooms. Both protested heavily. Noah because he wanted to stay with his mother and Olivia because she insisted she wasn’t tired. He compromised. They both had to get ready for bed and they could cuddle and spend some time together in Olivia’s bed. It was a compromise both agreed with though Olivia was hesitant. He understood why. “If he falls asleep, I’ll carry him to his own bed, okay?” He knew she was worried about nightmares. A tiny smile appeared on her face. She appreciated how well he knew her and was able to reassure her. Noah returned a short while later and jumped on the bed. He’d brought one of his book so his mother could read to him. Cuddled together and realizing they were both all right Rafael left the bedroom to give them some time alone together. 

Spending time with her son was exactly what she needed. It made her push away the dark thoughts and focus solely on her son. Noah told her about the day he’d spend with his Uncle Rafa. Then she read him his book. It was a book about animals. Noah thought it was important he knew what kind of animals he could expect at the zoo. After that she cuddled with her son and for the first time in days she felt a bit of the tension leaving her. She took a deep breath and hugged Noah close.

“Momma.” Noah said after a brief silence.

“Mmm..” Olivia hummed. “Yes sweetheart.”

Noah looked around for a moment before whispering to his mother, as if it was a secret. “I think uncle Rafa really is Superman.”

“Really?”

Noah nodded and explained. “He got you from work because you needed help momma and Superman always knows when people need his help. Uncle Rafa always knows when we need help. And he helps other people too because he knows they need his help too.” He smiled proudly at his mother. 

She was pretty sure his sudden appearance at her office had more to do with someone calling him than it had anything to do with super powers. But she liked the idea of Rafael being Superman to her son. She loved how much he adored his uncle Rafa. She ruffled his hair and whispered just like him. “I think you’re right sweetheart.”

“We can’t tell him we know.” Noah’s tone was serious. “It’s a secret.”

She nodded and looked as serious as Noah. “It’ll be our secret, okay.”

He hugged her and kissed her cheek and put his head on her shoulder. “Nigh, momma.”

“Night, sweetheart. I love you.” She caressed his hair until she felt his breath even out and she knew he was asleep. 

TBC....


	9. Time for some lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Noah bring Rafael lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be more a transition chapter. I needed to move things along a bit. But there are still some nice moments, or at least I think they’re nice. I still have no clue as to where this story is going. I like the idea of Rafael taking care of Olivia and Noah and I feel like Olivia needs Rafael’s closeness but is reluctant to give in to that. Anyway, I hope you like it. To all who read, left kudos and comments, thank you. I really appreciate it.

He wanted to give Olivia and Noah the time they needed together. Noah because he needed to reassure himself that his mother was with him and that she was okay. And Olivia because she needed her son to reassure her that he was with her and to feel his love to push away all she felt at the moment. He looked at his watch. An hour had passed already. He wanted Noah to sleep his own bed. He was worried what would happen if Olivia would have another nightmare. Softly he opened the bedroom door and padded into her bedroom. His two Bensons were fast asleep and he stopped to just look at them. Noah was cuddled into his mother’s side and Olivia had her arm wrapped securely around her son. 

Not for the first time since Noah had called him was he struck by the love he felt for the two. It had always been there, but this all brought it to the surface, almost making it bubble over when before it was a mere shimmering. A mere shimmer he’d tried to stop from rising because he simply wasn’t sure that if he were to risk it all by telling Olivia how deeply in love he was with her, she would welcome his feelings. He was pretty sure she wasn’t going to truly reject him, but was she as invested as he was? Plus Olivia had so much more to take into consideration. Or better said, one important person, her son who would always come first. He felt like he had to thread carefully and he had though to be honest his carefulness had turned into him becoming a coward. Every time there was even a slight opening or a clear opening to try to get closer to Olivia he either quickly changed the subject or backed away. His imagination played tricks on him because sometimes he thought he saw disappointment in her eyes. He yearned for her, yearned to be worthy of her love, worthy of both her and Noah. He also wanted to crawl into bed with them, hold them both in his arms and keep them safe. 

He shook his head. He had to stop day dreaming. He walked up to the bed and gently lifted Noah up into his arms. When Olivia moved he paused. He hoped he didn’t wake her, but he had. 

“Noah?” Olivia mumbled sleepily, her eyes barely opening. She was so exhausted. 

“I’ve got him, Liv.” He whispered.

“Kay.” She couldn’t keep her eyes open and quickly fell asleep again.

Seeing she was fast asleep again he left her. With Noah in his arms he brought the boy to his own bedroom. He gently put him into bed and pulled the covers over him. Noah stirred lightly but didn’t wake up. He caressed the boy’s hair and kissed his head. “Sweet dreams mi dulce niño.” 

Back in the living room, Rafael grabbed his brief case and coat. He was reluctant to leave Olivia and Noah alone. He also felt like he shouldn’t outstay his welcome. Olivia was back home. He was pretty sure she was so exhausted she would sleep through the night. And if Olivia did so would Noah. He knew they needed time alone together. Tomorrow he would call her and ask her if she needed him. He hoped she would tell him what had been causing so much pain. If she wouldn’t he would give her some time but if needed he would push her.

Olivia woke up the following morning feeling slightly better. She’d finally had a good night sleep. After showering and getting dressed she checked in on Noah who was still fast sleep with Eddie clutched against his chest. She was glad the case was over, glad to be at home with her son and she should feel better. But here she was sitting alone in her living room and she missed Rafael. She wanted to call him. She couldn’t though. She’d kept him from work already and she couldn’t do that again. Just as she was about to cave in and reach for her phone, Noah ran out and joined her on the couch. 

It was after breakfast and Noah was coloring when he looked up. “Can we go and visit uncle Rafa?” Noah asked. “We can bring him some cookies.” After breakfast they’d baked cookies. Something they didn’t do often but both when they did they both enjoyed it.

“Sure.”

“Can we go now?” 

She hesitated. “I don’t know. Uncle Rafa has to work.”

“Let’s go there.”

“Okay, but we need to let him work. So we’ll just drop these off.”

On their way to Rafael’s office they bought lunch for all three of them. Noah had insisted and Olivia really didn’t feel like objecting. However when they arrived at his office it was clear no one was there. There were no lights on and the door was locked. Noah tried the door several times, but to no effect. He turned towards his mother, disappointment obvious in his eyes. 

“Where’s uncle Rafa? You said he was working.”

“I guess he had somewhere else to be.” She was just as disappointed as her son. “Let’s go home, sweetheart.” 

On their way back home Olivia gave the taxi driver a change of address. Noah was still sulking that he couldn’t give his uncle Rafa the cookies they’d baked. After all that had happened she really wanted to cheer him up. She hoped Rafael was home. 

When they walked into the apartment building Noah started to recognize it. He got excited and practically dragged her into the elevator. Impatiently he read the numbers out loud till they got to Rafael’s floor where he once again grabbed her hand and dragged her to the Rafael’s front door. 

Rafael grumbled a bit, annoyed by the sound of the door bell and the fact that someone was disturbing him. He had his kitchen table full with files, pictures and his notebook. He really needed to be prepared for his case. So with a rather annoyed expression on his face he opened the door and that expression immediately vanished. 

“Liv.” He smiled. It was good to see her. Every so often, while working on the preparations on his case, his mind had wandered to her. Wondering if she was okay, if she’d had slept and even thinking if she was thinking about him. He’d thought about going to visit them after he’d finished his preparations. 

“Uncle Rafa!” Noah greeted the man and grabbed his hand. 

Olivia glanced at her son before meeting Rafael’s green eyes. “Hi.” She finally greeted him softly. She had this urge to close the distance between them and have him wrap his arms around her. She’d been yearning his closeness ever since waking up. She guessed it was because she still felt unsettled and his presence, his scent, just knowing he was there with here, calmed her down. 

“Liv?” Rafael asked when she kept silent.

“You..euh.” She shook her head and started again. “You weren’t at your office.”

“No. People kept walking in and out of the office disturbing me and I really needed to focus on the case.”

Olivia immediately felt guilty. She’d been the one who’d kept him from his job and now she was disturbing him again. “Right.” She hesitated for a moment and glanced at the bag in her hand. 

“We brought you lunch, uncle Rafa.” Noah grinned. “And we baked cookies!” He said proudly. 

“Uncle Rafa is really busy Noah. We shouldn’t disturb him.” She caressed her son’s hair when she saw his sad eyes.

“I’m never too busy for my two favorite people.” He said when he realized that Olivia wasn’t going to ask if they could have lunch together. He took the bag from her hand. “Come on in. Lead the way, Noah.” He watched how the little boy immediately let go of his hand and ran inside. With her son now in his apartment he knew Olivia would follow. 

“Are you sure?” She asked him. She really didn’t want them to be a burden.

“Always.” He whispered. “Besides, you know me. I can never resist cookies and the company of my two favorite people.” He smiled and was glad when she finally nodded and stepped inside. He helped her with her coat and with his hand on the small of her back he led her to his living room. Suddenly he realized all his files, including the pictures, of the case he was working on were strewn across his kitchen table and they really weren’t something Noah needed to see. “Shit.” He mumbled. He was glad to see Noah had made himself comfortable on his couch and was waiting patiently for them both. 

“What’s wrong?” Olivia had heard his soft curse. 

He leaned in, his hand was once again on the small of her back. “The pictures of the case are on the kitchen table. I don’t want Noah to see them. I’m going to put the files back together and then I’ll be back to join you.”

“I could help?”

“No. Sit, smile, relax.” He told her and gently pushed her towards the couch. “You want a coffee?” 

“Look,” She tried once more. “we can go if you’re too busy. I know we’ve already taken up too much of your time these last couple of days.”

He glanced over at Noah, who was busy with a toy car he’d brought with him. He slid his hand from the small of her back to her hip, giving her a gently squeeze. He leaned in, angled his head to the side to catch her eyes. When her eyes settled on his after a few seconds he knew he had her attention. “Stay. I’m happy you’re here. You and Noah are always welcome.” He smiled when she nodded before almost shyly looking away from him. “I’ll be right back.” He said softly before stepping away from her.

He was busy in the kitchen, piling up the files, when Noah appeared. “Uncle Rafa?”

“Si, mi amigo.” When Noah didn’t say anything more Rafael turned and looked at him. He walked up to him and crouched down so he was at eye level with him. “What’s up, buddy?”

“I really like it when you spend time with us.” Noah admitted shyly. 

“I like spending time with you too.”

“Maybe you can spend more time with us?”

“Maybe.” Because he really couldn’t make the boy any promises. It seemed as if the boy had another question on his mind. Rafael waited patiently. He smiled when Noah reached out and touched his sweater sleeve, pulling at it a little bit. 

“Can you come with us to the zoo? I really want you to come with us.” 

He’d be delighted if he could join them, but he couldn’t. There was still so much work to do. Besides Olivia and Noah needed to really spend some time together and he really didn’t want to encroach on that time. And he didn’t know if Olivia would want him there. “I can’t, Noah.” He saw the immediate disappointment. “We’ll go together some other time.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” He was glad the disappointment was gone. “How about you bring the bag with the lunch and cookies back to me and we’ll get everything ready. Give your mom some time to relax.”

“Okay, uncle Rafa.” Noah hurried out of the kitchen and left a smiling Rafael behind. His apartment was always so quiet and when there was work to be done, the quiet was useful. This though the sounds of Noah and Olivia in his home, this was so much better. 

TBC...


	10. An invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael invites Noah and Olivia for dinner and a movie. Olivia hesitates. Rafael puts his cards on the table and Olivia’s reaction disappoints him. And there’s a small kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting the new year with a new chapter. Things are finally moving a bit forward between Rafael and Olivia. I hope you like it. Thank you for reading, the kudos and the comments. They brighten my day.

She didn’t quite know what was going on with Rafael. He was very tactile with her. It seemed whenever the opportunity arose he would either touch her back, her shoulder or her hand. Just brief, slight touches, but she noticed. She noticed because this was new for them and even more so she noticed because it was as if he knew she craved his touch, the comfort that it gave her. 

“What do you think, Liv?”

She’d just finished the last bite of her lunch and hadn’t really been paying attention to the conversation. She’d been lost in thought. Now there were two sets of eyes looking expectantly at her. “About what?” 

“Meeting up tomorrow after your visit to the zoo and go get something to eat and go to a movie.” 

Before she could answer her son piped in.

“And we can have a sleepover uncle Rafa said. Can we momma?”

She looked from her son’s expectant eyes to Rafael’s green ones who were looking just as expectantly at her. “I don’t know.” She started.

“Come on, mom. It’ll be awesome.”

“Look, your uncle Rafa is busy. We can’t take up his time like that. Maybe some other time, okay?” 

“But..” Noah started to protest.

“Please, Noah...” She pleaded with him. She knew how busy Rafael was. She hadn’t heard their conversation which had led to this invitation and wondered if her son had maybe persuaded Rafael. She knew how difficult it was to say no to her son when he looked at you with those big, pleading eyes. 

“Okay, momma.” Noah sulked. He pushed his empty plate away and crossed his arms. 

Olivia sighed. She hated letting Noah down, but he needed to also learn that they couldn’t impose on someone’s time like that. “We’ll go some other time.” She promised him.

Rafael had kept silent during Olivia and Noah’s conversation. It wasn’t his place to interfere, but he wasn’t going to let this slide either. “Noah, can you give your mom and I a moment?” 

“Can I watch TV?” He looked from his mother to his uncle Rafa.  


Rafael nodded. “For a little while.” Rafael took the plates from the kitchen table and placed them on the counter. Turning around he leaned back against the kitchen counter and looked at Olivia. He liked having her and Noah in his home. The previous times she’d been here, which hadn’t been often, had been work related. This time, it wasn’t and it felt different. Or maybe that was because he felt different. 

“Thanks for your invitation, but I know you’re busy. You don’t need to feel obligated to entertain us. I’m okay, you know.” Olivia stated a bit defensively. She felt his eyes on her.

He doubted she was okay. He knew she wasn’t okay. He was going to let that one slide because this wasn’t the time to talk about it. “It’s no obligation.” She needed to know that. More importantly he wanted her to know he wanted to spend time with them. “Let me take you two out.” Finally she looked at him. Now that he had her attention it was time to put his cards on the table. “I’ve missed you, Liv. I like spending time with you and Noah and I’d like to do that tomorrow too. That is if you would like that too.” 

His words left her speechless. She’d missed him too. She took her time to really look at him. She got lost in his eyes. He’d never looked at her like that, so open, unguarded and soft. Both of them were always guarded, maybe less so when it was just the two of them, but still there were carefully constructed walls. 

He interpreted her silence as a rejection. “It’s okay to say no. I don’t want to encroach on your time with Noah.” He crossed his arms. An obvious defensive gesture, closing himself off again. It wasn’t often that he bared his soul like that and now that he had, it hurt that she didn’t even acknowledge it. It wasn’t that he wanted a declaration of love from her, he had just hoped that she’d at least missed him too.

She ran her hand through her hair. She knew she’d taken too long to answer. She glanced over at him. Gone was the openness and it was her fault. “It’s not that.”

“Then what?” He tried once more. “Let me take you two to dinner and a movie.” It dawned on him then. Maybe she was reluctant because she didn’t want to spend time with him. “Or I can just take Noah and you can have a nice evening on your own to relax.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to be alone.”

He knew those words held so much more meaning. He wanted to reassure her that she wasn’t alone. That he was here, right here for her if she would only let him.

“You’ve gone above and beyond already. It’s not your job to take care of us. You’re busy enough already with your case.” 

“Yes, I’ve been busy. I need to go over some statements tomorrow and then I’ll be ready for court on Monday. As a celebration, let’s go out. Like I said, I would like to spend time with the both of you.”

“Okay then.” 

Rafael grinned. Glad that she’d agreed. “Come on.” He said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go find your boy. I want to try those cookies.” He waited for her to get up and then took her hand in his, leading her to his living room. 

After enjoying some more time together it was time for Noah and Olivia to go. Noah had been bouncing on his feet when Rafael had told him they would have dinner together and go to the movies. The boy had jumped in his arms. 

At the door Rafael crouched. “I’ll see you tomorrow, mi niño.” He hugged the boy close when he wrapped his little arms around his neck. 

“You’re the best uncle Rafa.” Noah whispered in the man’s ear. “See you tomorrow.” He kissed his uncle’s cheek.

“Be good for your Mami.” He kissed Noah’s hair. 

“I will.” 

Rafael smiled and ruffled Noah’s curly hair and stood up again. His eyes settled on Olivia’s. He was happy to see a small smile on her face. Her eyes still held some darkness which he wanted to take away from her. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.” They’d agreed Rafael would meet up with them at the restaurant. She didn’t know why but she suddenly felt somewhat shy under his watchful eyes. 

He briefly took her hand in his. “Call me if you need me, Liv.” Seeing her affirmative nod, he decided to take a chance. He leaned in and kissed her cheek softly. The blush that appeared on her cheek afterwards delighted him.

“Bye, Rafa.” His kiss was unexpected but not unwelcome. It did make her feel shy. She took Noah’s hand and with a final look at her friend, she quickly left.

TBC...


	11. Love and kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are presents for Rafael. Noah’s logic is sound. Olivia finds out Rafael talks about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I thank you for the comments, kudos and reading this fic. It gives me much joy that you keep reading.   
> Finally the mood is more relaxed and there’s more teasing between Rafael and Olivia. This will continue because I don’t want this fic to get too heavy. Also I want there to be more closeness between them. So that’s what will continue as their day progresses. I hope you enjoy that.

Her day with Noah at the zoo had been great. They’d gone and visited Rafael at the start of their day, dropping off their bags for the sleepover Noah was very excited about. At the zoo they’d taken their time to make sure they saw as many animals as possible. Noah had spend a lot of time at the elephant enclosure. There had been a baby elephant and Noah wanted to stay. Olivia had persuaded him to leave the enclosure by promising they’d visit them again at the end of the day. At the gift shop they’d bought Rafael a gift. Noah had picked it out. She’d also let Noah pick out a gift for himself. And as promised on their way back they’d once more visited the elephants. Once again reluctantly Noah left the elephants. At the exit of the zoo there was the possibility to take a picture with the zoo mascot. She was about to decline when her son pleaded with her to have their picture taken to give it to uncle Rafa. After doing so another trip to the gift shop was necessary so the picture could be put in a frame. 

Now here they were on a bench waiting at the agreed upon place for Rafael. Noah kept eagerly looking around to try and spot Rafael first. He suddenly turned towards her. 

“Momma, do you like uncle Rafa?”

“Of course I do.” She replied easily. She wasn’t really sure where this question was coming from.

“I do too.” Noah swung his feet back and forth and was quiet for a moment. “Uncle Rafa kissed you.” 

She hadn’t forgotten about that. That evening, at home, she’d still felt his lips on her cheek. She’d felt like a foolish teenage girl. She waited for Noah to continue. She was curious. 

“I think uncle Rafa loves you.”

“Why do you say that?” She smiled at his confident tone. 

“Because you give kisses to people you love.” 

She really couldn’t argue with that logic. “That’s true, sweetheart.”

“Do you love uncle Rafa too, momma?” Noah didn’t give his mother a chance to reply. “Then you have to kiss him too.”

She didn’t know what to say to that and she was glad she didn’t have too. Noah jumped from the bench because he’d spotted the man they’d been waiting for.

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah waved and ran towards him. He hugged his legs as soon as he was within reach.

“Hey, Noah. How was the zoo?”

“Great!” Noah immediately started to fill the man in on all he’d seen. 

“Wait a minute, Noah. Let me greet your Mami. Then we’ll go inside and you can tell me all about it.” With Noah’s hand in his Rafael and Noah joined Olivia again. He was happy to see that burden she’d carried the previous days wasn’t there anymore. She looked well rested and happy. She was dressed casual in a well worn pair of well fitted jeans that hugged her curves, pair of white sneakers, a light blue sweater and a camel colored jacket. She looked beautiful. He wanted to step closer, brush her lips with his and hold her close. What he settled on instead was a greeting. “Good day?”

“Great day.” She smiled. She was happy to see him again. She noticed Rafael hadn’t shaved and she liked the casual look. 

“Can we eat now?” Noah asked looking up from his mother to his uncle Rafa. He didn’t know why they kept looking at each other without talking. 

Startled Rafael turned to Noah. “Of course. Let’s go, shall we?” The small restaurant he’d picked was a family run Cuban restaurant. The food was good and he knew both Olivia and Noah would feel comfortable. 

“Rafi.” An older woman with grey curly hair and gentle eyes immediately greeted him with a big hug. Before he could greet her a tall, equally grey man greeted him also with a hug. 

“Tia Mila, tio Luis.” He greeted them both. 

“It’s been too long, Rafi.” Mila reprimanded him, pushing against his shoulder for emphasis.

“I know. I’ve been busy.” He felt contrite. 

“You work too hard, Rafi.”

To avoid the familiar lecture he was about to get about working too hard he turned her attention to his company. “Tia Mila this is Olivia Benson and her son Noah.” He then turned to both Bensons. “Olivia and Noah, this is tia Mila and tio Luis. They are the proud owners of this wonderful little restaurant.”

“You brought Olivia and Noah?” Mila exclaimed. The familiarity of how she said their names didn’t go unnoticed by Olivia nor did Rafael’s wince at Mila’s words. “It’s so good to finally meet you.” She gave Olivia a big hug. “Rafi talks about you all the time.”

Luis was a little less exuberant than his wife. He saw how uncomfortable Rafael felt. His wife meant well. He put his hands on her shoulder. “How about we leave them alone so they can settle down and enjoy a nice, quiet dinner.”

“Of course, of course.” She squeezed Rafael’s shoulder. “Say hi to your Mami for me.”

“I will.” Rafael shot Luis a grateful look. He led the Bensons to a booth seat at the far corner of the restaurant. 

“So...” Olivia begun after a moment of silence. She really wasn’t going to let this one slide. “You come here often?” 

“Yes.” He saw the glint in her eyes. He glared at her.

“Ooh no, mister. That doesn’t work on me.” That glare had never deterred her. She deliberately kept quiet, knowing it would get to him, but she held eye contact. She knew she didn’t have to say a word.

“Okay, so I talk about you and Noah.” He admitted and looked away. He knew she was an excellent interrogator and he was glad been he’d never been interrogated by her. He’d crumbled from a mere look. He wondered what he would admit to if she truly interrogated him, He quickly changed the subject. Noah was sitting next to him and he knew he wanted to tell him all about his day at the zoo. “Tell me about the zoo, Noah.” 

Noah’s words were only interrupted by Rafael ordering food for them. What Noah wanted most was to give Rafael the presents they’d bought. “Can we give the presents now?” 

“Presents?” Rafael glanced from Noah to Olivia. 

Olivia slid the bag with the gifts over the table to Noah. “Be careful.”

Noah nodded. With the tip of his tongue out of his mouth he carefully lifted the wrapped gift from the bag and handed it to the man next to him. “I picked it out for you.” He proudly said. “It’s for on your desk.”

Rafael slowly removed the wrapping paper. The box gave him no clues as to what it was. Lifting the lid he lifted the present from its box. It was a water globe with an elephant family inside, a baby elephant with its mother. “It’s beautiful Noah.” 

“Look.” Noah took the globe for a moment and shook it. The glitter confetti was swirling through the globe now and a tune had started. “Now you have an Eddie too.” 

“It’s great. I’m going to put it in my desk. Thank you mi amigo.” He pulled Noah against his side and kissed his head. He shook the globe once more so they could watch the glitters swirl and listen to the music again. 

Olivia smiled at the two men. She’d tried to convince Noah to buy something else for his uncle Rafa but Noah had insisted and it seemed that he’d made the right choice. “You wanna give your other present?”

“Another one?” 

“It’s also for your desk.”

“I’m going to have to make space on my desk.”

“Ooh.” Noah thought for a moment. “I think you can put it somewhere else too.” 

Rafael quickly opened the second present. The picture frame with drawings of elephants on it was lovely but the picture inside, that one delighted him. Noah and Olivia were both looking at the camera and smiling brightly. Both looking beautiful. Between them was the zoo mascot, a polar bear. “I’d love to put this one my desk, Noah.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” He hugged him once more. “Thank you.”

TBC...


	12. Desserts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for desserts. Rafael shares with Olivia and Noah shares with Olivia and Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that in my previous fic (with Coco’s help) Olivia and Noah stayed over at Rafael’s place too. I’d forgotten about that and realized that I need to be careful that I won’t do anything too similar. Because of that I’m not sure yet what is going to happen.   
> Again I thank you all who are reading, giving kudos and commenting. I really enjoy that. I hope you continue to enjoy this one. I know I still enjoy writing it.   
> This time a shorter chapter and nothing too much happens. I hope you don’t mind.

Dinner had been wonderful. Noah had surprised her by eating his plate clean. He usually wasn’t one to try something he didn’t know. Rafael had picked something for him that was a big success. Olivia had enjoyed her own meal just as much. They talked about the day at the zoo. Olivia showed Rafael the photos she’d taken. Half way through dinner Noah had switched sides wanting to sit next to his mother. At the end of the dinner Noah was leaning heavily against her side. “You tired, my sweet boy?” Olivia asked him, running her hand over his hair. She felt him shake her head. She glanced over at Rafael. She knew he wanted to take them to the movies. Maybe another time was a better idea. “How about we watch a movie at home?” She suggested to her son. “We can go to the movies with uncle Rafa some other time.”

“But you promised a sleepover.” Noah pouted thinking his mother suggested they were going home. 

Rafael had the same idea as Noah, thinking Noah and Olivia were going to stay at his place. It was clear Noah was tired and if they were to go to the movies he most likely would fall asleep. Surely that didn’t mean they couldn’t stay at his place. Maybe it was too much too soon. 

“We’re still going to uncle Rafa’s.” Olivia clarified. She didn’t understand where the confusion was coming from. “We’ll watch a movie there. What do you think?” 

“Do you have movies uncle Rafa?” Noah wanted to check to be sure. 

“I’m sure we can find something we can watch. Maybe even a super hero movie.” He winked at Noah. 

“Can we go now?” 

“What about dessert?” Olivia asked her son. She knew how much he loved dessert. And on the other side of the table was someone else who also loved dessert. 

“There’s always time for dessert, right Noah?”

“Ice cream.” Noah grinned. “What about you momma?” 

“Mmm... I really shouldn’t.” She padded her stomach. “I can’t eat another bite.”

“How about we share?” Rafael suggested. Happy that she agreed Rafael ordered their desserts. A short while later, in which Rafael had joined Noah in coloring, the desserts arrived. Noah immediately started on his ice creams, happy there were sprinkles on them. For Olivia and Rafael a grand dessert arrived, on it several smaller desserts giving them a chance to have a little taste of everything. Olivia smiled when she saw Rafael lick his lips in delight. He had such a sweet tooth. He looked at her, nodding for her to go first. She shook her head.

“I know better than to stand between you and your dessert. You go first.”

Which Rafael immediately did. Luis had prepared his favorites and he had a hard time resisting them. He scooped up a full spoon of the first dessert and closed his eyes as he tasted it. Luis was a master in desserts. “Mmm..” He hummed in delight. “You have to taste this, Liv.” He scooped up another spoon full and held it out for her. “It’s delicious.”

He watched Olivia lean forward and just before she took the bite she licked her lips. Rafael swallowed. Maybe this wasn’t his best idea and he should have just pushed the plate towards her instead up holding the spoon out to her. He watched her close her eyes and taste. Her hum of delight surely wasn’t meant to sound sexy. “It’s arroz con leche.” He said, his voice a bit rougher than usual. 

“It’s delicious.” She liked it so much she grabbed her own spoon and took some more. 

And again Rafael watched, or maybe better said, stared at Olivia, entranced by how she took another bite. This time she even licked the spoon clean causing him to let out a small whimper which he quickly covered with a cough. He took a drink before tasting one of the other treats. 

“Momma, you want to taste my ice cream too? It’s really good.” He held out a spoon with some ice cream to his mother, just like he’d seen his uncle Rafa do.

“I’d love too, my sweet boy.” After tasting the ice cream she agreed with her son. “That is really good.”

Noah turned to the man opposite to him. “You want a bite too, uncle Rafa?” He held out the spoon.

Just like his mother, Rafael took a bite. The rest of the dessert was shared between Rafael and Olivia, with Noah sometimes asking for a bite too. After Rafael payed the check Olivia helped her son into her coat. They put Rafael’s presents back into the bag with Noah telling them that they had to be really careful with it. Rafael helped Olivia with her coat his hands lingering on her shoulders before grabbing his own.

Mila and Luis had left them alone during dinner, but now were back to say goodbye. Luis padded Rafael’s back telling him to come back soon. Mila turned towards Olivia surprising her by pulling her into a hug. 

“It’s so good to see Rafi so happy. You’re good for him Olivia.” She squeezed Olivia’s arm.

“Thank you.” Was all Olivia said. She didn’t know how to respond. She glanced over at Rafael who was still talking to Luis. Luis had his arm around his shoulder and it looked like they were talking about more than just pleasantries. By the way Rafael was looking at the older man she knew he had Rafael’s complete attention. 

Mila joined her husband and Rafael and Mila pulled Rafael into a hug. “Don’t let her go, Rafi.” She whispered.

Rafael glanced over at Olivia hoping she hadn’t heard Mila’s words. She hadn’t. She was in conversation with Luis. After promising that they would come back some time soon Rafael, Olivia and Noah said their goodbyes. 

On their way back to Rafael’s apartment, in the back of the cab, Olivia asked him about Luis and Mila. She’d seen how deeply they cared for him.

“Mila and Luis they lived in our neighborhood when I was young. I..” He hesitated briefly, searching for the right words. “Their home as well as their restaurant became my sanctuary.” He glanced over at Noah to see if he was paying attention to their conversation. He wasn’t and he was happy about it. He didn’t want Noah to know about his childhood struggles. “They were always there for me. I looked up to Luis. He was more of a father to me than my own father ever was.” He looked out the window. “They were safe.”

TBC...


	13. Onesies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Noah have some rules when it comes to a movie night at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rafael was back on last night’s SVU. Olivia and Rafael clearly kept in contact since his departure. They are still part of each other’s lives and they still meet up. That was all I wished for when I thought about a possible return of Rafael at the beginning of this season. And now, to have it happen and to have that wonderful Barson moment. Yeah.. I love this ship. And how adorable was he wanting to be the first to congratulate her. That little shrug, a bit shy, but smiling brightly too. I loved it!
> 
> Again I thank everyone who keeps reading, leaving kudos and comments. Thank you so much. I hope you continue to enjoy this one. This chapter is just some silliness and Rafael and Olivia checking each other out.

Back at Rafael’s apartment three of them settled down on the couch to watch the movie. Noah suddenly turned to his mother and whispered something in her ear. Olivia’s answer was also whispered. Rafael watched them in wonder. Then both sets of Bensons eyes turned toward him. Olivia nudged her son and nodded for him to say what he wanted. 

“Pajama party.” Noah exclaimed.

Rafael looked from Noah to Olivia and back to Noah again. “Pajama party?”

Olivia nodded solemnly. “It’s mandatory. Movie night means pajamas and snuggling on the couch. Just because we’re at your place doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply.”

He wasn’t opposed to the idea of snuggling up on his couch with the both of them. It was the perfect evening in his opinion. For a brief moment his mind wandered to Olivia’s choice in pajamas. He shook his head. He couldn’t go there, that was dangerous territory, especially with Noah present. 

Noah saw him shake his head thinking his uncle Rafa didn’t want to join their pajama party. “Why not uncle Rafa?” He pouted.

“Yes, uncle Rafa, why don’t you want to have a pajama party with us?” She pouted just like her son. She then turned to her son and whispered in his ear making him giggle. 

Rafael watched the two with squinted eyes. What were they giggling about? He was about to find out.

“Momma says maybe you don’t have any pajamas.” Noah couldn’t stop giggling. He thought the idea was too funny. “I brought my dinosaur onesie and momma got one too.” 

That image of Olivia in a onesie was now stuck in his brain. “You..” He tried to formulate a sentence. “You’ve got a dinosaur onesie?” He finally managed to say to Olivia, Noah for the moment completely forgotten. 

Her smile was big and bright. “No.” His obvious discomfort made her laugh. “But I do have a onesie.” She stood up and helped Noah up on his feet. “Let’s go change into our onesies Noah.”

“What about uncle Rafa?” He kept his eyes on the man. They couldn’t have their pajama party if uncle Rafa didn’t have any pajamas. 

“I don’t have a onesie, but I do have pajamas.” Rafael got up on his feet too. 

“We need to buy uncle Rafa a Superman onesie, don’t we Noah?” She addressed her son. 

“Yes.” Noah cheered. “I want one too, Momma.”

“We’ll see, okay? First we need to change.” Together they walked through the living room to the hall way to their respective bedrooms. Olivia and Noah were at the guest bedroom, which was opposite to Rafael’s master bedroom. “First one out gets to choose the movie.” Olivia challenged and Noah immediately pulled her into the bedroom. 

“Challenge accepted.” Rafael called out to them.

It was Noah who won. Olivia had helped him and he’d immediately run to the living room and jumped on the couch yelling that he’d won. Olivia, not dressed yet in her onesie, watched her son jump up and down for a moment and smiled. “Be careful, my sweet boy.” She leaned against the wall with her shoulder, her arms crossed in front of her. She heard a door close behind her. “You lost.” She pointed out to him.

“I won.” Noah cheered. 

Rafael looked Olivia up and down, disappointed she wasn’t wearing her onesie yet. “I bet you have something to do with that.” He murmured. He let his hand slide from the small of her back to her waist as he walked up to her. He kept his hand on her waist as he stood beside her and they both watched Noah. 

“Do you like my dinosaur pajamas, uncle Rafa?”

“I do.” The fleece jumpsuit was dark green with bright green on the belly. It had a tail which was tipped with bright green spikes. The hood had the eyes, teeth and the same bright green spikes as on the tail. 

“Do you want one too? We can both be dinosaurs.” 

Olivia gave herself a moment to look at Rafael no longer listening to Noah and Rafael. She’d wondered about his pajamas since Noah had whispered to her that they needed to put their pajamas on. She’d also wondered if maybe Rafael didn’t wear any pajamas and he maybe slept in his boxers. With her son near she quickly let go of that thought. She looked Rafael up and down. He was wearing royal blue plaid checkered flannel pajama pants. His feet were bare. And his chest was covered with a white undershirt that showed off his broad chest and shoulders. She licked her lips. Noah’s pajama party idea was a real good one. 

“You’re not wearing your onesie yet.” Rafael bumped his shoulder against her. His hand was no longer on her waist. He didn’t want to cross any boundaries, boundaries that he was still trying to determine where they exactly lay. 

“You disappointed?” She teased him.

“Not unless you changed your plans.” 

She was silent for a moment. “No, I haven’t.” She smiled at her Noah. She loved seeing him this happy and carefree. She knew Rafael was a big reason for that. “Thank you, Rafa.” She struggled to find the words to let him know how thankful she was. “I...” She sighed and hung her head. She reached for his hand and played with his fingers for a few seconds.

Before either could say another word Noah announced he was ready for the movie. “Uncle Rafa, you gotta help me find the movie.”

Reluctantly Rafael focused his attention on Noah. He wanted to know what Olivia was about to say. “You go change and I’ll go help him find the right movie.”

“Impatient huh.” 

“Who? Me or Noah?”

“Both.” She laughed. “Be right back.” She squeezed his hand before slowly letting go.

Rafael watched her walk into the guest bedroom and he couldn’t help wanting her to turn towards his bedroom. Nor could he help the overwhelming feeling that he didn’t want this to be a one time occurrence. He wanted them both in his home, he wanted to be their home. If only they would let him, if Olivia would let him. He just needed to figure out how she felt about him. 

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah was at his side. 

Rafael tore his eyes away from the door. “Let’s go pick out the movie.”

With everything ready to watch the movie Noah and Rafael waited for Olivia. Noah still was missing one item. “We need a blanket.”

“A blanket?” 

“Yes, Rafael. A blanket is a necessity.” Now dressed in her onesie Olivia was back in the living room.

Rafael’s head whipped around at the sound of Olivia’s voice. He swallowed thickly at the sight of her. She was wearing a grey fleece onesie that looked far too good on her. Keeping his eyes on her as she got closer he noticed her onesie was coffee themed. It had all different kinds of coffee related items on it like cups, grinders and beans. He’d always been a big coffee fan or maybe even somewhat of an addict, but this was coffee in a entirely different way. He preferred this way.

She felt self conscious in her onesie. She only ever wore this at home with Noah. When packing their bags yesterday he’d insisted on taking them. She’d obliged and was now slightly nervous standing in front of Rafael in it. She thought she looked somewhat ridiculous and Rafael staring at her didn’t make it any better. “I know it’s silly.”

“No.” He immediately said. He hard a real hard time to tear his eyes away from her and focus on anything else. “I like coffee.” He muttered before he finally managed to look away. 

“But we have hot chocolate already, uncle Rafa.” Noah pointed out when he heard him say coffee.

“What?” He had no clue as to what Noah was talking about.

“You said coffee but we have hot chocolate.” Noah scooted over to make room for his mother. He wanted to sit between both adults. “I saved you a seat momma.”

TBC...


	14. Zootopia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They watch a movie. Olivia falls asleep and Noah needs some reassurances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who are still reading, leaving kudos and commenting! I am so happy you are still enjoying it.  
> Nothing really happens in this chapter. Mostly more Noah and Rafael moments. Still I hope you enjoy.

“Let me go get us a blanket.” Rafael left for a moment, but quickly returned with a brightly colored quilt. 

“What movie did you choose, Noah?” Olivia sat down next to her son.

“He wanted to watch Superman.” Rafael answered. “I thought it might be a bit too much for him. So we negotiated and settled on..” He looked at Noah to announce his choice.

“Zootopia.” 

“Let’s get started then. Do we have everything we need?” She looked at her son. They always did a final check if they had everything ready before they started a movie. “Movie?”

“Check.”

“Hot chocolate?”

“Check.”

“Blanket?”

“Check.”

“Pajamas?”

“Check.”

“Then we can get started.”

“No.” Noah shook his head. “You forgot uncle Rafa.”

“Right.” She glanced over at Rafael who’d taken his seat on the other side of Noah. “Uncle Rafa?”

Rafael and Noah looked at each other and nodded before answering at once. “Check.”

“Well, let’s get started then.”

Rafael made sure the quilt covered them all and then turned the movie on. He glanced over to Olivia who had Noah cuddled against her side. It was as if Olivia felt his eyes on her because she turned to look at him.

“Everything okay?” Olivia asked. She wasn’t really sure what to make of the look in his eyes.

“Perfect.” And it really was. 

They had picked a great movie to watch. It was funny and adventurous. The sloths had all three of them laughing out loud. The night howlers did scare Noah and when Judy and Nick were at the Cliffside Asylum with predators turned savage Noah crawled closer to his mother. 

Olivia glanced from her son to Rafael. She smiled. Noah and Rafael were both laughing. The day with her son at the zoo had been great already. Sharing dinner with Rafael and now here being in his home with her son, this time together is what made the day perfect. There was a warmth inside of her that she hardly ever felt and it comforted her. She yawned. She leaned her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. 

A short while later, when the movie got a bit scary again, Noah noticed his mother had fallen asleep because usually she would hold him tight against her side when things got a bit scary for him. When she didn’t he looked and saw she was asleep he carefully shifted closer to his uncle Rafael and cuddled close against his side, his hand grabbing his shirt. 

“You okay?” Rafael asked.

Noah nodded, but turned his face against Rafael’s side. “It’s a bit scary.” He admitted. Then he added. “And momma’s asleep.” He whispered.

“I’ve got you.” Rafael reassured. He looked over at Olivia. A soft smile appeared on his face as he watched her sleep. He knew she was tired but he also knew she wasn’t one to easily fall asleep in an unfamiliar place. The cop within her remained vigil, even in her sleep. Now she hadn’t even noticed her son moving away from her. It was a sign to him that she felt safe here and that made him happy. 

Noah and Rafael watched the rest of the movie in relative silence. When they did comment they did so in soft voices, not wanting to wake up Olivia. At the end of the movie Noah was leaning heavily against Rafael’s side. It was time to get Noah to bed. 

“Time for bed, mi niño.” He glanced over at Olivia. “Let’s leave your Mami to sleep.”

Noah nodded his agreement and took his uncle’s hand. “Will you read me a story?” He asked as they walked together to bathroom.

“How about you brush your teeth and then pick the story and I’ll join you shortly.” He checked if Noah was good with that and seeing him nod he left the boy alone. He wanted to check on Olivia. Back in the living room he was relived to see she was still asleep. If she were to stay in that position he knew her neck and back were going to hurt. He didn’t want to wake her up though. For a moment he stood at the couch and contemplated his next move. He finally put his hand on her shoulders and gently guided her to lie down on the couch. He quickly grabbed the couch pillow to put under her head. With Olivia now more comfortably lying down on the couch he waited another moment to see if she was going to wake up. She only mumbled something as she grabbed the blanket. He smiled at that. Rafael was about to pull run his hand over her hair when he saw movement from the corner of his eyes. Noah ran into the room and was about to speak. Rafael quickly put his finger to his lips to stop Noah from speaking. Noah immediately skidded to a stop and nodded his head. He patiently waited for Rafael to join him.

Somewhat reluctantly Rafael left his spot by the couch. He just wanted to stay here with her to make sure she rested and if there were nightmares trying to disturb her he could help chase them away. Most of all he just wanted to be at her side. He softly ran his hand over her hair before reluctantly stepping away. 

Noah immediately grabbed his hand again as soon as he was within reach. He helped Noah under the covers and sat down on the bed. Book in hand he started. Noah wasn’t that much interested in the story at first but as Rafael started to do his silly voices Noah was fully into the story giggling at his uncle Rafa. With the story finished Noah was fighting to stay awake not wanting the day to end. 

“Can we all go out to dinner again?” 

“Of course.”

“And go to the zoo?”

“If your Mami agrees, yes.”

“And...”

“Noah.” Rafael interrupted, guessing the questions could go on an on. “It’s time to go to sleep.” He made sure the boy was tucked in and kissed his forehead. “Dulces sueños.”

“Night uncle Rafa. Love you.” Noah mumbled. Just before his uncle Rafa left the room, Noah had something important to say. In a small voice he voiced his fear. “Will you leave the door open, uncle Rafa?” 

Rafael immediately turned around, facing the boy. “Of course I will.” 

“And a light too?”

He heard the quiver in Noah’s voice. Quickly he was at the boy’s side again. He guessed the unfamiliar surroundings scared him a bit. “What’s wrong Noah?”

The boy shrugged as if nothing was wrong though the look in his eyes clearly told another story. Rafael prodded once more by merely saying his name again. “What if I have a bad dream or hear something? What if something happens?”

“Nothing is going to happen.” He tried to reassure him, but saw Noah wasn’t reassured. “I’m just across the hall, Noah. And your mom is here too. Nothing will happen.”

“Can I see?” 

He guessed Noah needed some extra reassurance and that was seeing with his own eyes that he was just across the hall. “Of course.” He held back the covers and expected Noah to get up and on his feet. Instead Noah held his arms out clearly wanting to be carried. “Can’t walk anymore huh, buddy.” He tickled the boy’s sides and was happy that resulted in a small giggle. He picked him up and Noah immediately wrapped his little arms around his neck. He showed Noah that his room was indeed just across the hall. Inside his bedroom Noah wanted to look around for a bit but also didn’t want to leave his uncle’s arms so Rafael walked around the room. He knew Noah had him wrapped around his finger but he didn’t mind. With Noah now reassured he tucked him in again in the bed in the guest bedroom. 

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah started once more just as Rafael was about to leave the bedroom.

“Noah.” Rafael turned around. “You really need to go to sleep.”

“Momma can find you too, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“If momma gets a bad dream or hears something and gets scared, she can find you too?”

He smiled. Noah was worried about his mother wanting to be reassured that she would be okay too. “Yes.” 

“But she didn’t see your room.”

“I promise you she can find my room. I’m leaving a light on in the hall way and I’ll keep my bedroom door open. If something scares you or your Mami you can both find me.”

That seemed to do the trick. “Okay.” Noah yawned. “Night uncle Rafa.” 

TBC...


	15. Restless sleeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah, Olivia and Rafael all end up in the same bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I managed to finish another chapter I decided to post this one. Once again thank you to those who read, leave kudos and comment. I really encourages me to keep on writing.   
> I like the idea of Rafael, Olivia and Noah being all nice and cozy in Rafael’s bed so that’s why I wrote this chapter. Noah being a restless sleeper and hitting both Rafael and Olivia was inspired by the scene in One Fine Day. I just thought it would be funny.   
> Well I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

It was the tugging at his covers that woke Rafael up. He grumbled and pulled the covers back up to his shoulders again. It didn’t seem to help. He turned onto his back, cracked his eyes open and saw a head of curls. 

“Noah?” His voice rough from lack of use. 

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah pushed the covers down again. “I wanna sleep in your big bed.” 

“What about your Mami?” He asked thinking that by now Olivia had gone to bed. He helped pull the covers up so Noah could crawl in. 

“She’s not there.” With Eddie in his hands Noah lay down and snuggled closer as Rafael pulled the covers back over them. 

“You had a bad dream?” Rafael asked now that he was a little more awake. 

“No.” 

“Was it a bit scary alone in the room?” 

“Yes.” He yawned. Noah snuggled even closer and grabbed his uncle’s shirt sleeve in his hand. “Night uncle Rafa.” He mumbled, barely awake anymore.

“Night, mijo.” Rafael murmured, just like Noah he was barely awake. And a moment later both were fast asleep again.

Much later something woke Olivia up though she didn’t know what it was. Groggy from sleep she got up and shuffled to the open bedroom door the light in the hall way helping her find her way. Not wanting to wake Noah she kept the lights in the bedroom out. For the same reason she carefully pulled the covers back and got in. Laying down she sighed softly when her head hit the pillow. Just like Rafael and Noah she fell quickly asleep.

Some time during the night Noah had crawled closer to his mother, her arms now wrapped around him. Something woke him up and when he cracked open his eyes he saw that Eddie was missing. He knew Eddie had to be somewhere because he’d brought Eddie with him. He turned around and spotted Eddie in the arms of uncle Rafa. Knowing that Eddie was okay Noah quickly fell asleep again.

In the early morning it was Rafael who was the next to wake up. A little arm hitting him right in the face was what woke him up. “What?” He mumbled, not sure what was happening. He turned his head and saw Noah. The little boy was on his back arms and legs spread wide. For a small boy he was taking up quite some space. He gently pushed the boy’s arm off his face and it was only then that he noticed the woman on the other side of Noah. Olivia. Olivia was in his bed. Had she done so on purpose? Or had she mistakenly crawled into his bed? She was on her side, turned towards him. Her hair was spread out on the pillow. Her hand on her son’s chest. She was fast asleep, her face peaceful, nothing was worrying her and he hoped it was because she was here with him and safe with him. He yearned to wrap his arm around the both of them and pull them close. He wouldn’t. He didn’t want to wake them up. He decided to watch them sleep in his bed until he fell asleep again which happened faster than he wanted to.

It was Noah once more turning around that woke up one of the adults. He kicked his mother’s side as he burrowed against her side. Olivia grunted and mumbled her son’s name. She opened one eye and saw her son’s head of curls. She gently moved his feet away from her and turned on her side. She hummed softly. She had slept great, she felt really rested and comfortable. Her son was by her side, they were at Rafael’s home and yesterday had been a great day. This was a good weekend. Her yawn and stretch were stopped mid way by a slight snore that wasn’t her sons. She opened both eyes and that was the first time she noticed the man on the other side of the bed. Rafael. Had Rafael gotten into bed with them? She looked around. Nope, she had gotten into Rafael’s bed. She didn’t have a clear memory of going to bed. Her best guess was that she’d stumbled half asleep into the bedroom, thinking it was the guest bedroom. And with Noah also present it didn’t seem a far stretch. She watched him. His hair was tousled. She couldn’t see much of his face just his eyes and a bit of his nose, he had his covers pulled up that high. She smiled when he crinkled his nose, apparently something was tickling him. Then his hand appeared from beneath the covers to scratch his nose. But it wasn’t just solely his hand, it was grey trunk that appeared too, which was in Rafael’s hand. In his hand was Eddie, Eddie the Elephant, Noah’s stuffed animal. She giggled softly. Rafael Barba, her tough lawyer, had slept with a stuffed animal in his arms. It made her giggle turn into a soft laugh. 

To be woken up by the lovely sound of her soft laughter was quite a pleasant way to wake up. Something he hoped wasn’t a one time thing. “Why are you laughing?” His voice was a mere whisper, not wanting to wake up Noah who was still asleep between them. 

“Did you have a nice cuddle with Eddie?”

“I did actually.” He glanced at the elephant. “He’s very cuddly.” 

“Mmm...” Olivia hummed. “I bet he is.” She looked at Rafael. His green eyes still sleepy from just waking up. The stubble on his face was even more pronounced than yesterday. He looked relaxed, comfortable and lazy. She liked it. “I’m sorry.” She started. “I don’t remember crawling into your bed.”

“Mmm.., I don’t remember either. You were there suddenly.”

“Sorry.”

He shook his head. “I don’t mind.” 

“And Noah?”

“He was a bit scared. I think it was the unfamiliar space and missing you.”

Before she could say anything else, her son suddenly moved from one side to the other, his arms flailing and hitting Rafael on the chest as he turned on his side. Rafael grunted from the hit.

“He’s quite the restless sleeper.” Rafael commented after yet another impact. 

Once more she softly laughed. “He is.” 

He glared a bit at her. “You’re enjoying this.” 

She nodded. She knew he meant Noah hitting him. “This is nice.” It was strange to her that this situation they were in, being in bed with Rafael, could have been awkward and uncomfortable, but it was the opposite. It felt right, comfortable and really nice. 

Rafael hummed. “It is.” He kept his hold firmly on Eddie to stop himself from reaching out and pull her closer. 

“I don’t want to move.” She admitted in whisper. 

“Then don’t.”

“I can’t stay in your bed.”

“Ooh but you can. You’re more then welcome to.” He said warmly. It really was. If she wanted to spend the entire day in his bed, he really wasn’t going to stop her. “I could take Noah to the park and you can stay here and relax.”

She stretched lazily and smiled at the idea. “As nice at that sounds...” She was interrupted by her son waking up. He yawned loudly, stretched his little body and by doing so hit his uncle Rafa’s body again. 

Rafael smiled at Noah. “Morning, Noah.” He rubbed the boy’s back. 

“Morning uncle Rafa.” The little boy mumbled. Still sleepy he cuddled close to the man. 

“It takes him some time to wake up.” It took her son at least ten minutes after waking up to get out of bed. “Morning, my sweet boy.” Olivia greeted her son.

Noah immediately turned around and leaned into his mother’s side. “Morning, momma.” He mumbled.

“You sleep okay?” She kissed the top of his head. His answer was the nod of his head. She gently rubbed his back. 

After a moment Noah realized someone was missing. “Where’s Eddie?”

“Uncle Rafa was cuddling with him.” 

“You want him back?” Rafa lifted the stuffed elephant. 

Noah shook his head which Rafael couldn’t see because the boy was still cuddled against his mother’s side. “You can cuddle with him. Eddie likes you.”

Rafael smiled. “Lucky me.” 

After a while Noah started to move around a bit more a sign that he was more awake. He turned away from his mother and sat up between the two adults. He rubbed his eyes. Then he spotted Eddie and looked at his Uncle Rafa. He wanted Eddie back. Rafael noticed and handed Eddie back over. 

“How about I start breakfast while you two get ready?” Rafael suggested. 

“Can I help?” Noah asked eagerly. 

“Sure.” He pushed the covers away. He stood up and held his hand out for Noah who grabbed it and let his uncle pull him up on his feet on the bed. “Let’s go mi amigo.” He fired the boy in his arms. He looked at Olivia who was looking at them with a smile. “You.” He started. “Stay in bed and we’ll bring you breakfast in bed.”

TBC...


	16. Rocking climbing wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Noah and Rafael time. Noah thinks his uncle Rafa can do anything. After all he’s Superman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happening in this chapter. Just some Noah and Rafael time. I hope that’s okay and doesn’t disappoint. Thank you for those who keep hanging in there. It makes me so happy that you keep enjoying this fic. I still love writing it. I have some idea where this is going. The weekend is almost going to end which means Rafael, Olivia and Noah will separate. But that’s not going to happen just yet.

After breakfast in bed Rafael and Noah had convinced Olivia to stay in bed. They were going to go to the park which gave Olivia some well deserved time to relax. Just before they’d left Rafael had checked with Olivia to be sure she was really okay with them leaving. He’d also told her to make herself at home. To watch a movie, read a book or fall back sleep. He would take care of her son. She’d spotted the bath in Rafael’s bathroom and decided it was the perfect time to enjoy a nice relaxing bath. She started the bath and as it filled up she perused his bookshelves before picking one. She turned on some music and with the bath now filled she slid in. She sighed in delight. If she took a bath at home she hardly ever could truly relax. She was always alert in case Noah would need her. But now, she could truly relax. There was no one to disturb her. 

At the park Rafael was running after Noah. Maybe he’d given Noah too much sugar at breakfast. The boy was a bundle of energy. He’d already gone on the swings. Then the slides and now it was time for the monkey bars. Rafael wondered if he needed to stay close by or if Noah could handle the monkey bars on his own. He also didn’t want to crowd the little boy. He decided to stay close in case Noah needed him. The monkey bars were no problem for Noah but after a few rounds he wanted to do something else. And so together, Noah’s hand in his uncle Rafa’s, they made their way to the park in search of something else to do. That’s when Noah spotted a rock climbing wall. They watched for a while. The big wall was divided in three parts. One high and what appeared to be a difficult track for the adults. One that wasn’t as high but still seemed tricky which appeared to be for the older kids, and a smaller wall with big handles for the smaller kids. Noah was in awe. He wanted to climb the wall. 

“I wanna do that.” Noah pulled on Rafael’s hand. “Can we?”

“Are you sure?” Rafael really wasn’t. Would Olivia be okay with her son trying out the rock climbing wall. What if he fell? Then again it was hardly a fall. The wall wasn’t high. There was a big soft cushion on the ground so if he fell he wouldn’t hurt himself. 

“Yes.” The boy was determined. 

Still unsure Rafael let Noah walk them to the wall. It was busy and there were a few families waiting to give it a try which gave Rafael some time to analyze if it was really safe for Noah. Seeing as kids about the same age were going up the kids wall and neither of them appeared to be in danger, Rafael decided that it was safe enough. Now they only needed to wait for a boy and his father that were just about to start and then it was their turn. Noah was full of excitement, bouncing impatiently on his feet. He was in awe of the people he saw on the bigger wall. He was convinced his uncle Rafa could easily do that too and said so.

“Do you want to climb the wall too, uncle Rafa?”

Rafael eyed the big wall. He shook his head. “No, not really.”

“I bet you can go to the top, uncle Rafa.” Noah smiled. “You’re Superman. You can do anything.”   
He saw how the boy’s father stayed on the ground and was connected to him with a rope. He looked at his uncle Rafa. Maybe he wanted to climb too, but Noah wasn’t sure if he had to hold the rope then. “I don’t think I can hold the rope if you climb.” It occurred to him then. “I think you don’t need a rope.”

He smiled at the boy’s confidence in his climbing skills. He doubted he could reach the top. He wasn’t really athletic nor was he a big fan of heights. He also knew that if Noah were to ask him to climb the wall, he would. He didn’t want to disappoint him. He had an inkling that was what Noah was about to ask him. 

“Sir.” The young lady interrupted his thoughts. “Are you and your son ready to give it a try?”

He was momentarily stunned by her words. Stunned because it warmed his heart and filled it with joy. He smiled at Noah before nodding at the woman. “Yes we are.”

“Great. Let’s get you two into the gear and then you’re ready to go. Are the both of you going to climb or just your son?”

“For now, just him.” 

A little while later they were in the gear and ready to go. Rafael asked the young woman who was helping them to take a picture of the both of them. He knew Olivia would want one and so did he in fact. He crouched down, wrapped his arm around Noah and the two of them smiled broadly into the camera. 

“Ready to go amigo?” Rafael checked with Noah. He saw Noah was a bit nervous. “I promise you I won’t let anything happen to you.” He reassured him. “Go on, have fun.” 

“If I climb this one, will you climb the big wall?”

Rafael hesitated. He glanced over at the bigger wall. It was quite a bit bigger and seemed a lot more complicated to get to the top. “I don’t know.” 

“Please, uncle Rafa. You can do anything.” 

TBC...


	17. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia needs some relaxing clothes and a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy. And maybe this update brings you some relief from all that’s going on. I know that’s what fics do for me.   
> As always, and I keep mentioning it because it’s important, thank you for those who keep reading, leaving kudos and comments. It brings me much joy.   
> I hope you enjoy this surprise visitor.

Back at Rafael’s apartment Olivia had enjoyed her relaxing bath. She was disappointed she hadn’t brought a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie with her to get dressed in. She guessed Rafael and Noah wouldn’t get back for a while so she could lounge on the couch and continue reading the book she’d chosen. She looked at her jeans, plain shirt and vest again. No, she muttered that was no good for relaxing. Feeling bold she made her way to Rafael’s bedroom. She was sure she would find what she was looking for in there. In the first drawer she opened she found what she was looking for. She quickly put Rafael’s clothes on and smiled at herself as she looked at herself in the mirror. She liked the way she looked in his clothes. 

In the kitchen she prepared a cup of tea for herself and then settled down on the couch. The blanket they’d used the night before was still there and she pulled it over her legs. It wasn’t long before she was lost in the book. Quite some time later, after another cup of tea, she heard the keys and assumed Rafael and Noah were returning from their adventure. It was why she didn’t get up from her spot on the couch nor did she look up. However when it stayed quiet she realized it couldn’t be Rafael with her son. Noah hardly ever was quiet. When she looked up she gasped and immediately got up on her feet. The book she was reading falling to the ground and the blanket was now wrapped around her feet.

“Mrs. Barba.” Olivia exclaimed. Lucia Barba was standing in the living room. She had her brown coat still on, purse in her hand and a look of surprise on her face. Olivia felt embarrassed that Rafael’s mother was finding her alone in his apartment in his clothes. She realized all too well what kind of image she presented. She felt her cheeks flush. She needed to say something. “I...” She started. “Rafael, he’s..., I... yesterday we...” She’d lost her ability to formulate complete sentences. “We’re not...”

Lucia Barba smiled at Olivia’s rambling. She hadn’t expected to find Olivia Benson at her son’s apartment. And by the looks of it, she was wearing her son’s clothing too. She had questions for her son. Even more than she initially had. Yesterday evening she’d received a call from Mila telling her Rafael had come to the restaurant with Noah and Olivia. Now she was here intent on questioning her son why he hadn’t told her he was finally in a relationship with his Olivia. Never had she imagined to find the woman he was dating in his living room. Her inability to form a complete sentence was just further proof to her that she and her son were dating. Well not that she needed anymore proof than her than the current situation she was confronted with.

“Mrs. Benson.” She said, putting a stop to Olivia’s rambling which she seemed grateful for. “It’s good to see you.”

Olivia took a deep breath. “It’s good to see you too Mrs. Barba.” Stepping forward she shook the older woman’s hand. 

“Quite a surprise too.” Lucia Barba added.

“Yeah, euuhhh... well I..”The rambling started again. 

“Where’s Rafael?” Surely by now her son would have heard her and made an appearance?

“Ooh, well he took my son out to the park.” 

“Really?” Lucia did her best to stop herself from smiling. This was all simply too good. She was going to enjoy questioning her son’s relationship with Olivia knowing he was going to deny everything. Though nothing he could say could convince her otherwise. 

Olivia was somewhat at a loss as to what to say. From the glimmer in Lucia Barba’s eyes it was obvious what the woman was thinking. And really the situation called for it. “Did he forget you would be meeting him? I could call him if you’d like.” Olivia suggested.   
“No, there’s no need. I just thought I’d come on over and surprise him.” Lucia smirked. “I guess I managed to do that.” 

Olivia laughed out loud at Lucia’s understatement. “You sure did Mrs. Barba.” She finally relaxed. “Can I get you a cup of tea? Or maybe coffee?”

“Call me Lucia and yes I’d love a cup of tea.”

Olivia was about to poor the hot water for the tea in the mugs when she heard the apartment door open. She sighed in relief. Rafael was back. She heard the small feet of her son running through the apartment, calling for her as he made his way to her.

“Mami, Mami.” He called out for her.

Noah calling her Mami was definitely new and she knew that was Rafael’s influence. Not that it bothered her. It had a nice ring to it. “I’m in the kitchen sweetheart.” She’d just turned around, luckily the mugs were still on the counter, when her son collided with her legs, hugging her. Clearly he’d been in a hurry to find her, he was still wearing his coat. She bend and kissed his head. He was full of excitement. 

“There was a big wall to climb in the park and I gotta climb it.” He started excitedly. “It was really high, but I got to the top.” His arms were above his head as if to indicate how high the wall was. “Uncle Rafa was on the ground with the rope.” Then his eyes got wide. “And then uncle Rafa went on the really big wall and he was almost to the top but then uncle Rafa fell and hit the wall. Then he got up again and still got to the top. Uncle Rafa’s really good.” The awe for his uncle was obvious and both women heard it.

For the second time that morning Lucia Barba was surprised. This time because of the little boy who called her son uncle Rafa and with whom her son had spend the morning. Clearly he’d been hiding quite a lot from her and she wasn’t going to let that slide by. She couldn’t wait for his reaction to finding her in the kitchen with his.., well his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s son. 

“Noah, you still have your coat on.” Rafael said as he stepped into the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted his mother. “Mami?” What was his mother doing in his kitchen? He was sure they hadn’t agreed to meet today. He saw the mischievous look in her eyes and he knew he was in trouble. There was no way this was going to end well for him. How long had she’d been here and what had she and Olivia been talking about? He looked at her. She was helping Noah out of his coat. It was then that he noticed something else. Was that his hoodie she was wearing? And was that a pair of his sweatpants? He shook his head slightly. He couldn’t let his mind get stuck on that. He needed to stay alert in dealing with his mother. He walked up to his mother, bend and hugged her. He tried to suppress a painful groan as he did so. He kissed her cheek. 

“You okay?” Olivia was worried. She’d heard him groan and saw how he carefully straightened up after hugging his mother. She stepped closer. She wanted to reach out and touch him to check for herself that he really wasn’t injured. Wiith his mother watching she stopped herself from doing so. 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” He didn’t want her to worry about him. He’d hit the wall hard. His side and his head were bothering him. He’d felt like he couldn’t let Noah down and so after his fall he’d done his best to get to the top and managed to do so. He was sure he was going to regret doing so tomorrow. He wondered how he was going to look tomorrow in front of judge and jury. He hoped it wasn’t too bad. 

She held his eyes for a moment, not sure if he was truly okay. This wasn’t the time to push though. “Okay. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you a cup of coffee.”

“No need.” He walked to the fridge. “I’m going to grab some water.” He turned to Noah. “What about you Noah. You want something to drink too?”

Noah nodded his head. “Orange juice please.” 

“Noah, this is uncle Rafa’s mother, Mrs. Barba.” Olivia introduced her son.

“You’re uncle Rafa’s Mami?” Noah asked. He looked from his uncle to the older woman.

“I am.” The older woman smiled at the boy with his curly hair and deep blue eyes. 

“I’m Noah.” The boy smiled brightly at her. 

Olivia smiled at her son and noticed Rafael smiling at Noah’s greeting too. Lucia Barba had a smile on her face too. She was immediately charmed by the boy. 

“Hi Noah.” She laughed when Noah held his hand out to shake. 

“Do you want to color with me?”

“I’d love to.”

“Yes.” Noah cheered. “I’ll be right back.” He ran off to grab everything he needed.

With Noah gone Lucia immediately looked at her son and Olivia and smirked. “So...” Was all she said and all she needed to say. Her son began to nervously rub his hand on het back of his neck and Olivia quickly excused herself to check up on Noah. “You have some explaining to do mijo.” 

He really didn’t feel like explaining anything nor did he knew what to explain. He sighed. “Why are you here Mami?”

“Well.” Lucia Barba took her time taking a sip o her tea. “Mila called me about your visit to the restaurant with your Olivia and Noah.” She grinned at his reaction to her words. First a cringe that his Tia had told on him and then a small smile on his face when she talked about Olivia and Noah. Yes her son was head over heels in love with Olivia Benson. That wasn’t a real surprise. She’d expected as much. He talked about Olivia and Noah quite a lot. Yet he’d never told her they were in a relationship and really there was no denying it now. “You’ve been withholding information Rafi.”

Rafael glanced towards the living room to see if Olivia and Noah were about to join them again. “I haven’t.” 

Lucia shook her head. “The evidence tells a different story. Mijo, Olivia and Noah are here spending the weekend with you. She’s wearing your clothes and you’re telling me nothing is going on?”

“Mami.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t...” 

“Uncle Rafa I can’t find my crayons. Do you have any crayons?” He asked hopefully. 

The switch in topic caused his to answer to take a bit longer than normal. “I don’t think so.” 

“Ooh.”

“Let me check just to be sure.” He wondered where Olivia was. “Where’s your Mami?”

Noah shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.” He was about to open his mouth to yell for his mother when Rafael stopped him. 

“I’ll go find her.” He looked at his mother. “You two will be okay?”

“We will.” Lucia smiled at Noah. “I’m going to tell Noah all about you as a little boy.” She turned to Noah.

TBC...


	18. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for them to part ways. Olivia, Rafael and Noah say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reviews! And thank you for the suggestions, which when I read them, I thought...yes what a great idea! Olivia stepping in to help Rafael out when facing his mother. And Olivia taking care of Rafael because he deserves some TLC because he got hurt. The story took me somewhere else though. This is where it took me and I hope that’s okay.  
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and your comments. I really love them.

When he couldn’t find her in the living room Rafael guessed she might be in the guest bedroom. 

“Liv?” He called out her name just before knocking on the door. He stepped back when the door immediately opened. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi.” He immediately noticed she was no longer wearing his clothes and it irked him. Then he noticed the bags in her hand. “You’re leaving?” He didn’t like that at all. 

She nodded. “We’ve overstayed our welcome.” 

“Never.” He immediately said. 

“It feels we’ve imposed on your time and your place long enough.” 

“Is this because my mother is here? She won’t stay. Mila called her and...”

“It’s not.” She dropped the bags to the floor and put her hand on his arm. “You knew we had to go home eventually. You spend the entire Sunday morning with my son so I could have a nice relaxing morning. Like I said we’ve imposed on your time too much already. It’s time for us to go home and for you to have some peace and quiet.”

He didn’t want peace and quiet. He wanted the noise and disturbance of Olivia and Noah in his home. He didn’t want them to go. “I want to cook dinner for you and Noah.” It had come to the point that he was almost whining. 

She smiled at his almost whine. “You can do that some other time.” She stepped a little closer to him. “How bad did you hurt yourself?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Rafael.” He wasn’t very convincing and she saw right through him.

“Fine. I’ll be sore tomorrow.” 

“What happened?”

“I slipped and went sideways against the wall.” He tried to shrug it off. 

“Why did you do it? You have court tomorrow. And I know you don’t like heights.” 

“I know.” He looked away for a moment. “Noah asked.” He admitted.

“You could have said no.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to disappoint him, nor his mother.”

“Rafael.” His words touched her. “I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for you to disappoint my son.”

“And his mother?” 

“Same.”

“You really can’t stay?” He tried again. 

She shook her head. “It’s time to go.” 

“Okay.” He bend to retrieve one of her bags and in doing so hurt himself. He tried to stifle his groan, but wasn’t successful.

Olivia immediately stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “I got it.” 

He nodded. He stepped closer and put his hand on her hip. He leaned in and touched her forehead with his. “Call me when you get home?” 

She smiled. “I will.” She leaned back for a brief moment before she rubbed her forehead against his chest. 

“Call me if you need me.” He murmured, his arm tightening on her hip for a moment. He then slipped his other arm around him and hugged her close against his chest. He took a deep breath and held her tight against him, loving how her body felt against his. 

“You too.” She mumbled against his chest. She grabbed his shirt in her hands and sighed. Being in his arms felt so good. 

Their moment got disturbed by Noah calling out for his mother. “Mami. Look.”

Silently she cursed her son’s timing. She didn’t want to leave Rafael’s arms just yet. Then again the moment couldn’t have lasted much longer. “Time to go.” She whispered and reluctantly stepped out of his arms. 

“Yeah.” He followed a moment later to the kitchen. 

“What is it sweet boy?” Olivia asked as she joined Lucia and her son in the kitchen.

Noah immediately spotted the bags too and forgot what he wanted to say. “Ooh I don’t wanna leave. I wanna stay with uncle Rafa.” 

“I know and we’ll visit uncle Rafa soon again, okay. But now we have to go home. You have to go back to school tomorrow and uncle Rafa has an important case that starts tomorrow. He deserves some peace and quiet.” 

“Okay, momma.” He turned to Lucia Barba. “Bye uncle Rafa’s Mami.” 

“Bye Noah.” Lucia watched her son walk away with the two Bensons in tow. 

“Thank you uncle Rafa.” The three of them were at the front door. Olvia and Noah were ready to go, their coats on. 

“Thank you, Noah.” Rafael carefully crouched down. “Be good for your Mami.” 

“I will.” He surprised Rafael and Olivia by throwing himself in his uncle Rafa's arms. “I’m gonna miss you uncle Rafa.” He put his head the man’s shoulder. “I love you.”

Rafael held the boy close. “I love you too mi dulce Noah. I'll see you soon."

"You promise?"

"I promise." He kissed Noah's forehead. Back on his feet he ruffled the boy’s hair and then turned towards Olivia.

They stared at each other and stepped towards each other at the same time. “Thank you for a wonderful weekend, Rafa.”  
“I hope we can do that again.”

“I’d like that.” She smiled. She closed what little distance was left between them and hugged him tightly. “Thank you.” She whispered once more.

“Always.” He whispered just as softly. Just as she was about to let go he brushed his lips against her cheek. “Bye, Liv.”

TBC...


	19. Motherly advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Lucia have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted Lucia and Rafael to have a moment together. For her to comfort her son. I hope that despite the fact that this chapter doesn’t have Olivia or Noah in it, you will still like it.   
> I know Olivia left rather sudden in the previous chapter. She was spooked because of what they could appear to be, but maybe I should have expressed that more. Next chapter will cover that a little bit though.  
> Thank you again for reading, leaving kudos and commenting. It really makes me happy.

He stood there leaning with his head against his apartment door for a moment. His apartment immediately felt too silent. With his mother waiting for him in the kitchen he knew he couldn’t keep standing in his hallway. 

Looking at her son walking back into the kitchen Lucia saw from the look in his eyes that any teasing would be unwelcome. Silently she stood up and prepared him a cup of coffee as he slumped down in the kitchen chair. 

“Rafi.” She put a cup of coffee in front of him and took her seat again. “I didn’t mean to chase them away.”

“You didn’t. They had to go home eventually.”

“You wanted them to stay.”

“Yeah.” He admitted softly. 

“What’s going on with you two?” Lucia finally asked after a moment of silence. 

He thought about what to say. “Nothing.” He saw his mother roll her eyes. “Everything.” He thought again. “I don’t know.” Is what he finally settled on. 

“They make you happy.” She’d seen it in his eyes. 

“Yes.”

“Does she know you love her?”

He shrugged and then shook his head. “There’s so much as stake.”

“Only you know if they’re worth the risk.” 

Despite the answer to that question being yes, the answer was also no. “They mean everything to me Mami. I don’t want to lose them.” He ran his hand through his hair. 

She knew her son well enough that there was more to it. “What happened?”

He leaned back in his chair and looked at his coffee mug. “We haven’t been working together. I was asked for another case and a colleague took over my cases. One night last week Noah called me. He was scared that something was wrong with Olivia. I went over and she was distressed. It threw me off because for a moment there I imagined what my life would be without her if something happened to her and I... I don’t want to imagine my life without her.” Rafael got back on his feet and started pacing. “I took care of Noah while she tried to get back on her feet. She kept struggling but she wouldn’t tell me what was going on. She still hasn’t told me despite the time we’ve spend together.” He was gesticulating heavily now as he always did when he was agitated. “I know they had a tough case, that’s all I know. I don’t want to push her. I want her to want to tell me because she trusts me and knows I’m always on her side.” He stopped and turned to his mother. “I want to take care of them, of her, but I feel she won’t let me, at least not in a way that matters.”

Standing up Lucia walked of to Rafael and wrapped him in her arms. “Mijo.” She murmured as she held him close. She had known for a while now that her son had feelings for his Olivia. She’s tried to talk to him about it but he always denied it and quickly changed the subject. This was the first time he was actually talking about it. “She trusts you to take care of the most important person in her life, her son. Why can’t you see that?”

He hung his head. “She won’t trust me with herself.” He sounded defeated.

“Rafi, look at me.” She waited until he did so before continuing. “Olivia is a single parent and she runs the squad. Many people rely on her. She isn’t used to rely on others or to show weakness. She needs to stay strong for all those around her. So what do you think she does when she’s having a tough time? She tries to figure it out, work through it in the only way she knows how and that’s dealing with it on her own. Having someone to lean on or ask for help that’s not something she’s used to. You need to give her time and show her that you’re there for her. That sharing her struggles isn’t a sign of weakness and that you will brave the storm with her. Have you told her as much?” She knew the answer to that question. Her son relied on himself and had a hard time asking others for help too. As expected he shook his head. “So maybe start with showing her that you’re there for the both of them and give her the time she needs to see that and trust that and you. Let her set the pace but let her know that you’re in her corner. And push back a bit when she doesn’t believe you. Show her that she can’t push you away.”

He nodded his head. “You’re right.”

“Of course. I’m your mother.” She grinned at him. “You took them to Mila and Luis.” They were both seated at the kitchen table again.

“I did. I wanted to take them out and make sure they had a fun evening. They deserved it. And I wanted to share something of myself with them.”

Lucia smiled. Rafael had never shared much of himself with others. Apparently with Olivia he did so willingly. “I’m glad.” She titled her head to the side. “You’re good with Noah. You took him to the park?”

“Yeah. Olivia.., she had a tough week and she deserved some time to herself to relax. I wanted to give her that so I took Noah to the park.” He shrugged as if it was nothing. “I enjoy spending time with him and he seems to like me.”

“You’re Superman to him.” Noah had told her all about it. 

“He just...” He put his elbows on the table and leaned his head against his hands. “She told him to call me if he got scared or hurt and she couldn’t take care of him. She told him I was like Superman and it stuck with him.”

Lucia reached out, took his wrists in her hands and gently pushed down his arms so she could look at her son. She caressed the back of his hands with her thumbs. Not a word was spoken nor was it necessary. They just sat there in silence, Rafael lost in thought but happy with the silent comfort his mother offered. 

TBC...


	20. A bump in the road.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia hasn’t seen or heard from Rafael in a week. Noah’s worried and determined his uncle Rafa needs help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a chapter without Olivia and Noah, they’re back. But there’s not that much happiness or fluff in this one. Rafael is keeping his distance from the two Bensons. Don’t worry, the slight angst won’t stay for too long. Despite that angst I hope you enjoy the chapter. I’m so happy that people are still reading and enjoying this fic. I love writing it. So thank you!

Sitting alone, on the couch in her living room, Olivia grabbed her phone again and scrolled through her photos. She stopped at the same one she’d looked at yesterday and the days before, the one she looked at a couple of times a day. It was the photo of Rafael and Noah at the park, both in the climbing gear, looking at the camera with big smiles on their faces. She loved Rafael’s smile and when his eyes crinkled with laughter she was always struck by his beauty. He took her breath away at those moments. She glanced over at her son who was playing with his legos. He’d been asking about Rafael every day. He wanted to call him, wanted to know when he’d see him again and she didn’t have an answer for him. The trial Rafael had been preparing for had started on Monday. The one that had taken him away from her and she didn’t want to disturb him at least not with something so insignificant. She knew this case was very important. She’d heard rumors that the case hadn’t been going well but had no specifics. She could have found out what was actually going on but decided against it because she wanted to hear it from him. She had thought he would share with her, not because he had, but because he wanted to. She was disappointed that she hadn’t heard from him the entire week. Not a phone call, not even a text, nothing. He was incommunicado and it was cause for worry. After she’d returned home that Sunday they’d talked and he’d admitted he’d been displeased with her quite sudden departure. She’d told him she didn’t want to intrude on his time with his mother and it didn’t feel right for her to stay there with her son. He understood but told her that next time he expected her to save him from his mother’s meddling. They’d agreed to stay in touch. After the time they’d spend together the previous weekend, the way he’d taken care of her and Noah, she’d allowed herself to believe in possibilities. Now she was second guessing that. 

“Sometimes Superman needs help too.” Noah suddenly said though he kept his focus on his lego. 

She looked at her son, not sure where his remark was coming from. “Sorry, sweetheart, I don’t understand.”

“I think uncle Rafa’s sad.” He clarified.

“Why do you say that?”

He shrugged. “Cause uncle Rafa promised to call and he didn’t. It’s important to keep your promises.”

“Uncle Rafa had a very important case. He’s busy.”

“He promised, Mami.” 

She smiled a little at his conviction and at his words. The word Mami had stuck with her son and he’d been calling her that ever since the weekend they’d spend with Rafael. She liked it. 

“You always say we help people we love and we love uncle Rafa, right?” He saw her nod. “And uncle Rafa helped us when I called cause I was scared.” Noah looked around for a moment. “I’m gonna make something to cheer him up.” He looked back at his mother. “I think we have to visit.”

She didn’t want to disappoint him. She loved how Noah loved his uncle Rafa and wanted to make him feel better. She doubted a visit was going to be good idea. On the other hand if she had Noah with her he might have more difficulty denying them. She knew Rafael had a weak spot for Noah and had a hard time refusing him. She wasn’t opposed to using her son if it meant she finally got the chance to see him. “Okay, but maybe uncle Rafa doesn’t want to see us. And it’s late so we’ll give it a try tomorrow.”

Happy that his mother had agreed Noah went to his bedroom to see what he could make for his uncle Rafa to cheer him up. 

The following morning Olivia and Noah were standing at Rafael’s apartment complex. She was nervous. She’d pressed the doorbell, but so far no one had answered and so they couldn’t get into the building. She didn’t know if it meant he wasn’t at home or if he didn’t want to see anyone. She tried it again. If he still didn’t answer then they would go home. Then Noah suddenly let her go and ran away from her.

“Noah!” She called after him. Her son was fast and before she knew it he was a couple of feet away from her already and she was still on the steps. He wasn’t one to just run off like that. 

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah yelled. He’d seen the man and was now running at him, calling out his name. “Uncle Rafa.” He yelled once more afraid the man might not hear him. With the man now within reach Noah threw himself at him trusting that his uncle Rafa would catch him.

Rafael quickly dropped to his knees and caught Noah in his arms. “Noah.” He muttered against the boy’s hair. He looked around for Olivia who had to be near. 

“I missed you uncle Rafa.” Noah put his head on the man’s shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck. “You promised to call.”

Rafael didn’t say anything. He tightened his hold on the little boy and held him close. He’d messed up, he knew that. He’d kept his distance from them despite his promise to stay in touch. His case had fallen apart and it felt like it was his fault and because of it the suspects were out there again. He felt guilty. He’d failed. He’d let the victims and their families down. He’d stayed at his apartment, ignoring everyone. He was still angry with himself for his failure. Now with Noah in his arms his guilt increased because he’d let him down too. “Lo siento, mijo.” He whispered. “Lo siento.”

Olivia kept a short distance from her son hugging Rafael. She knew he needed it. She watched him standing up, keeping her son in his arms. He was wearing a dark hooded sweater, jeans and sneakers. He looked exhausted, there were dark circles under his eyes. His eyes were dark, full of sorrow and guilt. His hair was unkept and he was sporting a beard. “Rafael?”

He was rooted to the spot. He swallowed thickly. There was too much on his mind. He wanted to go to her and wrap her in his arms. He wanted the comfort that he knew only she could offer. He’d missed her. Several times that week he’d almost called her but had stopped himself every time. He didn’t want her to know how he’d failed. He didn’t deserve her comfort. He needed to keep his distance. They deserved the best of him, not the parts of himself that pushed people away. The part of him that was afraid they would see his weakness and it would make them turn away from him. That was his biggest fear. He was at a loss at what to say. He just stared at her. He saw the worry in her eyes but he didn’t know how to take that away. 

“I made you something Uncle Rafa.” Noah announced from Rafael’s arms. 

“Really?” He was glad to turn his attention back to the boy in his arms. 

Noah nodded his head. “Mami’s got it.”

Olivia held Noah’s backpack up which she had picked up after he’d dropped it on the ground to run to his uncle Rafa. Noah had been busy working on his project the entire evening and had only finished it early in the morning. He’d hardly slept and she knew that was going to catch up with him, and her, eventually. She didn’t know what he’d made. He hadn’t told her and she hadn’t been allowed to look. He had put it in his backpack that was all she knew. 

With neither of the adults making any move, Noah piped up again. “Uncle Rafa, can we go inside now?”

“Of course.” He set him down but kept the boy’s hand in his. “Let’s go.”

TBC...


	21. A comic, Tommy and Horton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah gives Rafael the presents he prepared. With Noah and Olivia by his side again Rafael’s sorrow no longer has the best of him. He feels loved again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since writing has been going well, here’s another update. I know what Noah is giving Rafael is silly, but it fit with the theme and I liked the idea of him really creating something for the man he so adores. I hope despite the silliness you like it.  
> As always thanks to all who read, left kudos and commented. A special thank you to kmfoss929, Amilyn, CaseyBarson12. Thank you for hanging in there and your sweet words.

“It’s a bit of a mess.” Rafael apologized. He hadn’t really cleaned up. There was an empty scotch glass on his coffee table and an empty bowl which had been filled with ice cream. A sweater was still on the couch as were the blanket and the pillow. He hadn’t been sleeping well and had mostly stayed on his couch. He still hadn’t cleaned up his kitchen either.

Olivia kept silent and followed her son into Rafael’s apartment handing him his backpack back. It wasn’t as tidy as it had been before but it still wasn’t a big mess. Her own apartment was cluttered too. It did say something about his frame of mind. Especially the blanket and pillow she spotted on his couch. She watched him move around, grabbing the pillow and blanket. His tiredness showed in his slumped shoulders and slow movements.

She made her decision. She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. He refused to turn around. “Let me.” She said softly. “Go sit down and spend some time with Noah. He missed you.”

He knew she didn’t say it to make him feel guilty, nevertheless it did exactly that. He nodded and put on a brave face for the little boy he loved so much. Noah was on the couch, opening his backpack. He looked up when Rafael sat down next to him. His excitement clear in his eyes. Carefully holding it in both hands he handed his uncle Rafa what he’d made. Rafael looked at what Noah had handed him. It seemed like he had made him a sort of book with all kinds of drawings?

“I made you a Superman comic.” Noah excitedly said. He got on his knees and shuffled closer. He leaned against the man’s shoulder to look at the comic together. “It’s called Superman and friends.” 

“You made this for me?” On what he supposed was the cover, there was a Superman with suspenders that made him smile. He felt overwhelmed that this little boy that he loved so much had made this for him. “Why?”

Noah leaned a bit more against Rafael’s side. He pointed at the figures on the cover. “That’s you.” He pointed at Superman. “That’s me and that’s Mami.” Noah had drawn himself as a smaller version of the bigger Superman without the suspenders and he was in the familiar Superman pose. And his mother he’d drawn with a NYPD cape. In the back there was a police car and some more people. “That’s uncle Fin and aunt Amanda.” Also on the cover, next to Superman was a grey creature but he wasn’t entire sure what it was and he didn’t want to ask afraid to disappoint Noah. 

For the next minutes Rafael and Noah thumbed through each page with Noah explaining all that was going on. The story was that Superman got injured and couldn’t save any people which made him sad. His friends helped save the people Superman couldn’t save. They also gave Superman Tommy, which was the grey creature from the cover, to keep him company. It ended with Superman, his friends and Tommy all together and the promise that they would be friends forever. 

After reading the comic, Noah reached for his backpack again and took something out. He snuggled against Rafael’s side and handed him a stuffed elephant. “That’s Tommy.” He looked up at Rafael. “Mami bought Tommy for me at the zoo, but I want you to have him. He can be your friend too.”

Rafael had no words for how sweet Noah was and the way it made him feel. The comic and now giving him one of his own stuffed animals. He wrapped his arm around Noah’s shoulder and held him close. “Are you sure?”

Noah nodded. “Eddie helps when I’m sad.” He looked up at Rafael. “And Tommy can help you.” He smiled. “You can cuddle with Tommy.” He suggested.

“That sounds great, Noah.” He held Tommy close against his chest and tightened his hold on Noah. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back and held Noah and Tommy in his arms. This was the first time since his case had fallen apart that he felt at peace. Even more so that empty feeling inside of him was fading to the back and in its place he felt the warmth and love Noah was giving him. 

“Uncle Rafa?” 

“Mm..” It had taken the presence of the Bensons for him to finally be able to feel calm again and not be overwhelmed by guilt. He took a deep breath. He felt Noah wriggle free from his hold and the emptiness hit him immediately. He turned his head and watched Noah rummage through his backpack again. Had he brought something else with him?

Seeing his uncle Rafa watch him, Noah explained what he’d brought. “We can read together.” He held out his favorite book. One they had read together before; Horton hears a who! Noah was back at Rafael’s side again and put the book on his own lap. He had changed his mind. “I’m gonna read.” He said determined and started.

Rafael yawned and shifted his body on the couch. He was warm and comfortable. Slowly he sat up. Not fully awake yet he noticed he was covered with a blanket and was holding a stuffed animal in his hand. Tommy. He remember immediately that Olivia and Noah had showed up at his door. His house was too quiet so he guessed the Bensons were gone. Nevertheless he called out for both of them, but it stayed quiet and he felt disappointed. On his coffee table he spotted the comic Noah had made for him. He thumbed through it again, sometimes tracing the drawn figures with his finger. Did Noah know what it meant to him that he’d made him this? Did Olivia know what it did to him? Did they know it made him love them both even more? He ran his hand through his hair. He missed them. More awake now he got up and moved around his apartment. Clearly Olivia had cleaned up. His living room was no longer cluttered and his kitchen was tidied up too. He was grateful for her help and their presence, but felt guilty too. He should have taken better care of himself. On his kitchen counter, next to his coffee machine there was note. Of course it was from Olivia and of course she’d put it next to his coffee machine knowing it was the spot to best leave him a note. It was an invitation to join as they went to the movies the following afternoon. He was happy that despite his behavior Olivia still wanted him to spend time with them. It surprised him that even their short visit had done him so much good. He’d slept for a couple of hours straight for the first time in days. Most importantly he felt a warmth within him that he’d missed. He sat Tommy down on the counter and prepared himself a cup of coffee. 

TBC...


	22. Movie date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael meets up with Olivia and Noah to go to the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since writing has been well I’ve decided to post the new chapter. This is chapter is to move the story along. I didn’t want to linger in the angst. Sure there are still things to deal with but I think part of dealing with it all is Rafael, Olivia and Noah spending time together. Olivia knows it’s what Rafael needs and it’s what they need. Plus I wanted Rafael and Noah to bond over something and that’s happening now and will be the subject in the next chapter too. I hope despite the fact that nothing really happens in this chapter you’ll still like it.  
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and commenting. I appreciate it.

They’d agreed to met up at the movie theater. He was a bit nervous. They hadn’t seen him at his best the previous day and that didn’t sit well with him. Impatiently he shifted on his feet. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and started pacing. He was doing better than yesterday. He knew the only reason for that was Olivia and Noah’s visit yesterday even if it had only been a short one, or at least that was what he assumed. He knew Olivia wasn’t happy with the distance he’d put between them. Then again he hadn’t been happy either when she’d kept her distance. He guessed that was their problem. They knew they could depend on each other, but apparently they couldn’t take that step when it mattered. Being vulnerable was hard for him and he guessed it wasn’t easy for her either. He was so used to dealing with everything on his own, to not show any weakness, that now when he no longer wanted to deal with it on his own, he didn’t know how to move forward. And when he did know, would Olivia still be there? Would she accept that vulnerability? And just as important, would she be willing to do the same? He shook his head. He was getting ahead of himself. He needed to take it one step at a time and that first step was enjoying his time with Olivia and Noah. 

Olivia was glad Rafael was joining them. Yesterday they hadn’t talked, she’d seen on his face that he hadn’t been in the mood. Instead she’d let Noah take the lead knowing that it was what Rafael needed. Her son always managed to lift her mood whenever she felt sad. She’d watched the two of them on the couch. Noah had been reading to Rafael when after a while Rafael’s soft snore alerted him his uncle had fallen asleep. He’d kept on reading though till Olivia had told him it was time to go. Together they’d covered Rafael with a blanket and she’d gently pushed him down on the sofa. She’d laughed softly at the way he’d held Tommy close against him. She’d resisted taking a picture but she was going to tease him about it at some point.

It was unexpected that she spotted Rafael first instead of her son. Noah was distracted by the movie posters. She stopped and watched Rafael. Clearly he was in deep thought. It even looked like he was mumbling to himself. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. 

“What’s uncle Rafa doing?” Noah had spotted his friend now too and just like his mother, with a similar head tilt he watched the scene in front of them.

“I don’t know sweetheart.” 

“Who’s he talking to?”

“I think himself.”

They watched Rafael a moment longer and just when they were about to walk up to him, he spotted them. He smiled and waved.

“Uncle Rafa.” Noah said after hugging the man. “Who were you talking to?” He grabbed his hand and looked up at him. 

They had caught him talking to himself. “Myself.” Rafael admitted sheepishly. He glanced from Noah to Olivia. He hadn’t really greeted her yet. “Hi.” 

She answered just as softly as he. “Hi.” She almost reached out to take his hand, but quickly decided against it. Instead she took a moment to look at him, really look at him. There was still some guilt in his eyes, but it wasn’t as evident as before. She was glad that he didn’t look as tired anymore either. 

Noah glanced from his mother to his uncle Rafa back to his mother again. He didn’t understand why they were staring at each other. “What are you doing? Are you playing a game?”

They both quickly looked away from each other. “No, sweetheart. We’re not playing a game.”

“Then what were you doing?” He questioned them.

“I was just saying hello to uncle Rafa.” 

Again Noah looked from one adult to the other. It seemed to him that saying hello shouldn’t take that much time. He shrugged. “Can you we inside now, Mami?” 

“Of course we can.” She turned to Rafael. “You ready to go?”

He gestured to the theater. “Lead the way Bensons.”

Rafael paid for the tickets despite Olivia’s objections. They compromised with Olivia buying the drinks and popcorn. Noah was excited and kept talking about the Lego movie they were about to see. They took their seats with Noah taking his spot between them. He insisted on keeping the popcorn on his lap, but Olivia decided against it, knowing Noah would eat too much. Another compromise was made which resulted in Rafael keeping hold of the popcorn. 

The movie had been a huge success. Noah kept on talking about it on their way back to the Benson’s apartment. Olivia grinned. Rafael was just as enthusiastic about it as her son. They were a few steps ahead of her, talking animatedly about all that had happened. Every now and then they stopped to talk about a specific moment in the movie getting even more animated about it with big gestures and excitement. Sure she had enjoyed the movie, but not as much as they had and she was happy that they could share it with each other. She was so glad to have Rafael in their life. She knew how much Noah adored him. He was the strong male figure that Noah needed in his life and he was the only one she wanted in that role. 

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t realize she’d stopped walking and was now further behind them. It was Rafael’s voice that brought her out of her reverie. 

“Hey, you coming?” He’d noticed she wasn’t behind them anymore. How he knew without looking back, he didn’t know, nor did he question that anymore. It was just something that was and he was more than okay with that. She seemed to be deep in thought. 

“Yeah.” She shook her head to clear her thought. “Yeah.” 

“I think we talked a bit too much about the movie for your Mami, amigo.” He ruffled the boy’s hair as they waited for Olivia to join them again.

“When we get home, can we play with my legos?” 

“Sure.” She agreed, falling back in step with them.

“Uncle Rafa too?”

“Euhh..” She hesitated. They hadn’t made any plans for after the movie. After seeing him yesterday she didn’t want him to feel obligated. If he was still tired, spending time with Noah might be too much. Especially when he was as enthusiastic as he was now. 

Rafael was just as hesitant. He didn’t want to impose himself and she hadn’t invited him. He did want to spend more time with the both of them because being with the both of them made him happy and he no longer wanted to deny himself that happiness. But only if she wanted him too and he was unsure of how to ask her if she was willing to let him in.

TBC...


	23. Noah, Rafael and their Lego.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Noah are fully invested in their Lego built. Olivia just sits back and enjoys watching them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since writing is still going well, I decided to add another chapter. Rafael and Olivia have a moment and Rafael and Noah enjoy Lego together.   
> To all those who are still hanging in there with me. Thank you! I really enjoy writing this one and it always makes me smile when someone leaves a kudos or comments.

“Please Mami can uncle Rafa stay? Please?” Noah pleaded to his mother. 

She smiled. “Sure.” She glanced over at Rafael. “If you don’t have any other plans?” 

He quickly shook his head. “I don’t. I just don’t want to impose.” 

“Never.” She said softly. She grinned at Noah’s cheering. She watched him grab Rafael’s hand and pull him forward. She heard him say that they had to hurry up. 

Fifteen minutes later Olivia opened her apartment door and Noah ran inside. “I’m gonna get my legos uncle Rafa.”

Both adults smiled at the little boy’s enthusiasm. “Thanks for coming with us.” Olivia said a bit timidly. Now that they were at her apartment and Noah wasn’t with them, she started to feel a bit unsure. 

“Thank you for inviting me.” He hung his jacket up. He followed her further into the apartment. “I... Olivia, thank you.”

“You already thanked me.” She walked into the kitchen. “You want something to drink?”

He shook his head. “I meant for coming to visit. I needed that more than I knew.” He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“For not keeping my promise to stay in touch.”

She waved it off. “There’s no need to apologize.” 

“There is.” He waited for her to look at him to be sure she meant what she’d said. When she did look at him he saw he’d hurt her just as he’d suspected. “I never meant to hurt you or Noah.”

“I know.”

“But I still did.”

She looked away from him. Yes he had hurt her and his absence, short as it was, had hurt Noah too. She heard her son making their way towards them. “Go play with Noah.”

“Liv.” He pushed away from the kitchen counter. 

“Uncle Rafa. I’m ready.” Noah skidded into the kitchen. “I put the legos on the floor.” He turned to the living room, but quickly turned back around again. “We can built the train and the train station.” He announced before disappearing to the living room. 

“Liv.” Rafael tried again. 

“Mami, can we put the railroad tracks down too?” Noah yelled from the living room.

She couldn’t help but smile at her son’s enthusiasm. Noah had the train and train station for a while now but so far hadn’t played with it yet. He’d told her it wasn’t the right time. Now it clearly was. It was good to see him like this again, her happy, bubbly son whom she had missed this week. “Go play with him. He missed you.”

“Okay.” Clearly she didn’t want to talk about this now because if she’d wanted to, she would have told Noah to start already and that he would join him in a moment. “Just so you know, I missed you both too.” He left her alone in the kitchen to join Noah in building the train station.

She stayed in the kitchen and mulled over his words. They angered her because if he’d missed them he would have been in touch and she would have been able to help him. She didn’t like how easy it had been for him to keep them at a distance even more so if he’d missed them. Maybe she should have tried harder? Did she even have any right to try? They were best friends, they were supposed to lean on each other. Right? And were they really just best friends? She had been thinking about them. How they just seemed to fit together. How next to Noah he was the most important person in her life. He was her rock and she counted on him in ways she’d never done before with anyone else. She wasn’t the best at showing that though. She needed to be better. 

She joined her son and Rafael in the living room a short while later. She couldn’t help but smile at two of them. Both were sitting cross legged, between them the paper with the building instructions of the train, and Rafael was busy sorting the different kind of lego bricks. She heard him explain to Noah that it was best to have it all separated because it would make the actual built easier. Noah, who was usually very impatient, nodded his head and helped him. Every now and then he would hold one up to Rafael and point something out on the instruction. Often Rafael responded with a nod and some other comment and they both continued sorting. It didn’t take them long and when everything was sorted they were both thrilled to begin the built. The train itself was their first project. Rafael let Noah take the lead. He helped him when Noah asked him a question, encouraged him when he doubted himself and when Noah struggled with a piece Rafael didn’t take over, he helped him find his way. She felt her heart burst with pride and love for the both of them. Noah had crawled over to Rafael and was no longer sitting opposite to him, but now next to him, leaning against his side.

“Uncle Rafa, you are really good at building.” Noah bumped his shoulder against Rafael’s side. 

Rafael copied Noah’s move, bumping gently against Noah’s side. “Thank you Noah. You’re really good too.”

“I bet you played with lots of legos when you were little.” Noah pressed the brick in its place. He checked it with the instruction once more and now confident it was in the right place, he looked up at the man next to him. 

“Not really. I didn’t have them when I was a kid.” Rafael had started unpacking the box with the train station. 

“Really?” Noah practically gasped. The idea of not having lego seemed unimaginable to him. “Why not?”

“We didn’t really have the money for it.” He hardly had any toys. His father had told him toys were a waste of money.

Noah seemed to mull over his words and an idea occurred to him. “You can have some of mine. Then you can play with them at home all the time. And I can come over and play with them.” He looked expectantly at the man next to him.

Rafael ruffled Noah’s curls and bumped his shoulder against him again. “That’s really sweet Noah. I can afford buying lego now. Next time you come over we’ll go buy some and then we can built it at my apartment.”

Noah cheered. “Really? You promise?”

“Yes I promise.”

“You’re the best uncle Rafa. I love you.” The boy got up on his knees, wrapped his arms around Rafael’s neck, hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. 

Briefly stunned by Noah’s affection Rafael quickly hugged him tight against his chest and kissed the top of his head. “Love you too, mi dulce Noah.” His voice rough from emotion.

TBC...


	24. Boys vs. Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah and Rafael enjoy building their lego train, train station and the tracks and Olivia enjoys listening to them. There’s some teasing, some banter and a questions, are boys the best or girls?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, kudos and comments. Still no idea where this is going. I just enjoy writing these three. I love writing the banter. I imagine that this can be a way how they find each other. That despite spending time together with Noah there they still have their moments together and I think these small moments are significant to them. Or at least that’s how I imagine it. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I can totally see Rafael and Noah connecting over building lego together.

“Are you going to join us?” Rafael looked over his shoulder to Olivia. She hadn’t said a word yet since their talk in the kitchen. He wondered if she was upset or maybe there simply wasn’t anything to say.  
  
She was comfortable on the couch reading a book and she enjoyed listening to Rafael and Noah even if she had hardly read a word. She’d spent most of her time watching the two interact. “No. I’m comfortable here and you boys seem to have it all under control.”  
  
“You can put down the tracks, Mami.” Noah briefly looked up from the train.  
  
“You two finish the train and the train station first. Then maybe I’ll help you.” She saw both were looking at her. “Unless you two boys need my help because it’s too difficult for you.” She teased and grinned at the immediate reaction of the both of them. Noah’s eyes got big and were full of disbelief and Rafael, Rafael squinted his eyes and glared at her.  
  
Rafael put his hand at Noah’s ear and whispered in his ear. “I think it’s too difficult for Mami that’s why she doesn’t want to help.”  
  
Olivia smiled at Noah who was giggling at Rafael’s words. She didn’t know what Rafael had said but Noah was nodding his head in agreement. She watched him copy Rafael by also putting his small hand at his ear. But Noah’s whisper wasn’t as real whisper.  
  
“Mami doesn’t follow the instructions.”

Rafael gasped in disbelief. “Liv, why would you do that?” 

It was true. She preferred to just start building. “Noah.” She teasingly admonished him. “Whose side are you on, my sweet boy?”

“Uncle Rafa.” He giggled happily, leaning his smaller body against the man next to him. 

“Ooh really?” She got on her feet. “Are you sure?” She took a step towards them, holding her arms out, wiggling her fingers. Noah knew what this meant.

“Noooo, Mami. Nooo, tickling.” Noah squealed even before his mother had started tickling him. Knowing what she was going to do was more than enough to get him moving. He threw himself into Rafael’s arms. “Help me uncle Rafa.” He clung to him, his hands fisted in the man’s sweater. He put his chin on Rafael’s shoulder to keep an eye on his mother. “She’s coming uncle Rafa.”

Rafael turned his body and moved Noah to his other side, keeping him just a bit farther from Olivia. He held him close. “I’ve got you Noah.” He grinned at Olivia. “He’s on my side, Liv. And when it comes to lego we’re the best.”

“Yes.” Noah agreed, but stayed safely in Rafael’s arms. 

“Just admit it.” Rafael provoked her. “Boys are the best.” He winked at Noah.  
  
Noah cheered, throwing his hands up. “Yes Mami.” He giggled again.  
  
“Ooh really?” No longer intent on tickling her son, Olivia stopped and put her hands on her hips. “You sure about that?”  
  
The two of them nodded solemnly.  
  
“What about the race track we built?”  
  
“That took really long.” Noah sighed.  
  
“Really?” Rafael chimed in. “How long?” He asked Noah.  
  
“The whole day!”  
  
Just like Noah Rafael sighed. “That’s really long.”  
  
“Hey,” Olivia pointed at Rafael. “You weren’t there mister. It could have been really complicated.”  
  
“Still a day is really long Olivia.” He turned to Noah again. “Did Mami start building without sorting and without following the instructions?”  
  
Noah looked at his mother as he spoke. “Yes.” He almost sounded exasperated.

She rolled her eyes and still smiled. She loved the banter. “Fine, you two. Go built and play. When it gets too difficult, you know where to find me and I’ll consider helping you.” 

“Mmm...I’m pretty sure we will manage.” Rafael couldn’t resist a final tease.

With his mother now safely back on the couch, Noah got back to his previous spot next to Rafael and continued with his train. Time went on with the both of them building. Only interrupting their built for a bathroom break or something to drink which Olivia provided them with. Assuming that Rafael was going to stay for dinner, because really her son wasn’t going to let him leave without having played with the train after the built of the train station and the tracks was complete, she’d left them alone to get some groceries. She got back with two bags of groceries and she wondered if Rafael and Noah had even noticed she’d been gone. When she’d left the apartment they’d muttered an absentmindedly bye and now she thought she heard a greeting but wasn’t sure. They’d finished the train station and were now busy laying the railroad tracks. It seemed like they were having a debate of what would be the most exciting trail. Olivia shook her head, laughed at their antics and made her way back to the kitchen. 

She was half way through her dinner preparations when Noah excitedly called out for her. Apparently she took too long because a few seconds later he skidded into the kitchen. 

“Mami.” He grabbed her hand. “You gotta come see.”

“One moment, sweetheart. Let me finish this.” 

Noah impatiently waited for her. He kept bouncing up and down. “Come on, Mami.” Clearly it was still taking too long.

“Okay, okay. I’m ready.” She quickly washed and dried her hands. She let Noah pull her towards the living room. Rafael was waiting on them, his arms crossed and tapping his foot. 

“What took you so long?” He smirked. He’d heard how impatient Noah had been. 

She chose to ignore him, but was pretty sure he saw her smile. She looked around the living room and was impressed. The track went under the coffee table and around the lamp. They’d made a cardboard box into a tunnel cutting holes on both sides. Eddie was sitting at the train station probably keeping an eye out that everything was safe. “This looks great you guys.” At the train station there was a small platform with some people on it and a rail road crossing which would make it safe for the people to cross. 

“Next time, we’re gonna built a bridge too.” Noah proudly said. 

“Does it work?” She asked it mostly because the train wasn’t moving, but also because she knew it would get a reaction out of them. 

“Does it work?” Rafael repeated her words, sounding indignant. He shook his head and sighed. “Ye of little faith.” He waved his arm to Noah. “Mister conductor, start the train.”

Noah grabbed the remote control from the floor and pushed the the green button expecting the train to start. It didn’t. He glanced over at Rafael who gave him a confident nod to try again. Noah scraped his teeth over his bottom lip and pushed the green button again. Nothing happened, the train stayed on the same spot at the train station. “Uncle Rafa?” He glanced over at the man. “Why isn’t it working?” 

This wasn’t exactly going as he’d thought it would and from the corner of his eyes he could see Olivia not trying to laugh and only barely managing it. “Okay, mmm.. let’s see.” Noah handed him the remote control. Rafael pushed the green button too and just like with Noah the train didn’t move.

“Did you follow the instructions?” Olivia couldn’t stop herself. She had a clue as to what might be the problem. 

Rafael rolled his eyes at her. “Of course we did.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Every step of the instruction?”

“Yes.” 

“Including the step where you had to the put the batteries in?”

“Euh, batteries?” He was pretty sure there weren’t any batteries. And to be honest he hadn’t really looked at the instructions for the remote control. Noah had been so excited to start laying the tracks that he’d quickly put the remote control together. 

“Yes.”

“There were no batteries in the set.” He turned to Noah. “Right Noah?” Had Noah maybe seen the batteries that he’d missed. Noah nodded his head in agreement. 

“That’s because they’re not with the set.”

“Ooh.” 

“Mami, do we have batteries?”

“Aah so now you two boys need my help, huh.” Maybe she was enjoying this teasing too much but she wasn’t going to let this chance pass her by. She turned on her heels. “I’ll be right back boys.” And just before she left them. “Guess you needed a girl’s help after all.”

TBC...


	25. There was a kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train finally works. Rafael and Olivia have a moment in the kitchen which Noah interrupts and Noah surprises them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a short chapter to move the story along. There needed to be a moment between Olivia and Rafael to remember they still have some things to deal with. I hope you like it.  
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and commenting. It’s always such a joy.

After she’d fixed the remote she’d handed the remote back to Noah. He immediately pressed the green button and the train started down the tracks. He cheered and watched it closely go over the tracks. Rafael seemed just as happy. And when the train went through the tunnel and came out the other side, Noah and Rafael high fived. “This is the best track ever.” Noah exclaimed.

“It’s great sweetheart.” Olivia hugged her son against her side and kissed his head. “Fifteen more minutes to play okay. Then dinner will be ready.”

“Okay, Mami.” He looked expectantly towards Rafael. “We’re gonna play some more, right?”

Rafael hesitated. He’d spend so much time with Noah while Olivia had been getting groceries and preparing food. Besides if they were about to have dinner, it was time for him to go. The least he could do is help her out with the last preparations. Maybe set the table? “I’ll go help Mami and then I’m gonna go home.”

“You’re not staying for dinner? Why not?” 

“Yes, uncle Rafa. Why not?”

Both Bensons were now staring at him. Noah had even momentarily forgotten about the train. “Well we only made plans to go to the Lego movie and now I’ve been here building all this with Noah.” He waved towards all they had built. “It seems too much.”

“Never. I counted on you for dinner. You can’t leave us with all this food.”

“You sure it’s no bother?”

“I’m sure. Now go play some more and I’ll call you both when dinner’s ready.” 

Whatever more Rafael might have wanted to say, he couldn’t say anymore because Olivia had already left them alone. Noah tugged on his hand and they were back to playing with the train set. After a while Rafael excused himself, seeing Noah was more than happy to play for himself for a while and walked into the kitchen.

“Hey.” He finally said when he realized she hadn’t heard him join her in the kitchen. “Is there anything I can help you with?” 

“You can set the table.” 

He went to work and mulled over his words. He wanted to talk to her about what they meant to him. He wanted to tell her about the guilt he felt and how he struggled with the failure. He knew though that she wasn’t going to push him. She would follow his lead. “Liv, I...” He started hesitantly. “Thank you for letting me spend time with you and Noah. I didn’t deserve that after being such a jerk.” He paused briefly. “I’ve never been good at sharing myself with others. I’ve always felt like I had to deal with whatever troubled me on my own. I guess I’ve gotten good at it.”

“Rafael.” She wanted to stop him. She didn’t want him to feel pressured into sharing anything. “You don’t have.”

“I know. It’s just that I want to.” He quietly said. He wasn’t sure how she was going to react to that. She would never hurt his feelings, nevertheless a gently dismissal would hurt. He continued setting the table and the longer she stayed quiet the more nervous he felt. Being vulnerable was difficult for him and previous experiences had taught him to avoid it. He was unsure how Olivia would react. Maybe it would be too much for her. “Maybe I should go.” He practically whispered. 

She’d turned around to watch him. His words surprised her as did his uncertainty. He seemed to be inordinately invested in setting the table. “Rafael.” Did he expect her to dismiss him? She would never do that. She knew this wasn’t easy for him to admit and she felt special that he was willing to share that part of himself with her. There was no need for him to hide. It was cute that he seemed to be unwilling to meet her eyes. She touched his elbow to stop him. “I’m always here for you for however much you want to share.”

He kept his head down. “What if it’s too much?”

“That’s not possible.” 

“You promise?” He knew he sounded like small child, but he needed the reassurance. 

Her hand slid from his elbow to his hand and she linked her fingers through his. “I promise.”

“Promise what?” Noah chimed in. He’d wandered into the kitchen without the two adults noticing. “Why are you holding hands?”

“I was just helping uncle Rafa setting the table.”

“Okay.” Noah shrugged. He didn’t understand why they had to do that holding hands. “I can help too.” 

“We’re all done. Can you go wash your hands?” She hadn’t let go of Rafael’s hand. She waited a moment for her son to leave them alone. She squeezed his hand. “Let’s enjoy dinner. We can talk tonight if you feel like it.” She felt him tense. “Rafael, there’s no pressure. I’m here if you want to talk, and if you don’t, I’m still gonna be here.” 

Dinner was simple, a pasta made by Olivia with a salad. It never was easy to get Noah to eat salad but with Rafael present and eating the salad Noah tucked in enthusiastically. Seemingly out of nowhere Noah had a question.

“How’s Tommy?”

Tommy the stuffed elephant that Noah had given him and which he’d brought with him into his bedroom. “Good. You sure you don’t want him back?”

Noah shook his head. “I have Eddie and you have Tommy.” He was about to take another bite when he had something else to say on the matter. “I like cuddling with Eddie.”

Rafel nodded. He looked over at Olivia who had a suspicious smile on her face. That wasn’t a good sign. He wondered if Noah had a question or if the topic of Eddie and Tommy was now closed. 

“I think uncle Rafa liked cuddling with Tommy too.” She smiled slyly at her friend. 

“Really?” Noah glanced from his mother, to Rafael and back to his mother who was nodding her head.

“Yeah. Remember when we stayed over at uncle Rafa’s place he was cuddling with Eddie?” Noah nodded. “And when we visited yesterday uncle Rafa was sleeping on the couch, right?” Seeing Noah nod again she continued. “Remember how he clutched Tommy close against him?” Again Noah nodded. “And uncle Rafa looked really comfortable?” Another nod. “That’s because of Tommy.”

Having Tommy close had unexpectedly brought him comfort. He’d woken up that morning with Tommy still clutched in his arm. 

“Yeah.” With his mouth no longer full, Noah could answer again. “Uncle Rafa didn’t even wake up when we left. Not even when you kissed him.” Noah surprised both adults with his words. 

TBC...


	26. Kissing, snoring and Ruth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner continues and there’s blue ice cream. Noah has some wisdom to share and Rafael has to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In no way is the name in this chapter meant to be political. I just thought it was funny and it fit Rafael and Rita. Rafael is leaving again because he has another meeting to go too. I thought that fit because Olivia and Rafael hadn’t agreed upon spending the day together and even though I want them to spend all their time together, share their lives, they still have their own lives. I know the idea of where Rafael is going is silly, but I like silliness especially because I can see both of them take it serious and they are very competitive. I hope that bit doesn’t throw you off.  
> It felt that the end of the previous chapter got people curious. I hope that the way I handled it, is okay.  
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos, commenting and hanging in there with me. Enjoy.

Shocked by her son’s words, Olivia almost choked on her food. She started coughing, tears forming in her eyes because of it. It took her some effort to recover. Her son’s pats on the back helping her only slightly. She glanced over at Rafael and if she hadn’t been coughing, she might have laughed.

Rafael had been about to take a bite when Noah mentioned the kiss and was now almost as still as a statue, just as shocked by Noah’s words. Olivia had kissed him? He’d been asleep when Olivia had kissed him? And even just as important, how come he hadn’t woken up when she’d kissed him. He had no memory at all of Olivia kissing him. Sure he’d had dreams and those were nice, some even more than nice, but he was certain no dream could come close to Olivia actually kissing him. 

“A...a.... A kiss?” Did he sound squeaky? He quickly coughed to cover it up. 

“Mami kissed you goodnight.” Noah explained unbothered by either of the adults reactions. “You kept snoring.” He added with a bright smile. 

Grateful for her son’s change of topic, Olivia immediately pick up on it. “Yeah, you were quite loud, Rafael.”

He was still thinking about the kiss that he’d missed that he hadn’t kept tracking of their conversation. “What?” He asked when both sets of eyes were looking at him. 

“You snore, uncle Rafa.” 

“I do not.” He declared.

“There’s no use in denying. We both heard you. Right, Noah?”

“You snore.” Noah said once more.

Rafael wasn’t going to let this one slide. Fine, he probably snored. “Okay, I probably snore.” But she had kissed him. “You kissed me.” He’d pointed at her with his fork which he’d finally moved again. He delighted in the slight blush that appeared on her cheeks. 

She tried to act nonchalant and shrugged. She didn’t quite know what had made her kiss him. She hadn’t really thought about it. It had seemed like the most natural thing to do. She’d intended it to be only a goodnight kiss, a kiss on his forehead. She’d brushed his hair from his face, leaned in and then she’d fore gone her intentions. On impulse, his scent and warmth a temptation she couldn’t resist, she’d softly traced his cheek with the top of her fingers and then leaned in, slightly brushing her lips over his, whispering good night. It really couldn’t be even called a kiss. She could see he didn’t believe her. “It was just a goodnight kiss.” 

“Ooh.” It was only a goodnight kiss. He felt much too disappointed by that than he should have been. For a moment he’d let his imagination get the better of him. He needed to change the subject completely and Noah was the perfect person to help him. 

Expecting all had been said about the topic of the kiss, Rafael and Olivia continued eating in silence. Noah threw them another curveball though. “Mami loves you, that’s why she kissed you.”

Stunned again by the boy, Rafael stared at Noah. Surely he had misunderstood. “Excuse me?” He looked at Olivia who was staring at Noah. And was she blushing again? 

“Mami says you only give kisses to people you love and at the zoo I asked Mami and she said she loves you. And now Mami kissed you.” Then he gave his uncle a wide smile. “You love us too, right uncle Rafa?” He remembered something. “You kissed Mami too. Here,” he pointed at his cheek, “on the cheek. He added another thought. “And I love you and Mami too.”   
Noah continued with his dinner oblivious to the adults who kept stealing glances at each other. Luckily Noah had still more than enough to tell Rafael about his adventures that week that the awkwardness that was about to set in, quickly dissipated. 

By the time they finished their dinner the kiss conversation seemed to have been forgotten. Rafael cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. “Dessert time?” He checked with Olivia. He was always ready for dessert. 

“Ice cream.” Noah, just like his uncle Rafa, was also always ready for dessert. 

“Sure.” Unlike her two companions she wasn’t a big dessert fan. Once in a while she had some ice cream, vanilla with chocolate chips and when she really indulged she added home made chocolate sauce. 

“What is this blue stuff? Is that ice cream?” Rafael held up a box. He eyed it with some wariness. Surely something this bright blue wasn’t edible. 

“Blue moon. It’s Noah’s favorite.” She couldn’t even describe what it tasted like. It was just pure sugary sweetness. She never let him have too much of it. 

“It’s smurf ice cream. You gotta taste it uncle Rafa. It’s really good.” 

Rafael looked over at Olivia who was shaking her head telling him to not try it. “No, that’s okay Noah. It’s your favorite and there’s not that much left.”

“We can share.” Noah slid two bowls forward. 

Olivia laughed into her hands. Her son was always willing to share, especially with his uncle Rafa. And Rafael had a hard time saying no to the little boy. Rafael was going to taste the blue moon ice cream.

“You want some sprinkles too? They’re in the cupboard.” It was the cupboard above the kitchen counter and not one he could reach. “Can we get sprinkles?” He looked towards his mother.

“Sure. Why don’t you scoop some in the bowl? Noah can only have one scoop.” Sliding her chair backward, Olivia got up to get the sprinkles. “You want sprinkles too Rafael?”

“Why not.” He eyed the blue ice cream as he swiveled the scoop through the box. Having made the perfect scoop he put it in the first bowl and slid the bowl over the table to Noah. For himself he prepared a much smaller scoop of ice cream.

“I’ve also got vanilla chocolate chip in there.” Olivia gave the sprinkles to Noah who immediately got some on his ice cream.

“You want some too?” Noah already held the jar with sprinkles above Rafael’s bowl. 

“Okay.” Maybe the sprinkles would make it taste better? “That’s more than enough, Noah, thank you.” It seemed that Noah thought more sprinkles was better. 

“You’re welcome, uncle Rafa.” He smiled widely.

“How about you? You want some of this blue moon ice cream?” 

She shook her head. “No ice cream for me today.”

“Do you like it, uncle Rafa?” Noah scooped up some more ice cream on his spoon. 

He really didn’t. It was just too sweet. Sure he had quite a sweet tooth, but this was too much. It didn’t even taste like anything and it was just so blue. “I...” He tried to search for the right words. He didn’t want to disappoint Noah. “It’s a bit too sweet for me.” He grinned at Noah. “How about you finish mine and I’ll go grab some of the vanilla ice cream.” He scooped the ice cream from his bowl into Noah’s. He glanced over at Olivia who shook her head but didn’t say anything. Noah didn’t mind at all. He was happy with the extra ice cream. 

Rafael was about to start on his bowl of vanilla chocolate chip ice cream when his phone rang. He excused himself to take the phone call in the living room. When he returned, Noah had finished his ice cream and Rafael’s had mostly melted. 

“You okay?” Olivia took the empty bowl from the table.

“Yeah.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I just, I have to go.”

“Is something wrong?” She quickly put the bowl in the dishwasher and walked over to him. 

“Nothing’s wrong. That was Rita. I need to go and pick her up.”

“Ooh.” She didn’t even try to hide her disappointment. 

“You gonna leave?” Noah was equally as disappointed as his mother. “But I thought we were gonna play some more.”

He looked from Olivia and Noah back to Olivia again. Having the two of them stare at him with those big eyes full of disappointment wasn’t fair. “I’ll make it up to you both.”

“Where are you going?” Noah was now at his uncle Rafa’s side.

“I’m just going to meet up with my friend Rita.”

“And do what?”

“Noah, uncle Rafa doesn’t have to tell us where he’s going.” Though she did indeed wonder why he was in a hurry to get to Rita.

Rafael mumbled something and because he did Olivia quickly jumped onto it. “What was that Rafael?”

He mumbled again and now she knew it must be something really good. “You’ve gotta tell us now.”

When it came to work he had no problem dealing with Olivia’s attempts to push the matter at hand. He always pushed back. However when it came to his personal life, he gave in much more easily. Mostly because he welcomed it despite the unease he sometimes felt because of it. The unease caused by his own difficulty to truly share himself with someone else. But he thought with Olivia and Noah he was getting better at it. “Every couple of months there’s a kind of lawyer pub quiz that Rita and I join and tonight’s another one. And we have to be there because we’re second and we’re really hopeful we can win this year.” He’d started off trying to be nonchalant about it but he quickly became passionate about it. 

Olivia laughed, this was quite the surprise. Clearly he was really into this quiz. Rafael and Rita together in a lawyer’s pub quiz. That was something she’d like to see. Surely that would have to be really competitive. “It’s a competition?”

“Yes.”

“How long have you two been part of this yearly competition?”

“Five years.” From the sparkle in her eyes it was clear how much she was enjoying this and she was so just so breathtakingly beautiful when she laughed. He had no problem at all being the subject of her teasing if it made her laugh like that. 

“Five.” This was too good. “You’re really committed to this then. And you’ve never won before?” She grinned at the shake of his head and his muttered no. She was all too familiar with his competitive streak. “Wow, then either you two aren’t as good as I’d expect you to be,” that got the reaction she wanted, a scowl,”or those other teams are just simply the best lawyers out there.” That earned her another scowl.

“No they were just lucky.”

“Sure.”

“Look, I have to go now. I’ve got to pick up Rita.” In the living room Rafael crouched down next to Noah who had gotten bored by all the talking. “I’ll see you soon.” He hugged him and kissed his temple. “Love you.”

“Love you too uncle Rafa.” Noah arms tightened around his uncle’s neck. “Thank you for playing lego with me. You’re really good.”

“Bye, amigo.” He gave Noah’s shoulder a gentle squeezed and stepped away. He enjoyed the quiz nights with Rita, but he much rather stay here with Olivia and Noah. 

In the hallway of her apartment, just as Rafael was about to leave Olivia had one more question about the quiz. “What’s your team name?”

Rafael groused and let his head hit the front door. He’d hoped the subject had been over and done with. He really didn’t want to tell her. He opened the door, but it was quickly pushed shut. By doing so she’d gotten into his personal space. He could feel her body heat and her soft breath brushed his neck, making him shiver.

“Name, Rafael.” She resisted nuzzling closer. “Otherwise I won’t let you leave.” Was that her voice that sounded husky? 

“Ruthless Bader Ginsbergs.” He admitted. 

The laughter bubbled up and out of her. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, grabbed his sweater in her hands and shook with laughter. 

“Rita came up with it.” Her laughter had turned into a girlish giggle and he relished it. As he did with the way she held onto him and was leaning against his shoulder.

She shook her head against him. “You love Ruth Bader Ginsberg.” She said between giggles. “Just admit it.”

“Rita wanted to go for Objection: Asked and Answered again, but that name hadn’t brought us any luck.” He really needed to leave. Rita already had been impatient. “I need to go, Liv.” 

She immediately stood straight up and let go of his sweater. “Of course. Sorry.” She glanced away briefly. “Well, good luck Ruthless Bader Ginsbergs.”

“Thank you.” He turned slightly towards her so he could look at her again. 

“Bye, Rafa.” 

He squeezed her hand. “Bye Liv.” He held on to her hand for as long as he could before he had to let go. He looked over his shoulder, gave her one last wave and walked away. 

TBC...


	27. Rita’s words of wisdom part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Rita to talk some sense into Rafael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Rita and I like writing Rita and Rafael. I imagine them having a real friendship that over the years has gotten stronger. They have each other’s back. Also I believe that Rita doesn’t take any of Rafael’s crap and she has no problem confronting him with that. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and comments. I hope you continue to like this. Even if there isn’t any Olivia and Noah in this chapter.

Rita and Rafael were at the bar nursing a celebratory drink. They had narrowly won this round, bringing them to a shared first place. Maybe they could actually win this year. 

“I heard about the case.” She knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it. He knew her well enough that she was at least going to mention it. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That never stopped me before.” 

He nodded in agreement. Hardly anything stopped Rita. He swirled his glass watching the scotch go round. He missed being with Olivia and Noah.

“You can’t win them all.”

“I needed to win this. You know the case. The stakes...”

Rita put her hand on his arm. “I know, but you know it was a Hail Mary which is exactly why they put you on it. You need to suck it up and stop drowning your sorrows.” 

“I haven’t.”

“Don’t even try. I know you Rafael. You drink, you isolate and ignore everyone.”

“I don’t get drunk.” He argued.

“I never said that.” She observed him. “You were chipper when you picked me up.”

“Chipper?” He looked at her. “You don’t use that word.”

“Well I am now.”

He looked at her glass. “How much have you had?” 

She shook her head. No, she wasn’t going to let him try to steer the subject to something else. “Why were you so chipper? And where exactly were you coming from?” Since he’d been late they’d rushed to the location and she’d mostly chastised him about being late and thinking he was unprepared.

“I wasn’t..., chipper.” 

It dawned on her. “You were with Olivia.” It was only a few seconds, it was the hint of a smile he tried to hide, it was the softening of his features, that was the confirmation. “You were.” 

His smile turned big. “I was.” He turned his body towards hers and he told her about how he had indeed isolated himself, had ignored Olivia and Noah and how he’d wallowed in misery. He told her about their visit, the comic and Tommy. Then he filled her in on their trip to the movie and the lego they’d built. When he finished Rita was staring at him. 

She was actually speechless. Rafael never shared a lot of himself and if he did it was usually after a lot of pushing from her side. Now he’d just freely filled her in on the time he’d spend with Olivia and Noah. And in the way he talked about them, his voice softer and gentler, his eyes warmer, it was obvious how much he loved them. It was strange to have him talk to open and freely about them and with such clear affection when before he always tried to shut the subject down. “You love them.”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, I really do.” It was the first time he’d admitted it to anyone but himself. If only he could gather enough courage to tell Olivia. 

“I’m glad you’re no longer in denial.” She ordered them another round of drink. “Now when are you going to admit your undying love to Olivia?”

“Rita, I can’t just do that.” He couldn’t just put his heart on the line. He needed more time. He needed some inclination that if he did so, his heart was safe with her. 

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Rafael, do you honestly think what you’re feeling is one sided?”

He tipped his head from side to side. “Maybe.” He thanked the bartender who put their drinks in front of them. 

“You can’t believe that.” She waited for him to say something but he didn’t. “How are you so insecure about this?” 

He looked away. “Because Olivia and Noah mean everything to me.”

“Then tell her that. You deserve to be happy.” She knew his insecurities. She softened her voice. “That happiness that they give you are within reach, but you have to reach out and give them a chance to take it. You have to have some faith.”

“You’re one to talk about faith.” Sarcasm was one of his go to modes when people got too close too the truth he tried to hide. 

The sarcasm had no effect on her at all, it never had. Her method was to keep silent, keep looking at him and he would cave in. “Faith has always been your problem, not mine.”

His phone chimed indicating a new message. He was glad. He didn’t know what to say to Rita. The message was from Olivia and Noah, a photo of the both of them in their pajamas playing with the train, wishing him a good night. In another one she asked if Ruth had brought him any luck tonight. 

“Olivia?” She asked even though she knew the answer.

Rafael nodded. He send her a quick answer, wishing her and Noah a good night too and confirming that Ruth had indeed brought them luck. He’d added that he missed them, but quickly deleted that before sending her the answer.

Seeing she had his attention again Rita pushed again. “What if she meets someone, Rafael? What if she meets someone and you have to watch her fall in love all because you were too afraid to take a chance.”

He’d thought about that particular scenario. Never for too long though because it hurt. “I want her to be happy.” If that meant stepping away he would.

Rita rolled her eyes. “Ooh stop being so self sacrificing.” She hit him on the shoulder. “I don’t want to deal with you all miserable and nagging to me about Olivia and her new lover.” As suspected he shuddered at her choice of words. Admittedly she didn’t know Olivia that well, but she was pretty sure there was hardly any chance that the scenario she’d just described, would actually happen. Maybe she needed to talk to Olivia on Rafael’s behalf. Just to let her know that she needed to give Rafael a bit more time but if she was willing too, it would be worth it. She wanted her friend to be happy. He deserved it and she knew only Olivia and Noah would be able to bring him that.

TBC...


	28. Rita’s words of wisdom part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita has lunch with Olivia and has no problem speaking her mind about the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that you enjoyed Rita talking to Rafael. Now Rita’s taken it upon herself to talk with Olivia. I hope you enjoy this part too. No Rafael or Noah in this one. But I think it was important that Rita had this talk with Olivia to move the story along. Rafael and Olivia sometimes need someone to talk some sense into them and Rita is the right person to do that.  
> Thanks for reading, leaving kudos and comments. Thanks for continuing to go on this journey with me.

She was half way through the week and already the paperwork on her desk was piling up. She loved almost every aspect of her job, everything but the paperwork. It seemed this week there was more than usual. It was also strange and even a bit frustrating that nobody was interrupting her. Why was it that when she didn’t want to be disturbed people seemed to walk in and out of her office and now when she just wanted someone to walk in, nobody seemed to be available. 

A while later there was finally a knock on the door. She looked up, grateful for the interruption, that was until she saw who it was. That most likely meant a new case. “Rita?”   
“Olivia.” 

“This is unexpected.” Olivia got up from her desk. 

“It is.” She didn’t know Olivia very well. That wasn’t entirely true. She knew quite a lot about her because Rafael talked quite a lot about her. Professionally she knew Olivia was a force to be reckoned with. Olivia was well known for her fight for justice for every victim and she would do whatever it took. It was what made her good, it was what made her someone you wanted on your side. Combined with Rafael’s drive it turned into cases she dreaded and looked forward to at the same time because she loved a good fight. It brought out the best in her. There had been a few times where she and Olivia had been on the same side. She’d even helped Olivia out. She’d gotten to know Olivia a little then, but overall their interactions had been mostly professional. It usually only got personal when the subject was Rafael. Olivia always liked to hear about their college days and she all too gladly shared those stories. “We need to go to lunch.”

“Excuse me?” She raised an eyebrow. She looked at her watch. As often happened she forgot about the time and saw that it indeed was past lunch time.

“You look hungry. Let’s grab lunch.” 

“Tell me about the case you’re here for.” Olivia leaned against her desk and crossed her arms. 

“There is no case.”

“So no case yet. Then what do you need me for?” 

“To go to lunch with me, a non work related lunch.” Rita clarified, hoping that now it was clear to Oliva that she wasn’t here on anything business related.

“You really came here to have lunch with me?” She still wasn’t entirely convinced. 

“Yes. Let’s call it a celebratory lunch.”

“Because you won the quiz.” 

“Yes.”

“The Ruthless Bader Ginsbergs won the quiz.” 

“Rafael told you about the name.”

She nodded. She grabbed her purse and coat. “He said you came up with it.” She saw Rita was about to protest. “I know it was Rafael. He admitted it.”

“Good.”

“He said Asked and Answered hadn’t brought you any luck and apparently Ruth is.” She hadn’t seen Rafael since the big lego adventure, but they had talked on the phone. He’d also talked with Noah. They’d been discussing their new lego project. A date and place had already been set. That Saturday, Rafael’s apartment. Lego was clearly their thing and she wanted them to have their time together. Noah was already counting the days. It was a boy’s day as Noah had started calling it and no girls were allowed. Rafael had invited her too, but she’d declined. It was clear Noah needed this, male bonding or boy bonding or whatever to call it. She hadn’t realized how much her son needed this. She tried to give him everything he needed but this she couldn’t give him. And no he hadn’t been worse for it without it, but she could clearly see how much good Rafael’s attention did him. He spoke his mind a bit more, never in a rude way, stood a bit straighter. Spending time with Rafael seemed to make him more confident about himself and she applauded that. It seemed that Rafael brought the best out of her son and herself too. 

“Maybe.” 

After taking their seats, ordering their drinks and food, and some small talk, Rita felt it was time to get down to business. “You and Rafael have been spending quite some time together.”

Thinking nothing of it, Olivia merely nodded and waited for Rita to continue. It wasn’t uncommon for them to talk about Rafael. 

“He won’t tell me what’s going on between you two. I suspect that’s because he doesn’t know the answer to that question and doubt you do either.”

Olivia shifted in her seat. Clearly this was the reason Rita wanted to have lunch. She knew Rita was protective of Rafael. 

“You’ve been playing family, the three of you, but you’re not a family are you?” 

Well, Rita never did beat around the bush. Before Olivia could say anything, Rita was already talking again. “And to a certain point I suppose that was enough. But is that still the case?” 

“Did Rafael say something to you?” She wondered where this was coming from. She imagined that to the outside world they did indeed appear to be a family and they were, just not a traditional family. Not that that meant anything. Fin, Sonny and Amanda were her family too. Admittedly Rafael didn’t fit in the same category as the others. Rafael was a category on his own, a far more complicated one. When she thought of Rafael and family it entailed so much more, all of which she was afraid to voice. 

Rita chuckled. “I wish you two could just admit to what’s right in front of you.”

“I don’t know..”

“Don’t give me that.” Rita waved whatever objection she was going to make away. She wanted to say more, but the waitress showed up with their lunch. She waited for her to leave to continue. “I’m guessing neither of you is willing to take a risk. Look you know Rafael. You know you’re one of the few people in his life that he truly shares himself with. And you know how important you and Noah are to him. I’d even say you are vital to his well being. But he won’t say that because all that matters to him is your happiness and for some strange reason he’s got it in his head that you’ll find more happiness with someone else. He won’t offer you all of himself without some inkling that you’re open to that because he’s only ever done that one time before and he barely recovered.” 

Olivia rubbed her forehead and processed Rita’s words. She actually preferred paperwork over this. It wasn’t easy to hear what Rita was saying. The truth never was even if it offered her a glimpse into Rafael’s feelings. Her problem was that Rita was saying it and not Rafael. How could he not know how important he was to her? That he made her happy, that when he smiled at her her heart skipped a beat. When he walked into a room it was only him that she saw and with him at her side, she felt invincible. “I need him to tell me that.” She said quietly. “I’m scared too. I can’t..., I need to know my heart and Noah’s heart are safe with him.”

“Then ask him.” If neither was ever going to take a chance, this limbo could take even more years than it already had. “I’ll tell you what I told him. What if he meets someone and you watch him fall in love all the while knowing you could have been with him if you’d just had the courage to take a chance.”

She couldn’t argue with that. Rita was right. “All I want is for him to be happy. If he finds that with someone else then who am I to interfere?” 

“Ooh for crying out loud.” Rita threw down her fork and knife. “What is it with you two? Do you truly think that either of you will ever be as happy as you are with each other? Get your act together. I’m not going to keep doing this.” She should have had alcohol with her lunch. 

Clearly Rita had no more to say on the topic and Olivia had more than enough to think about, the rest of the lunch was spend talking about the quiz. At the end, after paying for lunch and just before parting ways, Olivia had one more thing to say on the topic. “I never knew you to be such a romantic, Rita.”

“And I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Cats out of the bag now.” She paused for a moment. “Thank you, Rita.” 

“Just don’t make me attempt this again, though don’t think I won’t if you two keep playing this game. Then I’ll find a way to lock you in a room till you two finally talk about it.”

“Duly noted.”

TBC...


	29. Difficult choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With so many things to choose from, Rafael and Noah need to make a difficult decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just going to apologize already, this chapter does not have the resolution you might have expected. I believe both need time to think about what Rita has said, I don’t think they would make any big decisions. However I do believe that it has led them to try to push the boundaries a bit more. None of that though in this chapter. This is all Rafael and Noah. I hope that’s still enjoyable.   
> Thank you for all who are still hanging in there with me.

Something was up with her. She’d been hesitant, maybe a even a bit unsure around him and he didn’t know what had led to that. He guessed that to anyone else nothing seemed off with her. But he wasn’t anyone else and something was going on. There was something in those big brown eyes of her that lingered on him a bit longer than usual and there seemed to be a constant question in her eyes but she never voiced whatever she was wondering about.  
When she’d dropped Noah off at his apartment at that morning he’d invited her in for a drink, hoping it would prompt her to tell him what was on her mind. She’d declined. She told him to give him a call when she could pick Noah up again. He’d told her Noah was more than welcome to sleepover if she was okay with that. With Noah already cheering Olivia agreed, telling him she would drop by to bring his clothes later that day. With a kiss for Noah and a soft goodbye for him she’d left. 

At the moment he was standing in a big toy store with Noah at his side. When walking in he’d told Noah to keep hold of his hand and not run off. If he wanted to see something he only had to say so and they would go there. Noah hadn’t let go of his hand yet. He suspected by now they had seen almost every isle. Noah had wanted to see it all. He was surprised the boy hadn’t asked for anything yet. He pointed out the things he liked or thought were cool, but never once had he asked him for anything. Finally they arrived at the isle with all the lego. Both looked at it in awe. Together they took their time inspecting all the different choices. After a while where Noah had hardly said a word, he finally spoke up.

“There’s too much uncle Rafa.” He felt a bit overwhelmed. He wanted to choose something really good to built with his uncle, but it was hard with so many to choose from.

Rafael nodded in agreement. “Okay, so let’s narrow it down.” Seeing Noah’s confused look he knew he needed to explain. “Some of these you don’t like, right?” Noah nodded. “We forget about those.” He looked at the shelves. “What about the ones you do like.”

“I like the trains.”

“But you already have a train set at home.”

“I like race cars.”

“Mami already bought you one of those too, remember.”

“What do you like uncle Rafa?”

“Maybe we can start with creating a city?” There were multiple options and they could built all different kind of buildings and cars and could easily expand it. He also liked the Star Wars themes Lego but didn’t know if Noah would like it. Maybe in the future he and Noah could start watching the Star Wars series together. He’d read somewhere there was also a kids series. Maybe they could watch that. He’d have to discuss it with Olivia. “They have all kinds of things. A garage, a fire house, gas station, a...”

“Look, a donut shop!” Noah held the box up. “They have a big donut, a toy shop and look even a coffee shop. You like coffee, right?” Noah continued, pointing out the several items on the box. “Here’s a taxi and a police bike and a big truck.”

“That looks great.” He hadn’t even spotted the donut shop. He’d been taking a closer look at the gas station. “You sure it’s this one you want? You don’t want to look around some more?”

Noah shook his head. “I like this one. You like it too, right?” He checked again.

“I do.”

“Mami says you like sweets and coffee.”

Rafael smiled, there was no denying that. He wondered what else Olivia told Noah about him. “I do.” He put his hand on Noah’s shoulder and took the box from him. “Time for lunch?”

Noah cheered. “Can we visit your friends?

“My friends?”

Noah reached for Rafael’s hand again. He hadn’t remembered the names. “Where you took Mami and me. Do you think they have French fries?”

He immediately knew who he meant, tia Mila and tio Luis. It really made him happy that Noah wanted to go back again and he was more than happy to oblige. “I’m sure they have French fries. Let’s go find out.” 

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah munched on a fry. 

“Noah, don’t talk with your mouth full.” He admonished gently. They were seated in the same booth as when they had first visited. His tia Mila hadn’t even tried to hide her excitement. She had hugged him and Noah. She’d even joined them in the booth for a brief moment. Luckily his tio Luis had interfered and drawn her attention to the other customers. 

His mouth now empty Noah asked his question. “Uncle Rafa, can you help me?”

“Of course.” 

“But you don’t know what it is.”

“I’ll always help you, hombrecito.”

Noah got up on his knees. “I wanna buy Mami a gift.” He pointed at his backpack. “I brought my money. Can you help? I wanna buy something really pretty ‘cause Mami’s the best.”

He could only agree with that. “Your Mami is the best.” Noah was such a sweetheart wanting to do something special for his mother. “What do you want to buy?”

“Something pretty.” Noah ate some more of his French fries. Suddenly he slid down his seat and grabbed his backpack.

Rafael watched the scene with a raised eyebrow. He was just about to ask Noah where he was going when the boy climbed in next to him. Rafael shifted to the side a bit to give him some more room. 

“Mami says I can’t spend money on my own and I can’t spend the money on something silly. I wanna buy something really nice. But I don’t know how much I have. Money’s difficult.” His voice got softer, smaller even. “Can you help me count?” Noah played nervously with one of the straps of his backpack. 

Rafael ruffled Noah’s hair. “Of course. We’ll finish our food and then we’ll go see what we can find for Mami.” 

TBC...


	30. A bag and a lunch encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Noah find a bag for Olivia. Olivia is having a day out with Amanda and Melinda. As they are about to have lunch they bump into some familiar faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted others to see Rafael, Olivia and Noah together. Plus I wanted them to have a moment together even if they’re spending their day separately. That’s why this chapter is here. So not much special happens. Just going through their day.  
> Thank you for those who continue to hang in there with me. I promise you they will kiss. I’ve even written their kiss...it’s just going to take a few more chapters. I hope you’ll hang in there with me.

After counting Noah’s money, which turned out to be about 15 dollars, Noah was disappointed. He wasn’t sure if he could buy his mother anything really nice with only 15 dollars. But his uncle Rafa told him not to worry about that.

Rafael took Noah to a department store, thinking that was easiest because Noah didn’t know yet what he wanted to give his mother. They could look around seeing all kinds of different things without having to go from store to store. Just like in the toy store the amount of choices overwhelmed Noah a bit. There were so many things he liked. At first he wanted to give her a necklace, then a scarf. He changed his mind again and wanted a picture. Then he saw a blouse and a coat. Rafael steered him away from clothes, explaining that Olivia would need to try them on first to see if they fit before they could buy them and that would ruin the surprise. After much back and forth they decided to give her something that she could use every day. Rafael had noticed that Olivia’s handbag looked worn down. He suggested it to Noah who liked it but didn’t believe that he had enough money to buy a new bag. Once again Rafael told him not too worry. With Noah now agreeing on a new handbag Rafael knew just the boutique to find a new bag for Olivia. It was a small store with enough choices but not too much to overwhelm Noah. They had also been walking around for a while now, even though they had lunch, he didn’t want to take too much time just in case it took too long for Noah and he got tired.

At the boutique Noah immediately liked the brightly colored bags that were displayed. Noah spotted a mint brown straw tote bag with blue sea turtles on it that he loved. Rafael liked the bag too, especially since it wasn’t as brightly colored as the other ones Noah had pointed out earlier. But the bag wasn’t practical. There weren’t many pockets and he knew that to be a requirement. A while ago he’d mentioned to Olivia that she might be due a new bag and she’d told him that it wasn’t easy to find a good bag which had enough pockets. Apparently she needed a lot of pockets for all kinds of items. He’d stopped himself from asking what kind of items she was referring too. 

“What about this one, uncle Rafa?” Noah pointed at a cotton quilted tote bag with a sea life theme. It was white with blue turtles, a reddish pink octopus and a crab, and blue seahorses. The zipper and the seams were in the same reddish pink color as the octopus and crab. The pattern wasn’t too busy and the sea animals were all small. It was actually a really nice bag. It was brighter than something he guessed Olivia would have picked but he was pretty sure she would like it. Plus Noah was really enthusiastic about this one. Just to be sure Rafael checked if it had enough pockets and it seemed like it did. 

“It looks great, Noah.”

“Can we buy this one?”

“You sure?”

Noah nodded firmly. “I like the colors and turtles and Mami likes turtles too.”

“I think you picked a great one. I’m sure Mami will love it.” Rafael took the bag and handed it over to Noah.

At the counter Noah, with help from Rafael, lifted the bag on the high counter. Noah took his backpack off and opened it. He found the money he and Rafael had counted together and put it on the counter. The woman at the check out asked them if was a present.

“Yes, it’s for my Mami.” He confirmed with a big smile. “I saved money.” He said with pride. He looked up at the man next to him who nodded encouragingly at him. He pushed the money as far forward as he could. 

“I’m sure your mom’s gonna love it.” The kind lady smiled and started gift wrapping the bag. With Noah briefly distracted Rafael took Noah’s money from the counter and hid it in his coat. He didn’t want the boy to spend all his saved money on his mother. He knew Olivia wouldn’t want him to either. This way Noah still had money left in case he wanted to buy something else in the future. He would give it back to Olivia later that day. 

They were finally on their way back to his apartment. Noah had his backpack on and held Rafael’s hand tightly. Rafael held the shopping bag with Olivia’s gift and the shopping bag which held the lego donut shop they’d bought too. He could tell Noah was a bit tired, but he was still cheerful. Luckily the walk to his apartment was a short one. 

Amanda, Melinda and Olivia were about to have lunch. After quite some shopping it was finally time for a late lunch. Melinda suggested a small bakery that she knew. They were seated at the window, several of their bags propped up under their table and a few more against the window. 

“Is that Noah?” Amanda asked, pointing in the direction she saw the familiar boy with his curly hair coming their way. Then she spotted the man next to Noah. Was that Rafael Barba and was he holding Noah’s hand? She immediately turned to Olivia. “You didn’t tell me Noah was with Rafael.” Her tone accusing. 

Melinda was already on her feet and out the door. “Noah.” She waved at the boy who was now only a couple of feet away. 

“Aunt Melinda.” Noah waved back. 

“Mr. Barba.” Melinda now greeted the lawyer. She didn’t know Barba that well and didn’t know how he felt if she called him Rafael. 

“Melinda.” He nodded in greeting. “Call me Rafael.” 

“You having fun, Noah?”

Noah immediately began to tell about his day. He was distracted by a knock on the window. He looked around Melinda and saw his aunt Amanda and his mother. He quickly let go of Rafael’s hand and stormed inside. 

Rafael and Melinda followed at a more leisurely pace. Inside Noah gave Amanda a quick hug before hugging his mother and giving her a kiss. 

“Sweetheart, what are you two boys doing? I’d expected you’d be busy building already.” She held her son against her side, her arm wrapped around his shoulder. She greeted her friend, delighted to see him. His hair was messy, his green eyes were bright and relaxed. He was wearing jeans, sneakers, she guessed a polo shirt from the looks of it and a worn brown leather jacket. She’d seen him in casual clothes multiple times now, but that didn’t mean her stomach didn’t flutter. 

Noah looked at Rafael for help. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise. Rafael quickly helped him out. “Well there’s a lot of Lego to choose from and we needed time to make the right decision. Then we got hungry and decided to have lunch.”

“We went to tia Mila and tio Luis.” Noah added. “I had French fries.” 

The names only meant something to Olivia and the familiarity in which Noah called them tia and tio was a surprise yet further proof that her son was spending a lot, maybe too much, time with Rafael. 

“Remember we weren’t going to tell Mami that we had French fries with lunch.” He winked at Noah who started giggling. “Seems like you three have had a successful day so far.” He’d seen the bags when he’d stepped inside. Though he referred to the three women, he only had eyes for Olivia, his head tilted to the side, watching her talk with Noah. He watched her tuck her hair behind her ear and laugh at something Noah was telling her. Once again he was struck by her beauty. He wished he could walk up to her, hold her close and kiss her hello. And then he would kiss her again, just because he could and because he knew he would never get enough of her. 

“Did you find a new lego project?” 

Noah nodded so hard that his little body shook. “We got a donut shop with this big donut.”

“That sounds great. But,” she said pointing at Rafael. “be careful uncle Rafa doesn’t eat all the donuts.”

Noah giggled at Rafael’s indignant hey and giggled even more when Rafael started tickling him. When his giggles turned into hiccups Rafael immediately stopped, crouched down and rubbed the boy’s back till he calmed down. “You okay, mi dulce niño?” 

“Can we go home now, uncle Rafa?”

“Of course.” He could see from the way Noah was leaning against him that he boy was getting tired. He stood back up again and reached for Noah’s hand who immediately grabbed his. “Ladies, have a nice lunch. We have some important building to do.”

TBC...


	31. Without due process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melinda and Amanda have some questions for Olivia. Olivia and Rafael exchange text messages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since writing went well this weekend I thought I’d end the weekend with an update. 
> 
> I thought, so far, Noah has been really sweet, but he’s a kid and he can get cranky too. I wanted a situation where Rafael had to deal with a cranky, tired Noah because he has to learn to deal with that Noah too after all. I decided to do it like this.  
> Melinda and Amanda have some questions for Olivia, but I also didn’t want them to push her. I don’t think they would do that, yet they observe and know enough through those observations.  
> Well I hope you like the chapter. Thanks for reading, the kudos and the comments. They make me very happy.

They’d waved Noah and Rafael goodbye and Amanda immediately turned on her seat towards Olivia. She’d closely observed the interaction between Noah, Rafael and Olivia and she was intrigued. She hadn’t known those three had become so close. Much more interesting though were the furtive looks Olivia and Rafael kept giving each other. 

“I didn’t know you and Rafael were so close.” Melinda was the first to comment. “And that he’s so great with Noah.”

“Since when did you start to spend so much time together?” Amanda chimed in. Granted her boss and the ADA had always been comfortable around each other, but what she’d just witnessed was a whole new level of comfortable and something else entirely. Something she wasn’t sure what to name.

Seeing two sets of eyes focused on her Olivia shifted uncomfortably on her seat. “I guess it just sort of happened.” She wasn’t going to tell them about Noah calling Rafael in the middle of the night. “He and Noah just connect. Noah absolutely adores him.” 

It was clear that Noah wasn’t the only one who adored Rafael. Amanda decided against voicing that particular thought. “Well you found a great new babysitter.”

Olivia laughed. She could imagine Rafael’s indignant reaction. “I’m not sure he’d be pleased with that description.”

Melinda took the opportunity Olivia provided. “And how would you describe it?” She’d only even interacted with the ADA in a professional capacity and it was clear he was good at his job. He fought for justice for the victims, but she didn’t know him at all. It was nice to see this open, relaxed and sweet side of him opposed to the serious side she saw at work. She knew Olivia and Rafael were close and she knew they spend time together outside of work. To actual witness the closeness they had and even the little family they were clearly forming that was something else. She’d never seen Olivia light up quite like that the moment she saw Rafael and Noah. Part of Olivia was always guarded and over the years that guard had come down little by little but never completely. It seemed that Rafael Barba was one of the select few with whom she let her guard down. 

Olivia thought about that question for a moment. It was surprisingly easy to answer. “He’s my best friend and Noah’s favorite person.” She smiled and twirled her hair. “Last weekend they spend the entire afternoon paying with Lego. Whenever Noah got confused Rafael didn’t take over and fix it, he helped Noah figure it out, encouraging him every time. Noah was so proud of himself. He’s a great influence on Noah. I’m so grateful for having him in our life.”

Amanda and Melina looked at each other, both surprised by Olivia’s openness and the clear affection for the lawyer. Both knew if they were to comment she would immediately close up. 

“I’m glad he’s there for you and Noah.” Amanda decided it was probably best to change the subject. “Let’s order. I need drinks, food and then some more shopping. And contrary to you my babysitter actually has to leave in a couple of hours.” 

They had just finished their lunch when Olivia’s phone chimed. She was reluctant to check the message. Even though she wasn’t scheduled to work today, there was always a chance that she could get called in. Which is why she had to check the message. Luckily it wasn’t work. It was Rafael and it was a picture of her son sleeping on the couch, a blanket draped over him, holding Tommy close. 

_After a little tantrum he’s fallen asleep. I guess the donut shop has to wait. Don’t worry the donuts are still all there. By the way he’s confiscated Tommy. That’s a misdemeanor._

She replied. _You’re going to prosecute?_ Her son had hardly slept, too excited to spend the day with Rafael. That combined with what apparently had been a thorough search for the right project, her son was probably exhausted and that often led to a rollercoaster of emotions from high to low or the other way round. She wondered how Rafael had dealt with it.

_Already done_. At his apartment Rafael prepared himself a cup of coffee. Waiting for the coffee he glanced over at Noah who was fast asleep. He’d felt out of his depth when Noah had gone from being a ball of energy to starting to cry. He knew exhaustion was the cause. Upon entering his apartment Noah had left his bag in the middle of the floor and his shoes somewhere near the couch. He’d jumped upon the couch and kept on jumping despite several of his attempts asking him to stop. Then Noah had lost his balance, fallen down on the couch and in doing so swept a picture frame from the end table. Afraid that he’d hurt himself Rafael had raised his voice and told Noah to stop, sit down and not to move. At that point Noah had started crying and while he’d wanted to comfort the boy he first needed to pick up the glass from the broken picture frame. Luckily the picture, of his abuelo and abuelita, was undamaged. Then he’d sat down next to Noah and admonished him for not listening and breaking the picture frame. That had caused Noah to cry even harder and apologize between sobs. He’d tried to comfort Noah but the crying didn’t stop. Slightly panicked and unsure of what to do next Noah had asked for Tommy. Only shortly after that and with Tommy now in his arms the boy had fallen asleep and he’d shifted Noah on the couch and covered him with the blanket. His phone beeped again.

_Without due process?_

He grinned. _Yes because if he’s awake I’m not strong enough to prosecute._

Back at the bakery Melinda and Amanda were waiting for Olivia to join them. She was still on her phone and clearly not paying any attention to her surroundings. She hadn’t noticed yet that Melina and Amanda had already moved to the exit. The two women shared a smile. 

_And the verdict?_

She laughed at his reply that she got a few seconds later. _No ice cream for dessert and no cookies_. She knew it would do the trick for her son. He would know he’d gone too far. 

“Come on Liv, stop texting with your man. We’ve got some shopping to do.” Amanda called out. She was certain that if she didn’t, they could be standing and waiting there for a long time. 

“I’ll be right there.” Olivia held up her hand. She had to answer his text. _You know you’re punishing yourself with that too. If Noah can’t have any, neither can you._

TBC...


	32. A phone call and a talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah calls his mother and Noah and Rafael have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Olivia, Rafael and Noah are still apart. I hope that doesn’t mean you don’t like this chapter. Noah is still worried about what happened in the previous chapter and wants to solve it. He also has an important question for his uncle Rafa and Rafael tries to answer it as best as he can. Next chapter Olivia will join her boys again. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for those who keep hanging in there!

After his nap Noah was timid around Rafael. He wasn’t his usually cheery self. Rafael didn’t want to press. He wanted Noah to feel comfortable to talk to him at his own pace. But he also felt the need to check if the boy was okay. They were on the floor with the bricks sorted and ready for the built.

“You know you can tell me anything, mi dulce Noah.”

Noah nodded. He shifted a bit closer. “I’m sorry uncle Rafa. I don’t want you to be mad at me.” 

“I’m not mad, Noah.” He cupped the boy’s cheek briefly. “You need to be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s why I raised my voice.” He had something else to add. “Next time something like that happens, promise you’ll stop when I ask. I don’t like raising my voice to you. And no more jumping on the couch.”

Noah nodded his head hard. “I promise uncle Rafa.” 

There was still one matter to discuss. “One more thing. Because you didn’t listen no cookies and ice cream for you tonight.”

“Ooow...” Noah sulked. “But...”

“No, Noah.” It wasn’t easy being stern when Noah looked at him, his big blue eyes pleading with him.

“‘Kay.” 

“Good.” He kissed Noah’s hair. “Now you get started and I’m gonna get us something to drink.” 

“Can I have hot chocolate milk?”

“Sure thing, mi niño.” He ran his hand over Noah’s hair. “Be right back.”

Alone in the living room, Noah got up on his feet and walked to the picture that was on the end table. Next to it was the broken frame. “Uncle Rafa?” He called out. 

“Yes, Noah?”

“Can I call Mami?”

Rafael returned to the living room. “Sure. Is something wrong?” Did Noah want to leave because he’d raised his voice and had admonished him?

“No. I just wanna call Mami.”

He didn’t know what was going on but he also didn’t want to keep him from calling his mother. He got his phone and hit Olivia’s number. “Here you go.”

“You can’t listen uncle Rafa.” Noah turned his back.

Perplexed he watched Noah walk away. His instinct was to follow to be sure nothing was wrong. He couldn’t do that though. He had to trust that if something was truly wrong Noah would tell him, despite all that had just happened. 

Olivia was just about to step into a dressing room to try a dress when her phone rang. Once again she thought it was work. She was wrong again. It was Rafael.

“Rafael?” She hung her dress up on the coat rack and closed the dressing room curtain behind her. 

“Mami.” 

“Noah?” There was a brief panic. “Is something wrong with uncle Rafa?” Was that why her son was calling her? She grabbed her purse.

“I did something bad, Mami.” He admitted softly. 

“I’m sure that’s not true. Tell me first, is uncle Rafa okay?” She needed a confirmation. If she didn’t she was about to bolt out of this store. 

“Yes.”

She could relax. “Tell me what happened, sweetheart.”

Noah rushed through the events. He didn’t give Olivia a chance to interrupt. He ended with the reason for his phone call. “I wanna give uncle Rafa a new picture frame. Can you please get one Mami to give to him tonight? Please?” 

She would get him that picture frame, but first needed to talk to her son about what happened. “Noah, if you can’t behave I’m not gonna let you have your sleepover.”

“But Mami.” Noah started to tear up. “I wanna stay with uncle Rafa. I said I’m sorry, Mami. It’s not gonna happen again. I promise. Please Mami. I wanna give uncle Rafa a new picture frame.”

“I’ll buy a new picture frame.” She smiled at his cheer. “But, no promises on the sleepover yet. I’ll check tonight with uncle Rafa if you’ve been a good boy.” 

“I can stay if I’m good?”

“No promises sweetheart. I’ll see you tonight. Be good for uncle Rafa.”

“Kay. Bye Mami. Love you.”

She shook her head. Her son had already hung up, not giving her a chance to respond. Well she was buying a picture frame for Rafael. She was probably going to buy a few because she had no idea what size of frame was needed. 

Rafael had tried to get Noah to talk about his call to his mother. He tried several times but Noah kept shaking his head and didn’t say a word about it. He had Olivia’s determination. Eventually he gave up because Noah appeared to be fine. He was happy and animated again. Plus Noah made it clear the donut shop needed to be built and he was more than happy to do so.

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah piped up after a while. 

Rafael looked up at Noah and waited for the boy to continue.

“You know how you love Mami and me?” 

Rafael hummed. Yes he did love them. He was curious where Noah was going with this. 

“And you know how Mami and I love you?”

Rafael nodded but stayed silent. Noah had told him he loved him quite often now and it always filled his heart with warmth. He watched Noah putting the truck together. After putting the wheels on the truck, Noah tested it. Whatever he expected Noah to say, what he ended up saying was out of left field for him.

“Then we’re a real family and a real family live all together in one home, right? Can we live in your home?” Noah looked at the man next to him, his sky blue eyes full of hope, eager for confirmation.

Not for the first time he was at a loss for words. Both mother and son seemed to have that effect on him. He shouldn’t have been surprised that this had been on Noah’s mind, nor that he thought of them as a family. It was exactly what they appeared to be to anyone who didn’t know them and maybe even to the people who knew them. Admittedly it was on his mind too, the family bit the living together not so much yet. Spending days like this with Noah and Olivia only made him yearn for more days like that. The answer to Noah’s question though was complex and far from easy and something he hoped to talk about with Olivia at some point. For Noah he needed to leave the intricacies out of it. He saw the hopeful look in the boy’s eyes. How to keep it easy, he didn’t know. He felt that the longer he took to answer, the hopeful look would evaporate from his eyes. He needed try to keep it simple or maybe divert his attention a bit.

“What about your home? That’s where you and Mami live, where Eddie lives.”

Noah shrugged. “But you’re here.” He looked around. “I really like it here.”

“And what about Mami? I bet she likes her home and doesn’t want to move.”

Noah contemplated that. He hadn’t really considered what his mother would want. All he wanted was for them to spend more time as a family. “But we’re a family.” 

“We are, Noah and we always will be. But we don’t have to be living together to be a family.” His voice was gentle and soft as he explained it. 

“Okay.” Noah turned his attention back to the truck he was building. After a moment he had something to say about the matter. He kept his eyes on the truck as he spoke. “I like to play with you uncle Rafa and I like when we are together. If we all live together I don’t have to say goodbye. I don’t like saying goodbye and not seeing you every day.”

Rafael ran a hand through his hair. What was he supposed to say when Noah said something like that? He couldn’t say nothing. He watched Noah continue putting the truck together, his shoulders a bit slumped and his head down. Maybe he could offer Noah a solution that would avoid the living together bit. He put his hand on the boy’s back and caressing him softly. “I don’t like saying goodbye either, mijo. I can’t solve the living together bit. How about we’ll call each other every day before you go to bed. Then you can tell me all about your day and what you did. Maybe I can even read you a story. Best of all we don’t have to say goodbye, we can say see you tomorrow.”

Noah paused, put the half built truck back on the floor, and sat in silence thinking about the man’s words. He turned and smiled. “I like that uncle Rafa. You promise we call every day even when you’re busy?”

“I promise.” 

“No take backs?”

“No take backs.”

“And maybe one day we can all live together?” That idea was still on his mind.

It was probably best to leave that one out there in the open without a definitive answer. “Maybe.”

TBC...


	33. A gift, a dress and a promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah has a gift for Rafael. Olivia joins her boys. Maybe there’s even a bit of flirting. Rafael makes a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something went wrong with updating the chapter. I tried a couple of times but something seemed to go wrong, or at least I think so. If you get the message that there’s an update but then the chapter is gone, yeah..that’s because I thought something went wrong.
> 
> Olivia is finally back together with Noah and Rafael. This is them spending time together, enjoying their time together. And Rafael and Olivia are together again and slowly they’re growing closer. 
> 
> Thank you for those who continue to hang in there with me. A special thanks to those who leave comments. They brighten my day. And also a thank you for those who read and leave kudos. That brightens my day too.

She could hear her son’s joyful laughter and her friend’s deeper rumbling laugh from within the apartment. The sound filled her with happiness. Her day with Melinda and Amanda was great. It was nice to go out with her friends and also know that Noah was in good hands. Not that that wasn’t the case with Lucy. Lucy wouldn’t have minded to take care of Noah so she could enjoy her day. Lucy had even suggested it a couple of times, but she’d always declined. She didn’t feel comfortable imposing on the girl’s time even more than she already did. Plus with the time she spend at work it was important to her that she spend as much time as possible with her son. Yet this scenario with Noah in Rafael’s care was different because she wasn’t imposing on Lucy, her son was more than thrilled to spend time with Rafael and she didn’t feel like she was letting her son down.  
  
She laughed at the sight that greeted her when the door finally opened. Noah was hanging upside down, his back against Rafael’s chest, feet dangling over the man’s shoulder, and Rafael’s arm wrapped around his waist and the other on his legs to keep him safe in his hold. He was laughing out loud as he looked at her topsy-turvy.  
  
“Mami.” Noah managed to say amid laughter.  
  
“Is this little gremlin yours?” Rafael’s eyes sparkled, the gold flecks in his green eyes more noticeable than usual.

“Mmm...” She bend to the side, in Noah’s direction, till she was almost eye to eye with him. “He looks familiar.” It made Noah laugh even louder. Olivia watched Rafael wrapping his arm around her son, lifting him up so he was upright again. He was always so gentle with Noah, not only in the way he talked to Noah but it was also in his touches. She saw it now too in how he shifted her boy in his arms, held him and made sure he was safe and secure, that no harm would come to him. 

“Give your Mami a hug.” Rafael briefly touched his forehead against the boy’s.

Noah did so immediately. He opened his arms widely but didn’t leave Rafael’s arms. That meant she had to invade Rafael’s personal space to be able to hug her son. She didn’t want to deny herself or her son the hug. She stepped into them and Noah immediately wrapped his small arms around her. She hugged him back with one arm. Two arms meant getting Rafael involved in the hug and that seemed too much. Nonetheless standing this close to him while he held her son, feeling his warmth and being surrounded by his scent caused a shiver to run through his body. She didn’t need to look at him to know that he’d noticed. 

“Missed you, Mami.” Noah kissed her cheek. 

“Missed you too, my sweet boy.” After kissing his cheek she quickly stepped back otherwise the chances were too big that she would stay in that exact spot. She decided it was best to walk further into the apartment. 

She spotted the the donut shop Noah had talked to her about the moment she walked in. Why they’d put it in the middle of the living room was beyond her. It was far from practical. She guessed it most likely was because of the space it offered. There was a big bright pink donut on the roof of the shop, a smaller toy ship, also a yellow taxi and there was the truck with crane to put the donut on the roof. “This looks great, guys.”

Noah held her hand and leaned his head against her leg. She ran her hand over the top of his head. “We’re gonna built a city.” 

“True.” Rafael joined them. “This is only the beginning.” He observed Olivia. She wore faded jeans, blue sneakers with white laces, a grey mid length knitted vest and a black coat. Her hair was slightly curly and maybe even a bit unruly. She looked soft, carefree and open. “Did you enjoy your day?”

“I did.” She wrapped her arm around Noah and held him against her side.

“Some good shopping?”

“Yes actually.” 

“Yeah?” He tilted his head to the side, his voice soft, his eyes tender.

She hummed. “Bought a new dress.”

That piqued his curiosity. “What kind of dress?” He put his hands in his jeans pockets and shifted back and forth on his sock covered feet, his shoes long discarded. He didn’t want to seem too eager, trying to pull of nonchalant. 

“A really nice dress.”

“Only nice?” 

She pretended to think, secretly delighted by his curiosity. “More than just nice.” She saw him take a step closer. 

Maybe this was his chance, the dress being the perfect pretext to ask her out. “Do you think maybe you’d...” He couldn’t finish his question. His oven was beeping. Dinner was ready.

“Pizza!” Noah ran towards the kitchen. “Uncle Rafa?”

“I should go help him out.” He thought otherwise Noah might try to take the pizza out of the oven himself. Rafael slowly turned on his heels and made his way to his kitchen.

Olivia shook her head. Had he actually bailed out on asking her out? She guessed timing really wasn’t on their side and not for the first time. There had been his mother’s sudden appearance which had caused her just as sudden departure. Then there was Rita’s call that interrupted Rafael’s evening at her home and now it was the oven. 

“You gonna join us, right Liv?” Rafael poked his head around the corner. 

“Yes. Let me just go hang up my coat.” 

She was hanging her coat up when Noah appeared at her side. “You having a good time with uncle Rafael?”  
  
He nodded, his focus was on something he was holding in his hands. “Did you bring new picture frames?”  
  
“I did.” All three were a simple black design. She hoped one of them would be the right size. She pulled them out of the bag. “Let’s see which one fits.  
  
“I’m really sorry, Mami.” He handed her the picture that had been in the frame.  
  
“I know you are, sweetheart.” From the three frames that she had, she could see one was too big and the other one too small. The last one was the right size and the picture fitted perfectly in the frame. “Here you go.” She handed it back. “Go give it to Rafael.”  
  
Noah walked into the kitchen, the picture frame held tightly in his hands. Rafael had set the table, three plates and the big pizza in the middle of the table. He was about to get glasses for the three of them, when Noah appeared by his side, timidly saying his name. He turned around giving Noah his complete attention. Noah stopped somewhat shyly in front of him he held hands out handing him what he held in his small hands.  
  
“This is for you.”  
  
He took the item from Noah’s hands. The boy kept his eyes focused on the floor. He looked up. Olivia had just stepped into the kitchen. He held her gaze for a little longer than usual wondering if in them he could see a clue to Noah’s sudden insecurity. She merely nodded at him to go ahead. Getting a good look at what Noah had given him he saw it was a picture frame. Turning it over he saw the picture from his abuelo and abuelito was already inside. He looked over at Olivia again who was smiling softly at him. He crouched down next to Noah and put his hand on the boy’s waist. “You bought me a new frame, amigo?”  
  
“Mami got a new one for you.” He plucked at the end of his sleeve, his upper body swaying slightly from left to right.  
  
It dawned on him then. That was why Noah had wanted to talk to Olivia that afternoon. It was such a sweet gesture. He pulled Noah into a hug. “Thank you mi dulce niño.” 

“Let me just put the frame back and then we can eat.” He kissed Noah’s forehead, stood back up again and left to put the new frame onto the end table. In passing Olivia his hand briefly brushed hers, telling himself that that brief contact was enough. “Go sit down, relax.”  
  
“And smile?” She said as he passed referring to one of their earliest conversations.   
  
He turned back, catching her eyes as she looked over her shoulder. “Always.”  
  
When he returned Noah was sitting at the table chatting with his mother about the adventures of the day. Olivia was at the kitchen counter getting them all something to drink while listening to Noah. This, them, it was what he wanted each and every day. Not for the first time it hit him how right it felt. It seemed to hit him harder now. He didn’t understand why that was, but wasn’t going to dwell on that. Instead he was going to enjoy this time together.  
  
Dinner was filled with light conversation and laughter. Noah chatted cheerfully. Both Rafael and Olivia were more than happy to have Noah lead the conversation. They only added their comments every now and then, sometimes teasing one or the other a little bit. After finishing the pizza Noah tried if maybe he could get some ice cream.  
  
“Ice cream time?” He asked, his blue eyes pleading.  
  
He had to give it to Noah for the attempt, that with those pleading blue eyes made it a difficult be stern. Plus at that age, who wouldn’t do the same. Olivia put her hand in front of her mouth, hiding her grin. She was curious how Rafael was going to handle this one. This one wasn’t up to her. She would only interfere if her son would become disrespectful which seemed unlikely. 

“Nice try, you know that’s not going to happen and you know why.” His chide was soft and slight.

“I know.” He wiggled on his seat. “Are you gonna have ice cream?”

Rafael pretended to think long and hard. “I could you know.” He saw Noah’s face fall. “But I won’t.” He quickly said. Noah immediately smiled again.

“If you boys have everything under control, then I’m going to go home.” Olivia announced. She pushed herself away from the table. Though she’d told her son earlier that day that a sleepover might not happen because of the little tantrum he’d thrown, she’d never planned on going through with that. Just like she’d brought the picture frame, she’d brought with her a bag for Noah so he had all his things for the sleepover. 

“You’re welcome to stay.” Rafael got on his feet too. 

“I know.” She wasn’t going to impose on her son’s time with Rafael. “Give me a hug, sweetheart.” Which Noah quickly did. Over her shoulder he looked at Rafael. 

“Can we watch a scary movie, uncle Rafa?”

Rafael looked at Olivia. He felt that decision was up to her. He was unsure of what would be appropriate. “That’s up to your Mami.”

Noah looked at his mother. “Please, Mami.”

“As long as you’re good for uncle Rafa and when it gets too scary you need to tell him.” She softly patted his chest with her finger. She kissed his cheek and hugged him again. 

“You sure it’s okay that we’re going to watch a scary movie?” He checked with Olivia. She hadn’t said no earlier. He was following her to the hall way.   
  
“Yeah, just don’t pick one that’s too scary. I’m not sure how he’s going to handle it.” Her son, at times, liked to act brave and tough, yet that never lasted too long. His sensitive and timid nature always shone true which she cherished. Taking her coat from the coat rack she continued. “His friend Sammy had a boy’s night with his dad last week. Apparently his mother had been away that day, so Sammy and his dad had spent the day doing boy’s things. That included watching a scary movie. He’s been telling Noah all about it. It made quite an impression on him. It’s been the topic of conversation at the dinner table every day this week. You’re the only one who he wants to do this with, no one else is allowed.”  
  
The implication of what she said wasn’t lost on him. Neither was what it meant and how big that was. He didn’t feel comfortable to address that now. He helped her into her coat. “I’ll try to find something not quite so scary.” He followed her the few steps to his front door. “You sure you don’t want to stay?”  
  
She shook her head. With her hand already on the door handle she turned her body slightly towards him. “Thanks for doing this, Rafael, giving up your Saturday like this. It means a lot to him, and to me.”  
  
He shrugged it off. “I love spending time with the both of you. Gotta admit I didn’t see much of you today. Any chance I might see that dress you bought?” His characteristic half smirk appeared on his handsome face.  
  
“Maybe, if you play your cards right.” Her eyes sparkled. She was delighted to see that smirk on his face.  
  
He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed to stop himself from reaching out and touching her. He loved their banter, the way they often seemed to rile each other up. She always kept him on his toes. “Oow, I’ll get them right, Olivia.”  
  
She actually shivered at his words. There was no doubt in his mind that he would and she was looking forward to it. “Promises, promises.” She teased. She quickly opened the door. It was time to go otherwise she was never going to leave his apartment. “Night, Rafael.”  
  
“Night, Liv.” He wanted to call her back, reach for her hand, pull her against his body and kiss her deeply. Instead he watched her walk away till she was out of sight. Only then did he close the door.

TBC...


	34. Scooby Doo on Zombie island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scooby Doo might have been scarier than expected. A phone call is needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more Noah and Rafael and a little bit of Olivia. I know there are still no declarations of love, or at least not between Olivia and Rafael. I promise we’ll get there. Just a few more chapters to go. But I’m trying to give you tiny little bits to show that they are getting closer and closer. They’re getting there. I hope you’ll hang in there with me.

Sleepily Rafael trudged from his bedroom to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. The evening had been a huge success. He’d chosen Scooby Doo thinking Scooby and Shaggy would make Noah laugh and make it less scary. Turned out Scooby Doo on Zombie Island was scarier than he thought it would be. He’d asked Noah if it was too much. He told him it wasn’t and he’d gone along with it. On his way back from the kitchen he decided to poke his head into the guest bedroom to check if Noah was okay. When he did he saw Noah wasn’t in the bed. “Noah?” Rafael pushed the door farther open, stepping inside. “Noah?” He tried once more. Still no reply. It was only after turning the lights on that he spotted the boy huddled in the corner of the bedroom, next to his bed. His arms wrapped around his knees, Eddie tucked between his chest and knees, his head on top of his knees, rocking back and forth.   
  
Without hesitation he made his way over to Noah, sat down and pulled him into his lap. “Mijo.” He whispered against he boy’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

“I heard a sound.” He hiccuped. “Then I saw someone moving outside the door and I thought it was the zombies.” He tried to burrow further into Rafael. “I couldn’t get to you.” His small body was trembling, his tears running down his face. 

“Noah.” He held him tight against his chest, wrapping his small body completely in his arms to make sure he felt safe and secure. “You’re safe here. There are no zombies. I promise.” They stayed like that, Noah clinging to Rafael’s shirts, his head against his chest listening to the man’s heartbeat. Rafael rocked them both gently, hoping it would calm Noah down. It didn’t and it rattled him. He felt guilty about choosing a movie that had clearly petrified the boy in his arms. He should have known better, should have done better. He was at a loss how the calm Noah down. Carefully and with Noah still firmly in his arms, Rafael got up. He made his way to his bedroom. He carefully got them on the bed. Leaning against the headboard he reached for his phone and put it on speaker. “Let’s call Mami.” He whispered. 

In her apartment Olivia woke up from the ringing of her phone. Keeping her eyes closed she grabbed her phone from the bedside table. She opened one eye to see who was calling. “Raf?” 

The nickname that he’d never heard her use before, her husky voice, knowing she was in bed, it all brought images to his mind that were unwelcome at the moment. “Liv.” His voice was just as husky. 

“Mommy.” Noah sniffled and hiccuped. Tears were still running down his face.

Olivia immediately sat up right in her bed. “Honey, what’s wrong?” Her son’s distress instantly ensuring she was awake. She thought about what the problem could be. There was nothing wrong with Rafael which meant her son wasn’t in any sort of danger. Something must have spooked him then to such a degree that Rafael was unable to calm him down. The movie. “Honey, was the scary movie too scary?”

“Yes.” He rubbed his cheek against Rafael’s shirt clad chest. He still held the shirt tightly in his fists. “It was Scooby Doo and zombies. I heard something and saw someone moving. I think the zombies are here.”

She heard Noah’s distress picking up a level. “Noah, there are no zombies. I promise you. Try to calm down a bit, honey.” She hoped Rafael was holding her boy close. “Remember, you’re with Superman, right? Do you think zombies would be a match for Superman?”

It took a moment, as if the question warranted some serious consideration. “No.” Noah whispered. 

“Because..?”

“Superman’s the best.” Noah finished. “Uncle Rafa keeps me safe.”

“That’s right, sweet boy.” 

Rafael once again felt blessed by Noah and Olivia’s faith in him. At last Noah was calming down, laying his head against his chest, no longer clinging that tightly to his shirt. He kept caressing the boy’s back. 

A comfortable silence settled between them. Noah’s eyes started to droop, sleep getting the best of him. Reassured that he was safe, he fell asleep against Rafael.

“He’s asleep.” Rafael said softly, not wanting to wake Noah now that he was finally asleep. “Thank you, Liv.”

“You’re welcome.” 

“I’m sorry for waking you up. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t calm him down.” Part of him felt like he failed. Yet he knew that sometimes all a boy needed was his mother’s reassurance. 

“No problem.” She yawned. “Night, Raf. See you tomorrow. Take care of my sweet boy.”

He smiled. She’d said it again. “Always. Night, Liv.”

Noah slept through the rest of the night without any problems and surprisingly also without waking Rafael despite the boy’s flailing limbs as he slept. He rolled on his side. Between Rafael and Noah was Eddie. Noah looked around for Tommy expecting him somewhere too. He was nowhere to be found. That didn’t seem right. He got so close to his uncle that he was sharing his pillow. He waited thinking it might wake him up. When it didn’t, he started softly poking Rafael on the cheek and nose. “Uncle Rafa, where’s Tommy?”

Whatever was poking him in the face, it needed to stop. He tried swatting it away, when that didn’t work he turned onto his back. Noah shuffled closer again. “Uncle Rafa.” He poked the man in the chest. 

“Noah?” Rafael mumbled sleepily. “You should be sleeping.” He didn’t know what time it was, yet it felt too early to get up. 

“Where’s Tommy?” 

“Tommy?” He pulled Noah close against his side. “Let’s get some more sleep.”

“No.” He struggled a bit against the man’s hold. “We gotta get Tommy.” 

Rafael rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t going to get more sleep if he didn’t answer Noah’s question. He needed a moment to clear his thoughts. Then he remembered. “Tommy’s on the couch. Remember? You kept him close when we watched the movie.” He turned his head to the side to look at Noah who was now nodding. “Can we get back to sleep now?” He was glad to see that Noah put his head down on his bicep and seemed to settle in. That lasted only for a moment. He was just about to drift off to sleep again when Noah started talked. 

“We forgot to give Mami her present.” 

“We’ll give it to her later today.” He closed his eyes and hoped that Noah would do the same. It appeared that was something else on because after a short silence there was another question.

“Uncle Rafa. Sometimes my friends do boys things with their daddies. And sometimes we have special daddy days at school.”

Rafael was right awake Noah. He felt Noah shift closer till his head found its place on his chest. He felt the boy’s body tremble. He tried to catch his eyes, but he couldn’t. He kept silent, not wanting to interrupt Noah.

“I don’t have a daddy. But maybe...” Noah took a deep breath. “Maybe...” 

Rafael’s heart was now thudding loudly in his chest. Afraid that the question Noah was about to ask was one he all too much wanted to say yes to. He kept running his hand up and down Noah’s back, hoping it would comfort him. “It’s okay, hombrecito.”

The encouragement was what Noah needed to ask his question. “Maybe when there’s daddy day at school you can come? And we can do boys things together?” He finished in a mere whisper.

Rafael knew that the longer it took him to answer the question, the bigger the chances were that Noah would think he was rejecting him. He had to push his own feelings that the question caused aside. “Of course, mijo.” He kissed his head. “I’d love too.”

“Really?” Noah pushed himself up from Rafael’s chest to finally look him in the eyes.”Even when you’re busy?”

“Even when I’m busy.” He ruffled Noah’s curls.

Laying back down, Noah rubbed his cheek against Rafael’s chest and closed his eyes. “Love you uncle Rafa.”

Rafael swallowed thickly. “Love you too, Noah.”

TBC...


	35. A swing, a misunderstanding and a fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia joins her boys again. There’s a misunderstanding and Noah takes a tumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since writing went well this weekend, I decided to post another chapter. Olivia, Noah and Rafael are together again. Remember people, tiny steps, tiny steps, but we’ll get there eventually. Thank you to all who are willing to keep on hanging in there.

She was walking through the park where she was meeting Rafael and Noah. The weather, though not especially warm, was nice. She’d had a lazy morning. She’d been able to sleep in, had taken her time preparing and eating her breakfast. She’d also been able to clean up her apartment in a much more efficient way than when Noah was around. He would often get in the way or interrupt her which wasn’t a bad thing, but it always ensured that cleaning up took up more time than she wanted it to. Now with her apartment mostly tidied up she was on her way to see her son and her ... She faltered in her step. How to best describe what Rafael was to her? She couldn’t really say. She settled on that he was her Rafael.  
  
After looking around at the spot they’d agreed upon meeting each other, she finally spotted Rafael and Noah at the swing sets. Both of them occupied a seat and were merrily swinging along. Noah was laughing brightly. She heard him tell Rafael to not go so fast. She watched them from a short distance for a while. Happy to see them both enjoying each other’s company as much as they did.  
  
“Hey boys.” She greeted as she approached them.  
  
“Mami.” Noah greeted, waving at her from the swing and then quickly grabbing hold of the rope again. He kept on swinging, wanting to get as high as he could. “Look at how high!”  
  
“Just be careful, honey.” Trying to temper his enthusiasm a little bit.  
  
“I will.” He glanced over at Rafael. “Come on uncle Rafa. Let’s go really high.”  
  
“Let me greet your Mami first.” He slowed down till he could step off the swing. He smiled, eyes crinkled, delighted to see her again and have her by his side. He joined Olivia who was casually leaning against one of the poles of the swing set. Again she was wearing jeans and sneakers, the same as the day before. Today she was wearing a vest with a hoodie that fell over her black coat. He enjoyed seeing this casual side of her. “Hi.”  
  
Just like him she titled her head. She looked him up and down. He was wearing beige slacks, brown sneakers, and thick brown sweater which, from what she could see, looked incredibly soft. Over his sweater he wore a light sports jacket with a hoodie. The scruff on his face and his unruly hair made her stomach flutter with butterflies. “Hey.” She looked over at her son. “Did he sleep okay?” Referring to their nightly phone call.

“Yeah, he just needed the reassurance of his mother.” He glanced over at Noah. “He was up early enough though. He was afraid we’d lost Tommy.”

“You didn’t have him with you in bed?” She didn’t even try to hide her smile.

“No. For your information Tommy was of great comfort during the movie so we managed without him. Plus Noah had Eddie, who just like Noah found his way to my bedroom.” He leaned in. “Next time though you’re watching with us.”

“Mmm...” Olivia pretended to think it over. “Need me to protect you two boys, huh?” She once again teased him. 

He took a moment to reply. He could answer in a teasing manner. He didn’t want too. He tipped his head from side to side. “Maybe.” He looked past her, because it made it easier for him. “I miss you when you’re not with us.”

His words took her completely by surprise. Sometimes he said the sweetest things out of nowhere and she didn’t always know how to react. Especially when he seemed to be unsure of it, with him avoiding her eyes like he was currently doing. She reached out, taking the border of his jacket in her hand, pulling slightly on it to bring him even closer. “I missed my boys.”

“Yeah?”

She found the sudden shyness he displayed adorable. “Yeah.” She turned serious. “We can’t continue like this Rafael.”

He was just about to touch her, his hand already mid air, when he felt the air leaving him as if he’d been punched in the gut. He looked away, swallowed thickly and stepped back. “I...” He didn’t know what to say. Where was this coming from? Was it because what had happened last night? Had she realized that he was a wrong influence on her son? Had he disappointed her?

She’d only been joking, yet the brief flicker of panic in Rafael’s eyes made it clear her joke had gone over his head. She grabbed his jacket, stopping him from creating more distance between them. 

“What I meant is that every time you or we are out with Noah we’re doing something special. Go to the movies, you went climbing with him, going shopping, going out for lunch, watching scary movies.”

He still wasn’t sure where she was going with this. “I’m sorry if...” He started to apologize again.

“Rafael.” She touched his hand briefly. “I just don’t want that to become the new normal for him. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Okay.” He was still hesitant. Had he, unbeknownst to him, crossed a line. “Of course. I never meant to...”

She had to stop him again. She made him think he’d done something wrong and that wasn’t her intention. “I’m not explaining myself very well. I don’t want to make any drastic changes.” That wasn’t entirely true, but it wasn’t the point she was trying to get across. “Noah loves spending time with you. All I’m trying to say that when you’re with us, we don’t have to always do something special neither do you when he’s with you.” She thought for a moment, unsure of how to voice her thought, should she include herself in this or not? “You know it doesn’t matter to Noah what he does, all he wants is for you to be there with him.” To be there with us she added in her mind. 

He now understood what she was saying and that she wasn’t telling him to stop. He didn’t mind what they were doing, as long as he could be with Olivia and Noah. She didn’t know yet about what Noah had asked him, but he guessed Olivia would be fine with that. Her point was merely that all the outings weren’t going to be the new normal. He wanted them, the three of them to become the new normal. That wasn’t going to happen if there were no changes in their status quo. 

“Mami, you wanna come and swing with me?” Noah had slowed down to a stop. 

“I’d love too.” 

The three of them spend some more time on the swing set. Rafael switching from Olivia to Noah to push the both of them. After a while Noah wanted to play on the slides leaving Rafael and Olivia alone on the swings. The wasn’t much distance between them and the slides so they could keep their eyes on Noah. Both of them swayed a bit back and forward on the swings. A silence hung between them. Then, simply because he wanted the contact, he reached out for her hand which she had wrapped around the rope. He didn’t need to pry her fingers loose, she readily reached for his hand. With their fingers now laced together, their hands swung back and forth between them. 

“Noah asked me this morning if I would be willing to do boys things with him.”

Noah’s request didn’t surprise her. All this time with Rafael was making such an impact on her son for the better and the role in which her son saw Rafael was obvious. Still there was also a downside to it, all of this ending and not being able to recover from it. “I don’t want you to feel obligated, to feel like you’re pushed...” She didn’t know how to finish that sentence. She didn’t want him to feel pushed into a role that she hoped to see him in at some point.

“I don’t.” He was quick to say. “I’m here for the both of you in whichever way you need me.” He needed to forget about the role he himself wanted to have in their lives. He couldn’t force that upon them. It wasn’t about him. Still. “I wish you could have stayed with us yesterday, Liv.” He admitted.

“It was important to Noah to have his time alone with you.” She squeezed his hand softly. 

“Liv?”

“Mmm.” When he stayed quiet, she turned sideways to look at his profile. 

“Shit.” Rafael got up so abruptly, pulling at Olivia’s hand in doing so that he hurt her. His focus was on Noah whom he saw tumbling down the slide and hit the ground. “Noah.” He rushed over, dropped on his knees next to him. “Mijo, are you hurt?”

Olivia was right behind Rafael, crouching down on the other side of her son. Noah, who was in tears, threw himself into her arms. She glanced over his shoulder at Rafael who kept a hand on the boy’s back, rubbing his back softly. His eyes were wet. Noah’s fall had given him quite a scare. “Honey, where are you hurt?” She pulled back a little, cupping her son’s cheeks, looking him over for injuries and thankfully finding none. “Where does it hurt?” She asked him again, checking the rest of his small body for any injuries. Big tears kept rolling down Noah’s cheeks. “Honey, I need you to tell me where you’re hurt.” Noah eventually shook his head. “You’re not hurt?” He kept shaking his head and finally whispered a weak no. She pulled him back into his arm relieved that the fall hadn’t hurt him, but that it had scared him. She rocked him gently in her arms. “Let’s go home, huh?” She whispered in his ear.

“Uncle Rafa’s coming too?” Noah sniffled. He rubbed his face against his mother’s shoulder. 

He looked at Olivia who nodded at him. “I am.” Noah turned around in Olivia’s arms. He gave the older man a weak smile. He wanted to put the boy’s mind on something else. “Remember, we still have the surprise for Mami.”

“A surprise?” Olivia immediately went along with it. “You’ve got to tell me now.”

“We can’t. Right Noah?” 

Noah shook his head solemnly. “We can’t Mami.”

“You sure about that?” She tickled his sides making him giggle and wriggle in her arms. 

“Uncle Rafa, help me.”

Taking his hand and pulling him against his side Rafael rescued Noah from Olivia’s tickling. “Those tactics don’t work on us, Olivia. We are strong and can resist them.”

“Really? You sure about that?” She cocked an eyebrow. 

“Yes.” He stood back up, holding Noah’s hand in his. “Let’s go grab our bags and go home.” In a fake whisper to Noah he said. “Mami’s just has to be patient and she’s not very good at that.” He was happy that Noah made laugh. Olivia’s hey only making him laugh harder.

TBC...


End file.
